Tag Archives: date rape

The Soapbox: On Rape, Alcohol, Victim-Blaming & Feminist In-Fighting

I Was Date Raped
Amelia was date raped in college by a guy she liked. Read More »
Victim-Blaming PSA
date rape poster
But the PA liquor board's ads DO raise an important issue. Read More »
Frisky Feminism!
Everything The Frisky has ever written about feminism! Read More »
Today's Lady News
All of Jessica's daily Today's Lady News columns in one place. Read More »

If you write for a living — especially opinion writing, and especially as a feminist — you set yourself up for criticism. You really have no control over how others respond to your work, other than choosing not to write it. By attaching your name to your views, you put yourself in the position to be agreed with, judged, lauded, mocked, quoted reverently, misinterpreted, called somebody others “must read”, called crazy or ugly or both. I’ve experienced all these things at some point in my career.

It sucks, though, when the worst of those experiences happen from within the feminist community. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Was Date Raped When I Was Drunk

Too Drunk?
If you're a drunk woman who gets raped, will you be taken seriously? Read More »
Victim-Blaming PSA
date rape poster
But the PA liquor board's ads DO raise an important issue. Read More »
Drunk Is A Feminist Issue
Why women should be concerned about binge-drinking. Read More »

I was a virgin until a month before my 21st birthday. I was on my second date with a guy named Craig, a 20-something blond surfer type who got my number after I made him a chai tea to go at the coffee shop in his neighborhood where I worked. I was lying on his bed and the Best of Willie Nelson was playing on his CD player. He had a tapestry hanging on the ceiling and there was a poster for the critically un-acclaimed jam band, The String Cheese Incident, on the wall. I felt him enter me and it hurt like hell, but I was flying high on the notion that I had finally conquered two fears — the fear of having sex and the fear that I never would. Afterwards, I was a little embarrassed by the spotting of blood on his sheets — should I offer to wash them? — but I still couldn’t contain my excitement. Keep reading »

Date Rape PSA By PA’s Liquor Control Board Accused Of Victim-Blaming

Drunk Is A Feminist Issue
Why women should be concerned about binge-drinking. Read More »
Too Drunk?
If you're a drunk woman who gets raped, will you be taken seriously? Read More »
Rape Checklist
rapists photo
A handy checklist of things that cause rape. Read More »
Date Rape Drug Test
date rape drug photo
A date rape drug test may soon be available. Read More »
date rape poster

Pennsylvania’s Liquor Control Board is under fire for a new PSA campaign called Control Tonight, which critics say puts the onus on women for “not getting raped” while drunk and is blaming the victim. The ad in question depicts a woman’s bare legs on what looks like a tiled bathroom floor with her panties pulled down to her ankles and the text reads:

02:19 a.m  SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT, BUT SHE COULDN’T SAY NO.

When your friends drink, they can end up making bad decisions. Like going home with someone they don’t know very well.

Decisions like that leave them vulnerable to dangers like date rape. Help your friends stay in control and stay safe. Keep reading »

Date Rape Drug Test May Soon Be Available

date rape drug photo

A test for date rape drugs may soon be available so women can learn in real-time if their drinks have been spiked. All a boozer has to do is dip the test into the drink and the test tells you whether it’s been roofied with either GHB or ketamine. The test works equally well on beer, cocktails, mocktails and soft drinks and allegedly has a 100 percent success rate. Date rape drug tests, created by Israeli scientists, should be commercially available in a year and a half. Keep reading »

Bristol Palin Says That While Her Virginity Was “Stolen,” Levi Johnston Didn’t Rape Her


Bristol Palin was on “Good Morning America” this morning, promoting her memoir, Not Afraid Of Life, and attempted to clarify that while Levi Johnston “stole” her virginity, it wasn’t date rape. She said:

“[Stolen] is what it felt like. I’m not accusing Levi of date rape or rape at all but I am just looking back with my adult eyes that I have now, and just thinking ‘that was a foolish decision.’ I should have never been underage drinking, and I should have never gotten myself into a situation like that.”

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why Being Drunk Is A Feminist Issue

Too Drunk?
If you're a drunk woman who gets raped, will you be taken seriously? Read More »

Last weekend, I stood on the subway platform, thumbing through a magazine and grumbling about how the next train wouldn’t arrive for another 11 minutes. As I waited, more and more feet descended the stairs. Two pairs caught my attention — one was manicured with bright red polish and strapped into a sky high silver sandals, the other was in electric blue stilettos. Both pairs of ankles wobbled as their owners awkwardly lowered their feet. It seemed like at any moment, one—or maybe both—of them would come plummeting down the stairs. A few unsteady steps later, two women appeared in full view—both their faces were flushed and they clung to each other’s arms for dear life. “Wha a you lookin’ at,” one of them slurred to a guy who shook his head as they passed.

These girls were trashed. It was only 8 p.m.

Watching them zig and zag down the subway platform, I felt adrenaline rush through me. I felt like I should do something. But what? These are adults. They’re just having fun, I thought. They can take care of themselves.

But then another part of me thought: how naive. Keep reading »

YWCA’s “Safety Siren” iPhone App Sends An S.O.S. Message For Help On A Sketchy Date

Ten years ago, when I was 17, I got into a car with a young guy I barely knew who was a customer at my job. We drove deep into the woods, parked his car, and got stoned. Bryan* eventually became my boyfriend, but I often think back to that night when I went off with a strange guy — and more than a few other nights like it — that could have gone wrong. I’ve always been a risk-taker, but, knock on wood, all the risks I took when I maybe should have heeded some “stranger danger” have turned out safe. But I know not every guy or girl is so lucky and this is how date rape and other acts of violence happens.

Could smartphones help keep people safe on dates, at parties and during risk-taking adventures? An app from the YMCA YWCA in Canada called “Siren Safety” thinks it just might. Keep reading »

How USC Frat Boys Are Silently Judging You (And Plotting To Rape You)

The barfy things that frat boys do know no bounds. Fellow ladyblog Jezebel obtained an email yesterday which was allegedly written by a brother in USC’s Kappa Sigma fraternity instructing his brethren on how to “rate” their conquests. There’s a numbered scale, people. Oh, and rape jokes. Keep reading »

Pop Star Brian McFadden Pens New Ode To Date Rape


You would think that a song called “Just the Way You Are” would be about loving and accepting a person with all their faults and foibles and so on and so forth. But it turns out that the full title of Irish pop singer Brian McFadden’s new song is “Just the Way You Are (Drunk at the Bar).” And it turns out that this song, far from being about unconditional love and acceptance, is in fact a gift for the committee in charge of picking a new national anthem for the Republic of Daterapia. Check out this chorus, after the jump. Keep reading »

Rape Victim Was “Inviting” Sexual Assault With Provocative Dress, Flirting

Watch out, because I am going to throw things. A judge in Manitoba has ruled that a 2006 rape victim who was wearing a tube top, high heels, makeup and no bra was sending “mixed signals” that “sex was in the air” to her rapist, Kenneth Rhodes, who was merely insensitive to the fact the sex near a “darkened highway” was not consensual. “This is a case of misunderstood signals and inconsiderate behavior,” said Queen’s Bench Justice Robert Dewar, who called Rhodes a “clumsy Don Juan.” Keep reading »

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