Swine flu is now officially the enemy of everything that is good. First it infected Rupert Grint and The Backstreet Boys. Now, there’s been an outbreak of H1N1 on the set of (gasp in horror) “Dancing with the Stars.” First, dancer Derek Hough got it. “I was sicker than a dog,” he said, divulging that his fever reached 105 degrees. “My whole bed was drenched because I sweated so much. I had to sleep in the bathtub. I’ve been sick a thousand times but something was different about this—I literally couldn’t walk or move.” Next, he passed it on to fellow dancer Mark Ballas, who wore a mask to keep from spreading his germs to partner Melissa Joan Hart. Others in the cast are trying their best not to pick it up. “I’m living off of Emergen-C right now,” said Lacey Schwimmer. Ditto for Aaron Carter. “I’m a hypochondriac—I hate, hate getting sick. I use hand sanitizer every five seconds,” he said. Please, swine flu, leave our dancing reality television alone and go pick on someone your own size. [CNN]

Kelly Osbourne has majorly grown on us since her days as a sort of bratty kid on “The Osbournes.” Now that she’s on “Dancing with the Stars,” we’re getting to see a side to Kelly we never knew existed! Last night, she admitted to loving musicals and being disappointed that she didn’t get to play the lead in “Chicago” on stage because she “couldn’t dance.” Watch the clip above to hear how “DWTS” has done wonders for Kelly’s confidence, then watch her and partner Louis Van Amstel do the Charleston—and prove the people who said she couldn’t dance wrong—after the jump.

Former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay made his debut on “Dancing With the Stars” with the cha-cha and made our hearts beat to the rhythm of “Wild Thing.” But now, at the urging of doctors and ABC producers, DeLay will withdraw from the competition after being diagnosed with stress fractures in both feet from dancing. He reportedly wears foot braces when he’s not in the ballroom, but the samba he performed Monday seemed worth the discomfort to him. “What’s a little pain when you can party?” DeLay said before his last dance. Take care of your feet, Tom. We want you well enough to dance the Texas two-step for the season finale. [NPR]

Mya Harrison earned 27 points for her rumba dance on last night’s episode of “Dancing with the Stars.” The judges gushed on and on about her great performance, which I have to say was very sexy and entertaining. But ever since Stacy Keibler competed on “DWTS” in season two I’ve had the same question: Is it fair for trained dancers to compete against Average Joe celebrities?

Speaking of politician butts, did you ever want to see Tom Delay shake his? Well, your dreams have finally come true. On last night’s premiere of “Dancing with the Stars,” the men of the competition showed their moves. Aaron Carter was clearly the best, but we think that’s cheating since he’s under the age of 50 and has a boy band background. UFC fighter Chuck Lidell took the award for Awkwardest Expression Whilst Salsaing. But it was Delay who stole our hearts with his performance of “Wild Thing,” thanks to his lip syncing, knee sliding, and just generally making everything groovy. Check it out, above. Tonight, the women perform. Go Melissa Joan Hart!

The new season of “Dancing With the Stars” premieres on September 21 and the producers have nailed down a pretty dope cast. We were really surprised to hear that former Republican House Majority Leader Tom DeLay will be sashaying across the stage, along with Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, and Aaron Carter. After the jump, hear what the new contestants have to say. [ABC News]

“Dancing With The Stars” is back, y’all. I won’t lie—last season’s cast was kind of the most amazing ever. (The Wizard of Woz, Steve Wozniak? Lil’ Kim? Denise Richards? Belinda Carlise? How do you top that? Besides bringing back James Dean from the dead?) But this season’s lineup is looking pretty dope, too. After the jump, the deets on all the contestants. Plus, who we think will lambada the socks off the judges.

The sudden death of Michael Jackson has been the best thing to happen to his sister La Toya Jackson‘s “career,” apparently. She’s always wanted a career on par with those of Michael and Janet, but she lacks the talent. Now, La Toya could be one of the “stars” competing on the ninth installment of “Dancing with the Stars.” Reportedly, she’s been approached by the show and is in “serious talks.” At least her age-inappropriate attire will be appropriate for this venue. After the jump, our dream list of “DWTS” contestants.

For the last three months, I’ve been a bit of an unwitting viewer of “Dancing with the Stars.” I haven’t watched it religiously, I never set my DVR to record it, and I never watched an entire episode from start to finish, but most Monday evenings, I could probably be found tuning in for at least a few minutes. The truth is I watched for one reason and one reason only, and that was to lust over gorgeous Gilles Marini (the “naked guy” from the “Sex and the City” movie). If you’ve caught his dancing this season, you may have been as surprised as I was to learn he didn’t win the title last night. Instead, he was beat — by less than a percentage point — by perky 17-year-old gymnast, Shawn Johnson (the third Olympian to win DWTS—Kristi Yamaguchi and Apolo Anton Ohno are previous season winners).

“Dancing With The Stars” castoff and diva rapper Lil’ Kim shakes what her mama gave her rehearsing for “Live! With Regis and Kelly” in Miami. [5/7/09]

Last night on “Dancing With The Stars,” the contestants had to dance the Rumba, a romantic dance that was difficult for shy, virginal 17-year-old Shawn Johnson to embrace, especially after her partner Marc Ballas got a boner (click after the jump to check it out!) during their live routine a couple weeks ago. Not to worry, though — Marc had a plan to help her relax and imagine herself in love with him! Since Shawn will likely miss her own prom this year if she continue with the competition, Marc surprised her with an impromptu prom one day last week. He filled their rehearsal room with balloons and a disco ball, wore a tux and wide grin, and handed Shawn a skin-tight, flesh-colored gown — you know, just what every teenage girl wants from a dude who got a boner for her on national TV! “I wanted to recreate the prom so it could help us get in the character of the dance,” Marc explains. He doesn’t mention how he recreated an after-prom, but after watching their Rumba last night, I think it’s safe to say the gown stayed on.