You may have noticed here at The Frisky we pull a lot of stuff out of our ass. 5 Things You Can Lie To Your Therapist About! 7 Ways To Wear Roadkill This Season! 13 Ways To Orgasm Using Pinterest! But a serious subject calls for Serious Journalism. And for some Serious Journalism this Father’s Day, I lazily emailed all the men I know who have young daughters and asked them for advice on raising healthy, happy girls as a modern-day dad.
For this first installment of Dads Raising Daughters, I turned to Tony, the father of three girls under the age of nine; Adam, the father of two daughters under the age of four; Jim, the father of a nine-year-old girl; Joe (AKA Frisky commenter _JSW_), the father of two girls under the age of twelve; and Jesse, the father of three girls under eight. Over the next several days, I’ll be sharing with you some of their fab (and adorable) advice.
First up, how to teach your girl she is smart and beautiful. Keep reading »
So Father’s Day is this weekend, as well as my dad’s birthday, and the only thing he says he wants is flip-flops. Fortunately, my dad is a pretty easy guy to shop for, because you could get him anything and he’d still feign like he loves it. Socks! Off-brand polo shirts! Gloves! No puppies, though — my mom and I learned that the hard way. As much as I imagine there are many dads out there like my own, who would rather be told “why don’t you just do whatever you want today?” (drink Red Stripes by the pool — hey dad!) than receive a material gift, there’s also dads who like stuff. I like to call this stuff dadcessories: wallets, watches, cuff links, some cool, casual man jewelry, etcetera. Here’s my roundup of ten fabulous, affordable gifts for the dad who’s into a little bit of embellishment.
My dad is a very wise man. He knows when to keep his mouth shut, which is pretty much whenever it comes to my love life. On other fronts he is and always has been very vocal — even a little bit hot headed. It’s the Brooklyn in him. In high school, when I got into a kerfuffle with one of my teachers, he showed up at her office and told her to “pound sand.” He did this without my permission and I was mortified. In college, when the storage unit where I was housing my stuff for the summer tried to swindle me, he called up the owner and threatened to hang the guy “from a flagpole by his underwear.” This is my dad’s favorite threat. Apparently, he actually did this to one of his campers when he was a counselor back in high school. He’s very proud of this.
But throughout my life, while meeting various boyfriends or hearing about them, he hasn’t given a single opinion. He hasn’t told any of them to pound sand or threatened to hang a single man who screwed me over from a flagpole by his underwear (although there were probably a few who deserved it). He has remained miraculously neutral. This is why I remember the three times he offered up dating advice. And I shall recount them for you… Keep reading »
When I got my period for the first time, my mom wanted to throw a party. She had the whole thing planned. There would be a circle of women — many of them her friends, who would talk about womanhood with me, share their womanly wisdom, and tell rousing tales of menstruation. My mom would present me with a special bracelet, ordered from a catalog of all-natural products, that somehow symbolized my transition from girlhood to womanhood. The red beads were supposed to represent my various life-stages. Or congealed menstrual blood, or something.
“Ohgodpleaseno,” I said, when she told me about her plan. Keep reading »
Shopping for dads is weird. You can go the tie route, or the dress shirt route, or the “Billy The Singing Bass” route. (Please don’t go that route.) Can you blame your dad for saying every year, “No, no, don’t get me anything! I don’t need anymore crap”? So I stopped buying my dad “crap.” Usually I end up buying him a book because he is a big reader. However, that is getting predictable! So this year I’ve searched high and low for the perfect gifts for a smartypants dad: a guy who can take apart and reassmble any appliance in the kitchen, a history buff, and someone who listens to NPR (even though he thinks they’re a bunch of dirty hippies). My dad would love every single one of these holiday gifts — I hope yours would, too! Keep reading »
Most would probably agree that the sight of a hot guy holding a baby in one of those hippie swaddle things is basically the hottest thing ever because it touches on two primal urges—the desire to f**k and the desire to procreate. I’m not saying all women want kids, but a glimpse of a hot dude holding a ridiculously cute baby is enough to make even the biggest kid hater go “hmm…” Said effect is evidenced by this recent Twit Pic of David Beckham cuddling little Harper Seven. Holy crap, I don’t even know who to swoon over. [Celebitchy]
Keep clicking for more proof.
“I was always daddy’s little girl. We did everything together. He was my hero. My father was always there with a hug for me; when I was little, he let me climb all over him like he was a jungle gym.
And then my body changed. I developed early; I had boobs by 11. And all of a sudden, my Dad stopped hugging me or touching me. He went overnight from being my best friend to being remote and critical.”
I read that in a student’s journal earlier this semester (quoted with permission). I’ve read and heard similar things countless times over the course of nearly 20 years teaching gender studies and doing youth ministry. Ask any family therapist who works with teen girls, and they’ll report the same thing I’ve heard: story after story of fathers withdrawing physical affection as soon as their daughters hit puberty. Keep reading »
For most of my 15-year dating career, I went for Fledglings, Makeshift Men, pre-release beta tests of the fully formed adult male. Like Rusty, the dread-locked guitarist with groupies to spare whom I followed to various smoky, sticky-floored venues in college, hoping he’d recognize me from anthropology class. Guys whose giant charisma, outsider cool or longer-than-purely-business hair stoked my sense of adventure and ate my own — often annoying — level of maturity for breakfast.
I was drawn to men who were nothing like the soft-spoken, principled and straight-laced person who had been the dominant male presence in my life so far: my retired CPA father. Keep reading »
Ever since I was a little girl, my dad has been a constant, loving resource with lots of study tips, helpful hints, and words of advice. Countless conversations after fights with my siblings and late-night study sessions before final exams taught me the most important lesson: parents really are your best friends in the world. The “dad-isms” and clichés that I once tried to ignore and/or make fun of are now the phrases I use on a daily basis to help make decisions or dole out advice to my friends. So here are the words I live by, thanks to my dad. Keep reading »
My father doesn’t like trying anything new. Paying bills for instance. He still writes checks and sends them snail mail. “You can pay everything online now,” I’ve told him. “It’s faster and you don’t have to use stamps.”
He refuses, though he’s fairly internet-savvy, because he’s paid bills this way for the past 30 years, dammit, and that’s the way he’s going to keep paying them. He can get impatient. His stories can go on forever. He can be antisocial and crabby.
I want to be just like him when I grow up. Keep reading »