When I was very young — eight, maybe — I remember walking out the back door of my family’s house with my mom. I had probably just asked for a cookie or something, and my mom’s response was this: “You know, if you keep eating sweets so much, people are going to think you’ll be an alcoholic one day.”
She contends this never happened, but I remember it clear as day. That was when I decided not to drink. It seemed expedient: I could keep eating sweets, and it wouldn’t matter what people thought about my future drinking habits, because I’d know that I wasn’t going to drink and therefore wasn’t going to become an alcoholic.
So the scene in the CW’s new show, “Jane the Virgin” (which premiered on Monday night), in which the heroine’s grandmother tells a pre-adolescent Jane not to lose her virginity, speaks to me. I know that feeling. That is Catholic guilt. Apparently, I don’t even know the half of it — my mom is good at guilt-tripping, but my aunt tells me that my grandmother’s ability to discipline via shame was downright masterful. In fact, my mother even harnessed some residual power from her mother’s guilt-tripping expertise by telling me a few times over my childhood, “Your grandmother would be so disappointed.” Keep reading »
The CW could have made television masturbation history if its new pilot for 16th century-based castle drama “Reign” had aired as planned. But unfortunately, the scene was so explicit that it made the press blush. In the uncut version, handmaid Kenna diddles herself in a stairwell only to be discovered by the King of France, who offers to assist her with the task, obviously.
So as not to outrage the Parents Television Council, the network made an executive decision to edit the scene down to nothing more than innuendo — a quick cut to the King’s hand reaching for Kenna’s privates. Womp, womp, womp. Maybe someday network TV will grow a large enough pair to show a handmaiden pleasuring herself, but for now, we’ll have to rely on cable TV.
Click through for some self-pleasure scenes that we were allowed to see in their entirety. [EW]
Get excited. The CW has announced that it will air what sounds to me like the best game show ever, “Extreme Musical Chairs.” The show description explains it will “transform the popular children’s game into a physically demanding competition with multiple rounds of elimination set in an indoor obstacle course.” It will feature 20 contestants fighting to find a chair to the soundtrack of a live band. The last player standing doesn’t just get a piece of birthday cake though. In this extreme version, they get a big cash prize. Tell me how I enter NOW. New goal in life: find a way to be on “Extreme Musical Chairs.” [The Daily What]
Ugh. Why haven’t TV producers learned not to eff with a good thing? Have we learned nothing from the crapfest that was Saved By The Bell: The New Class? Apparently not, because the CW network is developing a spin-off of the greatest teen high school drama ever, Beverly Hills 90210, possibly to include stars from the original series — because, you know, none of them are doing anything of note. I can already envision it now….
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Saying Tyra Banks is crazy is just redundant. After all those seasons of the Surreal Life, everyone must know by now that it takes a well-crafted level of â€œlook at meâ€ to make it in the biz. And in true celeb form, Tyra, the diva of drama queens, who screams all her lines like sheâ€™s getting slashed in a B horror movie, wants to be the gravitational pull of public attention. Whether sheâ€™s spooning Sherri Shepard on The View or showing off her model moves, sheâ€™s always doing something you have to watch like youâ€™re rubbernecking a highway accident. Unfortunately, in the media lately, sheâ€™s been made out to be a more of a car wreck than she deserves. Sheâ€™s just a TV personality people! So we here at the Frisky just want to stand by our loud and proud lady. We respect a woman, let alone a model, with a burgeoning career in her 30â€™s. And weâ€™re super psyched about her new CW reality TV show which will be based on one of our fav movies The Devil Wears Prada. So go on with your so bad it’s good self Ty Ty, weâ€™ll be watching you compete in Americaâ€™s Next Top Oprah! Keep reading »