Look at your cat. He’s probably over there in the corner licking his balls, or sleeping, or crunching some kibble. He needs some action. Some satisfaction. Maybe a crocheted penis toy from Etsy shop Meow-a-days will do the trick? Yes, they sell penis cat toys (“It’s a wiener cat toy. What else is there to say?”). But they also offer up cat toy bloody tampons and crocheted cat nunchucks, so something for every cat, really. [$14, Meow-a-days]
You would think we’ve perhaps come to the end of cat meme possibilities, but no, every time you think the Internet’s run out of cat ideas, someone goes and creates something like “Sports Balls Replaced With Cats,” a Tumblr which is dedicated to just that — taking pictures of athletes and Photoshopping kittens into their arms. Beefy athletic dudes cradling kittens? Yes, please. [Sports Balls Replaced By Cats]
I said it couldn’t be done. I was wrong. Here, my friends, is a cat in pantyhose, just chilling with his control top like it’s no big deal. [TruTV]
Ferrets: playful, baby-faced weasels or hissing, smelly spawn of Satan? Tell us your feelings. But first watch this video of ferrets joyfully leaping around a kiddie pool filled with packing peanuts. I’m exhausted just watching their prancing. They’re happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life. [Laughing Squid]
When is a poodle not a poodle? When it’s a ferret masquerading as a poodle. A man in Buenos Aires, Argentina, purchased what he thought were two toy poodles, but later found out were a couple of overly fluffy ferrets. It’s unclear whether the man had never, you know, seen a poodle before, or if he’d just been distracted by the white fluffy fur of the animals, but he didn’t realize his mistake until he took the animals to the vet and learned that the ferrets “had been given steroids at birth to increase their size and then had some extra grooming to make their coats resemble a fluffy toy poodle.” The man paid $150 each for the ferrets (toy poodles normally go for around $1000).
Weirdly, another woman from the same market said she’d been duped into purchasing a ferret she’d been told was a chihuahua, so it’s pretty clear that Argentina needs to revamp its Puppy Education Program. [Daily Mail UK]
Dear Goat Thief,
Listen, I get it. There is nary a time when I watch a funny goat video or walk by the urban goat sanctuary by my house (I live in Portland) and don’t plot a way to steal the adorable goats and make them my pets. My eventual life goal is to have a herd of a thousand pygmy goats who all wear coordinating sweaters, and it can be frustrating that my current lifestyle does not allow for that. Stealing just one goat often seems like a quick fix for my sad, goat-less life.
Perhaps you felt the same way when you abducted a pygmy goat from a Montana petting zoo. The next part though, the part where you took said goat to a bar at 1:30 in the morning, that’s the part I don’t really understand. Keep reading »
When I think about what might happen if I tried to put a pair of support hose on Colonel Mustard, well, it would not end well. Apparently putting pantyhose on dogs is something of a mini-trend in China. Sorry dogs of China, but these photos manage to meet at the crossroads of hilarious and weird and vaguely unsettling, which makes them perfect. A couple more after the jump!
Keep reading »
Today is a momentous, miserable occasion. This is the first birthday of everybody’s favorite misanthropic kitten, Grumpy Cat — and everybody’s celebrating. There are even Grumpster Cat birthday postage stamps! It’s hard to believe that just one year ago, the world was Grumpy-free. How did we express our dry wit and humor without her? The world has truly become a better, more grumpy place thanks to Tarder Sauce. So even though we know she probably hates birthdays, and parties, and anything fun at all, we’re happily wishing Grumpy Cat a most unhappy birthday.
Britain’s winters get chilly. What’s a newborn lamb to do? Augment your natural wool coat with a trendy neon sweater, obviously. [Buzzfeed]