Well this pretty much made my life. Last week, a warehouse in Fuzhou, China hosted 3,000 goldfish from 14 countries around the world as they competed for the title of “World Goldfish Queen.” Contestants in the first annual International Goldfish Championship were judged on the following criteria: body shape, swimming gesture, color and overall impression. The winner has not yet been crowned, but a very rare, very “graceful,” very large fish weighing in at almost four pounds (which is an unheard of size for a goldfish) is considered the front swimmer.
I’m so much more excited about this than I have ever been about a human beauty pageant. You’ve got to love a pageant where the contestants are rewarded for being fat. Also, I think Miss USA contestants should have to compete in a swimming gesture rather than a swimwear category. I don’t know what swimming gesture is, but I want to learn. Show me! [Oddity Central]
It looks like animals can be just as musically inclined as humans are. I’m now a fan of Shanthi, the world’s most musical elephant. She’s not touring right now, but you can catch one of her harmonica ditties if you go visit Washington D.C.’s National Zoo, where she lives. Or you can wait for her music to become available on Spotify. Imagine how good she’d be if she had lessons. [Buzzfeed]
Why do they even bother with bunnies on Easter? Unless, English Angora rabbits were the official Easter bunnies, then I would understand. But they’re not. Regular rabbits are, which aren’t nearly as fluffy in the face. I’m not a “squee-er.” In fact, I hate that word, but you can’t deny puppies with bunny ears. You just can’t. Actually, this is more than just an Easter video. Watch it year-round if you’re pissed about anything. Oh, and have a very Happy Puppy Easter! [You Tube]
Sometimes the internet bestows us with gifts. Strange gifts that make us laugh so hard we cry. Sometimes we don’t even know what’s happening or why, just that it’s happening. It’s not for us to understand, just for us to appreciate. I present you with the doggie music video version of “Ima Read” by Zebra Katz (SNAKATAK Remix). To quote Julie: “This song needed dogs.”
Beware if you are planning to visit the Caribbean island of St. Kitts. There are a species of monkeys that will steal your fruity rum drink with the paper umbrella while you tan. BBC’s “Weird Nature” featured a segment about vervet monkeys, the alchies of the animal kingdom. And I’m kind of obsessed. But unlike us humans, the drunkest monkeys are the most well respected. I challenge you not to enjoy every moment of this video. Especially the part where the wasted monkeys roll around on the picnic table. You are welcome.