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Afraid You’re A Hipster? Don’t Worry, There’s A Cure!

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Yes, there is a cure!

Worried that the fixed gear bike you’re riding and the artisanal honey you’ve spread on your organic spelt bread might mean that you’re a hipster? The bad news? Despite your protestations, you probably, definitely are a hipster (the first rule of Hipster Club is to deny you’d deign to be in it). But good news! You can fix it! The new drug Unprentiousil has been developed to offer you a new lease on life. So shed the heavy ironic chains of joke mustaches, microbreweries and that awful band Sleigh Bells. And even if you don’t want Unpreteniousil, you should get it anyway –just so you can say you had it before anyone else.

Chocolate Everyday Keeps the Doctor Away

While we might joke that chocolate is a lifesaver, but it actually is! A new study from Yale University found that pregnant women who eat chocolate every day dramatically reduce the risk of preeclampsia, a disorder that raises a pregnant woman’s blood pressure, causes premature births, and can result in death. But there’s also hope for those without a bun in the oven — the treats contain theobromine, which helps with persistent coughing. Hacking up a lung never sounded so sweet! [Daily Mail]

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