Tag Archives: crying

Sex Fail: He Cried In Bed

When I met Eric* at a friend’s birthday party, my first thought was that he was a man’s man. He was a six-foot-tall, broad shouldered carpenter from the Bronx with bulging arms covered in a myriad of swirling tattoos that strained the sleeves of his polo shirt. He caught me staring more than once. At my flirtatious request, he lifted his sleeve and showed me his ink. Keep reading »

Penelope Trunk Says Startups Shouldn’t Hire Women Because We’re Too Emotional

Technology startups should not hire women because their crying jags and fit-throwing at the office is too much of a distraction, according to Brazen Careerist and business writer Penelope Trunk, writing for business site BNET.com. Oh, you know us ladies and our hormones. It’s a wonder we get anything done when we’re weeping all the time.

Drawing on examples from her own life, Trunk argues that “diversity” may be an ideal that businesses in general strive for — studies have shown that a diversity of opinions and ideas is very healthy for a company — but that startups are so pressurized and intense that less diversity makes things run more smoothly. Since a hell of a lot of startups are run by men, Trunk advises the guys not to bring women on board because they will be “emotional” and “difficult.” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Everyone Saw Me Cry

“The important thing is that nobody saw you cry,” my mom kindly consoled me over the phone, after I told her how I had behaved like a drunk toddler at my friend’s wedding the night before.

“But mom, that’s just it, everyone saw me cry,” I tried to explain to her quietly, not wanting the couple having brunch next to me to hear.

“What?” my mom hollered back, slowly enunciating in the way older people distrusting technology tend to do at the slightest sign of interference.

“Everyone saw me cry,” I said a little louder this time.

“Where are you? I can’t hear you. I think we’re breaking up,” I clearly heard her say without the slightest hint of static or pending drop call.

“EVERYONE SAW ME CRY,” I shouted back, causing the chattering brunchers to stop and look at me, hints of tipsy pity filtering out from behind their sunglasses. Keep reading »

Ladies, Stop Crying! Your Tears Turn Him Off!

Well, crap. Turning dudes on — I’ve been doing it wrong. Apparently, bawling my eyes out in front of a man isn’t the way to get his d**k hard. This revelatory information is brought to you by a new study which shows a female tears emit signals that actually turn men off. Male participants who sniffed “odorless tears” (do tears usually smell?) from women who cried during a sad movie had lower testosterone levels and were less sexually aroused by or attracted to the opposite sex than male participants who sniffed salt water. The explanation? For starters, when people cry in the presence of another person, they’re seeking comfort, a biological fact that is unique to humans; no other animals cry when they’re in distress. Additionally, the tears shed because of heightened emotion are chemically different than those that spill over when you’re, say, chopping onions. So, basically, “if women are communicating a chemical message that they need comfort, not sex, it seems appropriate that a man’s testosterone level would take a dive.” Possibly more interesting than the ZOMG revelation that men don’t sprout boners when women are sobbing is that researchers also think there could be a connection between emotional tears and lowering aggression. So, like, turning on the waterworks when your man is being an a-hole could make him chill out? Oh wait — tried, tested, knew that already. [ABC News] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: Sarah Palin Says There’s A Double Standard For Crying

Sometimes there’s just so much lady news that I have to do a weekend post in addition to my regular daily post. So for your enjoyment, here is “Today’s Lady News: The Weekend Edition.” Damn, I feel all fancy, like NPR!

  • Former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin addressed soon-to-be Speaker of the House John Boehner’s habit for tearing up and rightly pointed out that there is a double standard when it comes to men and women politicians crying. “I don’t know if a woman would be given a pass necessarily,” she told “Good Morning America” co-anchor Robin Roberts. “I respect John Boehner because he has worn his feelings on his sleeve on things that are so important to him … and I give him that pass, too. But that’s one of those things where a double standard certainly is applied. I’m sure if I got up there and did a speech and I started breaking down and cried about how important it is to me that our children and our grandchildren are provided great opportunities, I’m sure that I would be knocked a little bit for that.” [ABC News]

Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Cry After Sex

The first time it happened, I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. My partner and I had just had some pretty wild sex, and after catching out breath, we were shifting around in bed to snuggle when a tear rolled down my cheek. My guy reached over to brush it away, but when I looked up, I saw that his eyes had welled up too. Before I knew it, another few drops slid down my face. What was going on? We’d just had awesome sex. Why the hell were we crying? Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Why Men Cry

Men don’t cry. We squint. Boys might be made out of snips and snails and puppy dog tails, but men are made out of leather and steel and “Hungry Man” meals. Kick us in the baby wallet and we might keel over. Let forth a grizzly’s roar. But cry? Men have three basic emotions: The Wave, Hulk, and whiskey. Our hearts are fist-sized beer kegs. Tears are just cowardly beads of sweat too scared to jump off our brow when sawing wood.

I’ve heard tales of some men who’ve cried when laid off. Which is nowhere in the man manual. When laid off, a man makes eye contact, shakes hands, and then calmly walks to bar where he plots revenge.

When a woman does us wrong, do we weep? Ha! We turn up AC/DC. Pull the curtains. Turn off the lights. Stand in the shower with our clothes on. Oh, did you think we got misty when you laid us off from the love factory? Well, you were completely right. Women have two tear glands: one to keep their peepers moist, the other to flood whenever Nicholas Sparks gives someone cancer. Our eyes were misting because that’s how they work, like automatic sprinklers on a golf course. That’s how we keep the ol’ skull cams lubricated in their sockets. When I buried my first dog, I bravely bid little Falkor good journey to Valhalla, the Viking afterlife. The last time I went to the optometrist, I sucked the medicinal eye droplets that were rolling down my cheeks back up into my face. I am that disciplined.

But as always, when it comes to platitudinous declarations, there are exceptions.

I’ve heard tales of some men who’ve cried when laid off. Which is nowhere in the man manual. When laid off, a man makes eye contact, shakes hands, and then calmly walks to bar where he plots revenge.

I suppose some cry at movies like “Rudy,” or “Braveheart,” or any of the “Friday the 13th” movies. Those dope-smoking camp sluts killed Jason’s mommy! I remember watching that scene in “The Empire Strikes Back” when Han Solo bravely prepares himself to be carbon frozen. My right eye twitched. It’s theoretically possible that men cry listening to country music, but dive bars are dark for a reason and no one can see you in your pick-up truck, the window rolled down and the night air whipping past your face. There are dogs worth crying over, I suppose. Living proof that licks are the real language of love.

Did I mention there are aberrations to my theory? At least personally? I didn’t? Maybe I’ve cried. I can’t remember if I’ve written about instances where such an improbable, but not impossible, event occurred. I don’t actually know how to read, so I can’t really tell you. Okay. So. Here it goes. I didn’t exactly cry when my father died. I snuck into the ICU and touched his cold foot and then I politely removed my skin and wrung it dry. And I’ve wept for a very simple reason. Because I wasn’t the man I wanted to be. A good man. An honest man. A man who didn’t keep his promises. Only the future cares about apologies.

A man who failed to cradle a loved one’s heart as if it were a football made of glass. Who is forced to keep the company of wreckage. Whose regret turns his bones to ice. A man sobbing softly because the road before him is long, dark, lonely, and there’s no turning back. The fire was set, and his words can’t extinguish them. But he sobs because he’s afraid that deep down, he never will be that man his father told him to be. I have been that man. Those tears will never be shed again. I can still feel their scars on my eyelids.

Follow John DeVore’s preening narcissism on Twitter.

A Handy Guide To What Causes Guys To Reach For A Hanky

Even Superman is susceptible to wounded Wonder Twins, a true sign that a testicle injury is man’s ultimate emotional downfall. I figure it’s the female equivalent of watching the end of a Nicholas Sparks movie and then suddenly getting punched in the chest. Guys, we ladies have tender spots, too! Keep reading »

Ever Break Down In Public?

Last night I had a breakdown. In public. And out of nowhere.

Sure, this has happened to me a few times before, maybe in college while drunk at a party—but that’s when I was 18 and probably everyone else around me was already on the verge of crying anyhow or puking in the bathroom. And in the end, no one would remember the next day. But now I’m 24, a grown-up in as much as I am a working professional, live alone, and pay all my bills. So when I go out, it doesn’t seem in the cards that my much more responsible self would somehow get involved in a drunken drama.

Keep reading »

Crying After Sex, Really?

On the most recent webisode of NonSociety’s “TMI Weekly” — that’s the internet TV show from ego blogger/”dating expert” Julia Allison and her posse — things got a little weepy. The gals — Julia, Mary, and Meghan — were discussing crying during/after sex and how doing so is “all good, but never fun to deal with.” Julia, who says she’s cried after sex with every guy she’s been in love with at least once, thinks shedding post-coital tears is a good thing because it “signifies an intensity of emotion that you just don’t normally experience” and usually occurs during “the best sex ever.” Meghan disagrees, saying that it could actually signify that the sex was really, really bad. Mary says she’s only cried once during a hookup and that was when a guy she was dating went down on her and finally made her come. I’ll spare you the torture of posting the full episode here, but I cannot resist the topic itself. Crying after sex, really? That’s normal? Keep reading »

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