Oh Riker, oh Commander, oh my dearest William T.,
The time has come to express just how much you mean to me.
I’ve had many crushes, they come and go every day,
But my love for you, Riker, well, it’s never gone away. Keep reading »
As a child of pop culture, it should come as no little surprise that most of my psyche was formed by various cartoon and film studios and is tragically underequipped to manage real life, even to this day, which is why you can only find me on the Internet, as I tend to shun the sun like some kind of eyeless deep-cave newt.
While you can easily rely on film to teach you how to deal with everyday situations like terrorism, dinosaurs and hangovers, the sad truth is that the formation of one’s sexual identity is probably something best not placed in the hands of Bruce Willis or National Lampoon. I mean, I think.
As it happens, my sexual awakening was a slow, shameful thing spurred by a handful of pop culture icons that, for one reason or another, stirred something vaguely confusing deep inside me, and will now be used to stir something vaguely off-putting in all of you. Read more…
On April 23, 1977, Kalpen Suresh Modi was born, and on March 21, 1984, I was born. We went on to do different things; he got to work for Obama, I almost made the cut to be a Disney Princess in Orlando. Though it seemed unlikely our life paths would ever cross, I have been dead set on making that happen. And I have failed, failed, failed.
I am not one of those people who is shy about her crushes. I HAVE A CRUSH ON KAL PENN. It began the first time I saw “The Namesake” in 2007. I had just moved to New York City and was feeling lonely, and I went to the Paris Theater by myself with a box of Dots and some whiskey and cried my little blue eyes out. I wanted to be that blonde bitch who got to date Kal so bad I had visions of pulling off some weird-ass “Silence Of The Lambs” shit on her. No matter that she didn’t get to date him in real life. Because here’s something you are about to learn about me: I don’t care about real life. I am all about fantasy all the time. Like getting to make out with Kal Penn. I want to lick those lips in circles until the Hindi cows come home. I want to run my hand through his locks and cup his butt cheeks. Keep reading »
Today is Thursday. That means nothing to you. But to me, it means I woke up smiling because every Thursday, I walk 13 blocks to visit my current crush. He works in the mobile falafel food truck which parks in my neighborhood once a week. In Hinduism, there’s a devotional act called Puja (and pardon me if I am getting this wrong, I learned about it in college so it’s been a while) where one shows reverence to the divine by lavishing worship on a object or representation of a deity. I’m not a religious girl, but I conduct my crushes with an air of spiritual devotion. I seek out men who edify some need in me. It’s not about physical beauty, although sometimes that’s involved. It’s not like I actually want to date them. A crush, for me, is not about sex or love. It’s about basking in the glory of the best masculinity has to offer. It’s about having a reason to walk 13 blocks in the rain to get a falafel, and feeling uplifted for having done so. After the jump, I pay homage to my biggest crushes of all time. Keep reading »
Okay, so I don’t know you if you guys watch “So You Think You Can Dance,” but if you like stories of human triumph, and also hot people, you will love this show. You will also love it for British judge and all around awesome dude Nigel Lythgoe, for whom I have the hots. Why do I love Nigel? Well, he’s a mega-zillionaire producer who worked on “American Idol” and “Pop Idol,” but rather than retiring to a boat off the coast of the Maldives or something, Lythgoe created “So You Think You Can Dance.” Because he loves dance!
And he actually knows what he’s talking about. Keep reading »
If you’re on Pinterest, you know that pictures of hot guys are always circulating around the site. Some of these gorgeous men are models, some are impeccably dressed street style subjects, and some are just random dudes. We’ve gotten kind of attached to some of these guys–whom Amelia refers to as our Pinterest Boyfriends–and we thought it was time for you to meet them. So without further ado, here are 16 of our PBFs, along with fake names and completely made-up facts about them that are probably true. Enjoy …
I moved last month, which means a new apartment, a new neighborhood, and most importantly, a new mailman, whom I already have a huge crush on. He’s, like, a totally Portland-y bearded hipster mailman, and my office window affords me an excellent view of a few blocks of his route, which leads me to text my best friend whenever he walks by (her reply is always the same: “I still can’t tell if this is a joke.”). As strange as it may sound, this isn’t the first time I’ve had a crush on a civil servant in blue polyester. Here are 10 reasons why I can’t resist a mailman … Keep reading »
Add Selena Gomez to the list of people who find Zooey Deschanel “adorkable.” The singer/actress posted a photo to Instagram of her reading the latest issue ofAllure (with Deschanel on the cover), calling the “New Girl” star her “current girl crush.” I have to say, I approve of this match much more so than Selena and Justin Bieber.
Gay, straight, or whatever—every lady has a girl crush. Strangely enough, my girl crush has been Eva Mendes ever since I saw the movie “Hitch” and fell in love with her tawny skin, sexy beauty mark, and impeccable wardrobe. Guess Ryan Gosling and I have the same taste in women — surely the three of us could work something out?
Anyway, click onward for more celebrity girl crushes — and tell us, who’s yours?
Most of us recall the vague sense of pain accompanied by pining for a man who would never know we exist. Luckily, many of our crushes of yore seem much less intimidating now. We’ve come a long way since we got popcorn stuck in our braces while watching Nickelodeon. Click through to see what’s become of our ’90s teenybopper crushes. Keep reading »
One of the things I’ve been thinking about during this drinking/dating/sex sabbatical of mine is how you know you actually like someone. I’ve come to realize that in addition to being an extreme emotions junkie, I’m what Dr. Drew might call a “love-a-holic.” A motivating factor in my desire to sleep with someone is for that amazing but temporary feeling of love and desire and wholeness that washes over me when I’m in bed with them. I lovvvvve the feeling of being in love, feeling love, having a crush, etc. Looking back, I’ve felt love for people that I barely know, let alone know well enough to deduce if I actually like them. So, in the last 20 days of being sober and date/sex-free, I’ve felt the feelings of liking someone hit me and instead of obsessing over them and rolling around in that feeling of like, I’ve tried to think about why I have that feeling. Keep reading »