The wonderful thing about a hefty amount of geek/nerd culture is that it is super-optimistic. John Green, author of A Fault In Our Stars, says that nerds are basically people who are “unironically enthusiastic … too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness.” Which is awesome!
The first time I hung out with my now-boyfriend, I totally melted over the fact that he got really, really jazzed pantomiming a stack that extended from hip-height to chin-height to illustrate how many books you can get for ten dollars at library book sales. As a little geekling, I learned to love guys like this by the examples that cartoons, TV shows, video games, movies, and books made for me of enthusiastic, caring dudes. Without further ado, my top five formative geek crushes…
So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
I’ve been with my boyfriend, Max*, for five years now. We are completely committed to each other and about as happy together as real-life couple can be. I don’t question the fact that we will be together forever. I don’t want to date anyone else. And yet, I still get crushes on other people.
I’ve always been the crushing type. I tend to fall in love with 10 different people a day, for one reason or another. I toss my feelings around pretty freely, and the result is frequent, fleeting crushes on everyone from my favorite barista to the guy who came over to set up my wireless internet to about one-third of the contestants on “The Voice.”
“I briefly fell in love with the cable guy today,” I’ll tell Max over cocktails. He laughs it off. Luckily, he loves this quirk about me. Keep reading »
Oh Riker, oh Commander, oh my dearest William T.,
The time has come to express just how much you mean to me.
I’ve had many crushes, they come and go every day,
But my love for you, Riker, well, it’s never gone away. Keep reading »
As a child of pop culture, it should come as no little surprise that most of my psyche was formed by various cartoon and film studios and is tragically underequipped to manage real life, even to this day, which is why you can only find me on the Internet, as I tend to shun the sun like some kind of eyeless deep-cave newt.
While you can easily rely on film to teach you how to deal with everyday situations like terrorism, dinosaurs and hangovers, the sad truth is that the formation of one’s sexual identity is probably something best not placed in the hands of Bruce Willis or National Lampoon. I mean, I think.
As it happens, my sexual awakening was a slow, shameful thing spurred by a handful of pop culture icons that, for one reason or another, stirred something vaguely confusing deep inside me, and will now be used to stir something vaguely off-putting in all of you. Read more…
On April 23, 1977, Kalpen Suresh Modi was born, and on March 21, 1984, I was born. We went on to do different things; he got to work for Obama, I almost made the cut to be a Disney Princess in Orlando. Though it seemed unlikely our life paths would ever cross, I have been dead set on making that happen. And I have failed, failed, failed.
I am not one of those people who is shy about her crushes. I HAVE A CRUSH ON KAL PENN. It began the first time I saw “The Namesake” in 2007. I had just moved to New York City and was feeling lonely, and I went to the Paris Theater by myself with a box of Dots and some whiskey and cried my little blue eyes out. I wanted to be that blonde bitch who got to date Kal so bad I had visions of pulling off some weird-ass “Silence Of The Lambs” shit on her. No matter that she didn’t get to date him in real life. Because here’s something you are about to learn about me: I don’t care about real life. I am all about fantasy all the time. Like getting to make out with Kal Penn. I want to lick those lips in circles until the Hindi cows come home. I want to run my hand through his locks and cup his butt cheeks. Keep reading »
Today is Thursday. That means nothing to you. But to me, it means I woke up smiling because every Thursday, I walk 13 blocks to visit my current crush. He works in the mobile falafel food truck which parks in my neighborhood once a week. In Hinduism, there’s a devotional act called Puja (and pardon me if I am getting this wrong, I learned about it in college so it’s been a while) where one shows reverence to the divine by lavishing worship on a object or representation of a deity. I’m not a religious girl, but I conduct my crushes with an air of spiritual devotion. I seek out men who edify some need in me. It’s not about physical beauty, although sometimes that’s involved. It’s not like I actually want to date them. A crush, for me, is not about sex or love. It’s about basking in the glory of the best masculinity has to offer. It’s about having a reason to walk 13 blocks in the rain to get a falafel, and feeling uplifted for having done so. After the jump, I pay homage to my biggest crushes of all time. Keep reading »