As Amelia told us earlier, People magazine has just announced Johnny Depp as the Sexiest Man Alive. Amelia loves Johnny, as do most of us, but she suggested People should think outside the box and give the honor to someone who isn’t such a leading man. My vote goes to Gilles Marini, the hot Frenchman you might remember as Samantha’s naked neighbor in the “Sex and the City” movie last year as well as the second place winner in last season’s “Dancing With The Stars.” He may not be People‘s Sexiest Man Alive (yet!), but he graces their issue with a sizzling hot centerfold spread (check it out after the jump!), and he stopped by the “Today” show studio this morning and perked me up way more than any double shot of espresso could. Let’s all take a moment and gaze at the eighth wonder of the world that is Gilles Marini, shall we? P.S. You can just skip ahead to the 2:18 mark. Hubba-hubba!

Some of you may already know who Sam Kass is, but I’m not really up on the goings-on in the White House kitchen, so today was the first day I learned about the young, chrome-domed chef cooking up the incredible hotness for the Prez and family. Kass was the Obamas’ personal chef back in Chicago, and when Barack won the presidency, he brought the 29-year-old to Washington with him. Along with Michelle Obama, Kass has been heavily involved in the White House’s organic food initiative. Clearly, he doesn’t mind getting his hands a little dirty and, as a result, my mind is filled with filthy things. Thanks to reader Alexis for the tip!

Ladies, allow me to introduce you to Jamie Dornan. I have been rocking a girl boner for him ever since I spied him alongside Eva Mendes in the October issue of Glamour. He is a model, most recognizable for bringing the male hotness to Eva’s Calvin Klein print ads, and is also the face of Dior Homme perfume. He fancies himself an actor and appeared in Sofia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette” and will be playing the lead as Agent X in “X Returns.” Jamie is from Northern Island Ireland, which means when he is moaning my name during sexytimes he sounds like a leprechaun. Enjoy another photo, after the jump…

Jesus. Mother. Of. God. Hands off, ladies! Amelia and I are already fighting over him. May the best woman win. Say Hello, sexy! to gravy-covered Joel Hicks, aka Stone Cold Steve Bisto, the 30-year-old hottie who won the 2009 World Gravy Wrestling Championship. Gravy wrestling? Apparently, yes. (It’s in England; I guess they’re into that sort of thing.) Hicks looked dayum fine winning upon competing for the third time. “And i dont even LIKE gravy!” wails crushing Amelia. Right now, I like gravy very much. [Square Hippies]