Tag Archives: criminals

Real-Life Goldilocks Arrested After Falling Asleep During A Break-In

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Real-Life Goldilocks Arrested After Falling Asleep During A Break-In

Having your house broken into is hardly what anyone would consider a “fairytale,” but when the burglar in question falls asleep on your couch after taking a shower, changing into your clothes and eating your food, it sounds an awful lot like one fairytale in particular. Meet Chancy Layton, 19, Florida’s (where else?) own real-life Goldilocks! Layton broke into a home in St. Augustine late last week, after being told by a friend that the house would be empty, and set about making herself comfortable.

Too comfortable Keep reading »

Man Dressed As Batman Delivers Criminal To Yorkshire Police Department

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Some guys have a hero complex. Others, have a superhero complex. Take the mysterious tights-clad man who walked into the Yorkshire Police Department last week to deliver a bad guy to officers by the scruff of his neck. Wearing a full Batman costume, the man identified himself only as Bruce Wayne.

Telling the cops, “I’ve got this one for you,” the faux-Batman escorted his catch to the quaintly-named police helpdesk at Trafalgar House. According to a police report, the man was then arrested for burglary, fraud and breach of a court order. He was detained at the station overnight and then sent to a nearby precinct where he was booked on additional charges.

As for Batman, well, nobody knows what’s become of him. Said the report, “The Batman outfit was a normal fancy dress costume and whoever had decided to put it on knew the suspect was wanted by police.” My bet’s on him holing up at Wayne Manor. [Telegraph]

Cleaning Fairy Breaks Into Houses, Leaves Bill

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If you wake up one morning to find your house sparkling clean, you might be a victim/beneficiary of the Cleaning Fairy, aka Sue Warren, an Ohio woman who has come up with a novel way to grow her cleaning business–breaking into people’s homes, spiffing things up, and leaving a bill. Last week her cleaning spree brought her to Elyria, Ohia, where she broke into the home of an 18-year-old woman named Mallory Bush and left a $75 invoice–including her name and contact info–on a napkin (shown above). When Bush called the phone number provided, Warren told her she was “driving down the street and randomly picked our house and cleaned it cause she was desperate for money.” That’s when Bush called the cops, who confirmed that the “Cleaning Fairy” had similar charges pending in nearby cities. I’d just like to say that if the Cleaning Fairy ever finds herself in Portland, she is more than welcome to make a stop at my apartment. I’ll leave some milk and cookies out, just in case. [Oddity Central]

Beware The Gang Of Blondes!

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Brazilian police have finally made some headway in a case that will undoubtedly be turned into a movie starring Blake Lively. Apparently, a gang of six young, attractive women has been staking out upscale shopping mall parking lots, targeting well-to-do blond shoppers to kidnap and rob. Two members of the gang hold the hostage at gunpoint for a few hours while the others drain her bank accounts and use her credit cards to buy designer merchandise. The Blondes have allegedly carried out more than 50 of these crimes, but now half of the crew has been arrested, and police have identified the remaining members. I’m sure there’s a “How many blondes does it take to commit 50 robberies” joke in here somewhere, but I won’t go there because 1) blonde jokes are stupid, and 2) I’m scared of retaliation. [NY Daily News]

18 Incredible Vintage Women’s Mugshots

We often joke that Australia is a country of criminals, so it’s fascinating to see a little snapshot from the country’s actual criminal past. The New South Wales Police Department released around 2,500 mugshots of some of its finest female criminals picked up between 1910 and 1930. The snapshots provide a fascinating glimpse into the lives and livelihoods of the criminal underworld.

A good number the women arrested were brought in because of their involvement in the back alley illegal abortion industry, while another large subsect were charged with petty thievery. Another crime of the time — drug use and cocaine possession.

The criminal life certainly was hardknock — many of the women look much older than their rap sheets belie. Let their weathered faces be a warning to you — crime certainly doesn’t pay in moisturizing cremes. Click through to see their vintage mug shots and read their fascinating stories. [Daily Mail UK]

And Now For The Best Line Uttered By A Naked Criminal!

God bless The Smoking Gun for bringing amazing tales about the laws of justice smacking down on criminals. For example! Melissa Lee Williams, 41, of West Virginia, who was arrested for threatening two men with a knife because they declined to engage in sexual contact with her. So, the story goes that Williams showed up at her ex-husband’s place at the motor inn in which they both reside. When Danny Williams answered the door, Ms. Williams ordered him and another man to “eat my p**sy,” as she disrobed. Her ex declined, but the other man, Adam Watson, agreed and began to approach … Keep reading »

Two Terrible Women Vie for Worst Mom of All Time

In one corner, we have Jayla Hamm, 18, the mother of a 22-month-old toddler who she taped to a wall using green electrical tape. In the other corner, we have Carol Lynn Schnuphase, a Michigan woman who bilked her neighbors out of $7,000 by claiming that her 12-year-old son had cancer. How did she convince them? She shaved the kid’s head and drugged him. Keep reading »

A Criminal We Can Get Behind: Man Steals Bacon From House

Look, we’re not advocating criminal activity; we’re just saying that if you’re going to steal something from a stranger’s house, why not take some bacon? Like this as-yet-unidentified thief from Red Hill, Surry, England, who surreptitiously stole a telephone and a packet of bacon from a house. While the telephone has since been recovered, the bacon is still on the lam (or in the thief’s belly, duh).

Said Detective Con Knowles, who is diligently working the case, “The victims are at a loss to understand why someone would break in to their house and steal a packet of bacon and we are equally stumped as to who this potentially peckish suspect is.” [BBC] Keep reading »

What If Your Mother Married A Rapist?

Shudder. Double X has a creepy tale penned by Anna Balkrishna about how her mother married her prison pen pal. Oh, and why was he in jail in the first place? Rape, it turned out. After 22 years of marriage, Balkrishna’s parents divorced. Not long after, Balkrishna’s mother happened to get a random, out-of-state, collect phone call from a man incarcerated at a New Mexico prison. (Apparently, this is one way guys in jail meet women.) For whatever reason, she accepted the charges, and there began their relationship. Then, they got married. After that, her mother found out that he had not been convicted of vehicular manslaughter, as he had told her, but rape. Balkrishna’s mother had been raped in college, but this revelation didn’t deter her. Eventually, it came to light that there were other rape charges — and a mistress. In 2006, the mother’s husband was released. He cheated on her and began using drugs again. These days, he’s back in prison for assaulting his first wife. Today, her mother doesn’t regret the relationship: “‘I chose that life myself,’ she says.” Would you date a guy who had a criminal past? [Double X] Keep reading »

How To NOT Date A Criminal

Women who fall in love with and sometimes marry psychotic killers — like Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) or Ted Bundy — have always fascinated me. I mean, why? Sure, people do tend to have types, but “big-schnozzed manorexic” is a far cry from “slitter of throats and raper of ladies.” However, I have to give these women some credit—at least those guys were still in jail and therefore unable to harm them when they hooked up.

Drew Peterson’s latest fiancé is more of a risk-taker. Twenty-four-year-old Christina Raines is set to marry 53-year-old Peterson despite the fact that two out of his four ex-wives were either murdered or missing and presumed murdered. Though he hasn’t been formally charged in either murder, he remains Suspect #1.

That said, most of us who’ve dated law-breakers go a lot less high-profile—here are a few signs that you might be seeing someone who lives on Johnny Law’s bad side. Keep reading »

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