Tag Archives: criminals

And Now For The Best Line Uttered By A Naked Criminal!

God bless The Smoking Gun for bringing amazing tales about the laws of justice smacking down on criminals. For example! Melissa Lee Williams, 41, of West Virginia, who was arrested for threatening two men with a knife because they declined to engage in sexual contact with her. So, the story goes that Williams showed up at her ex-husband’s place at the motor inn in which they both reside. When Danny Williams answered the door, Ms. Williams ordered him and another man to “eat my p**sy,” as she disrobed. Her ex declined, but the other man, Adam Watson, agreed and began to approach … Keep reading »

Two Terrible Women Vie for Worst Mom of All Time

In one corner, we have Jayla Hamm, 18, the mother of a 22-month-old toddler who she taped to a wall using green electrical tape. In the other corner, we have Carol Lynn Schnuphase, a Michigan woman who bilked her neighbors out of $7,000 by claiming that her 12-year-old son had cancer. How did she convince them? She shaved the kid’s head and drugged him. Keep reading »

A Criminal We Can Get Behind: Man Steals Bacon From House

Look, we’re not advocating criminal activity; we’re just saying that if you’re going to steal something from a stranger’s house, why not take some bacon? Like this as-yet-unidentified thief from Red Hill, Surry, England, who surreptitiously stole a telephone and a packet of bacon from a house. While the telephone has since been recovered, the bacon is still on the lam (or in the thief’s belly, duh).

Said Detective Con Knowles, who is diligently working the case, “The victims are at a loss to understand why someone would break in to their house and steal a packet of bacon and we are equally stumped as to who this potentially peckish suspect is.” [BBC] Keep reading »

What If Your Mother Married A Rapist?

Shudder. Double X has a creepy tale penned by Anna Balkrishna about how her mother married her prison pen pal. Oh, and why was he in jail in the first place? Rape, it turned out. After 22 years of marriage, Balkrishna’s parents divorced. Not long after, Balkrishna’s mother happened to get a random, out-of-state, collect phone call from a man incarcerated at a New Mexico prison. (Apparently, this is one way guys in jail meet women.) For whatever reason, she accepted the charges, and there began their relationship. Then, they got married. After that, her mother found out that he had not been convicted of vehicular manslaughter, as he had told her, but rape. Balkrishna’s mother had been raped in college, but this revelation didn’t deter her. Eventually, it came to light that there were other rape charges — and a mistress. In 2006, the mother’s husband was released. He cheated on her and began using drugs again. These days, he’s back in prison for assaulting his first wife. Today, her mother doesn’t regret the relationship: “‘I chose that life myself,’ she says.” Would you date a guy who had a criminal past? [Double X] Keep reading »

How To NOT Date A Criminal

Women who fall in love with and sometimes marry psychotic killers — like Richard Ramirez (the Night Stalker) or Ted Bundy — have always fascinated me. I mean, why? Sure, people do tend to have types, but “big-schnozzed manorexic” is a far cry from “slitter of throats and raper of ladies.” However, I have to give these women some credit—at least those guys were still in jail and therefore unable to harm them when they hooked up.

Drew Peterson’s latest fiancé is more of a risk-taker. Twenty-four-year-old Christina Raines is set to marry 53-year-old Peterson despite the fact that two out of his four ex-wives were either murdered or missing and presumed murdered. Though he hasn’t been formally charged in either murder, he remains Suspect #1.

That said, most of us who’ve dated law-breakers go a lot less high-profile—here are a few signs that you might be seeing someone who lives on Johnny Law’s bad side. Keep reading »

Tea Soothes Criminal

A thief with a knife came at a woman and her six-month-old baby as they walked down the hallway in a Tokyo apartment building. The armed man demanded money, but when she told him she had none, he barged into her apartment. The woman made him a cup of tea, and the thief put his knife away and talked about his life for 20 minutes. Then, the woman gave him $93 and he left. Police were unable to catch the man. My question is: What kind of tea did she give him? I could use some of that. [Reuters] Keep reading »