Dear Robert Wilkinson (aka drunk guy who sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” to a cop),
Hello. Nice to meet you. Queen is also my favorite band, although I prefer “Fat Bottomed Girls” or “Somebody to Love.” Sometimes when the world feels overwhelming and I don’t know what to do, I sing Queen. There’s something soothing about singing their songs aloud. They help put life in perspective. Speaking of “Somebody to Love” … I think you should drop me a line if you’re sober now. I’m not into drunks. Plus you live in Canada. I don’t know if serenading cops is a regular thing for you — I really hope not. But this happened back in November, so I’m assuming you’ve got your shit together by now. I should tell you, I really liked your message about “brotherhood of men on the planet earth.” I can tell you are a peaceful man at heart and that “physical violence is the least of [your] priorities.” I think we should go do some karaoke together. What say you?
A Florida woman accused by authorities of illegally injecting toxic substances such as flat-tire sealant and glue into women’s buttocks as an enhancement procedure is facing new charges.
Broward Sheriff’s Office deputies say 32-year-old Oneal Ron Morris faces unlicensed practice of medicine and related charges after three new victims were identified. Read more …
While you were eating your breakfast this weekend, a Pennsylvania woman was being assaulted by hers. The 51-year-old was rushed to the emergency room after her 11-year-old son attacked her with a toaster pastry. Because that’s what you do when you get into a verbal altercation with your mother, you strike her in the face with a Pop Tart. I’ve never thought of using a Pop Tart as a weapon, but I suppose they are rather dense. Hopefully this argument didn’t start because the boy hated his breakfast. Maybe next time she’ll serve him something less dangerous … like scrambled eggs. [Boing Boing]
We often joke that Australia is a country of criminals, so it’s fascinating to see a little snapshot from the country’s actual criminal past. The New South Wales Police Department released around 2,500 mugshots of some of its finest female criminals picked up between 1910 and 1930. The snapshots provide a fascinating glimpse into the lives and livelihoods of the criminal underworld.
A good number the women arrested were brought in because of their involvement in the back alley illegal abortion industry, while another large subsect were charged with petty thievery. Another crime of the time — drug use and cocaine possession.
The criminal life certainly was hardknock — many of the women look much older than their rap sheets belie. Let their weathered faces be a warning to you — crime certainly doesn’t pay in moisturizing cremes. Click through to see their vintage mug shots and read their fascinating stories. [Daily Mail UK]
What happens when you offer oral sex in exchange for an order of McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets? I’m sure you’ve asked yourself this very question a number of times as you passed the golden arches, dreaming of eating an order of heavily processed chicken product, but not quite being able to scrape up the $3.41 for the luxury. We’ve all been there. But who among us has had the guts to find out?
Los Angeles woman, Khadijah Baseer, had the courage to find out. The 31-year-old stood outside her local Mickey D’s drive-thru and told a number of male customers that she would blow them if they bought her an order of Chicken McNuggets. Her venture did not go well. She never got any nuggets. All she got was a lousy misdemeanor solicitation charge. We admire her for trying. We dearly hope she was at least trading her services for a 20-piece nuggets. Otherwise she was severely devaluing herself. [Oddity Central]
Christmastime means Christmas crimes. People do stupid crap all year-long, but the holidays inspire a special brand of crazy. The 2011 holiday crime season is just ramping up. Just this week a burglar broke into a Pittsburgh liquor store and made off with two bottles of alcoholic egg nog. I mean, egg nog is good, but not worth going to jail for. Click on through to see some of the craziest Christmas crimes committed so far this year. [Huffington Post]
We’re all familiar with crimes of passion, but true crimes of fashion were unheard of until, well, now. It was intended for all of the (new, as-yet-unproduced) samples from Marc Jacobs’ spring 2012 collection to be presented to editors tomorrow, but an unknown thief had other plans. The Telegraph reports that the entire collection has been stolen from a train leaving Paris en route to the press day. How does that even happen? What will this mean for Marc’s line, and the distribution of the clothing? Here’s to the proper authorities catching whoever did it and recovering the clothes unharmed, because I don’t think I’ll be able to go on without owning this ensemble… or at least knowing where it is. I’m sure this won’t be the last we hear of the incident.
Terry Trent of Ohio was eager to get a jump on the Christmas season. The 44-year-old, allegedly high out of his mind on bath salts, was arrested for breaking into a Dayton home and putting up Christmas decorations. He was discovered watching television on the couch by the 11-year-old boy who lives there. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’ll get my things and go,” Trent told the boy, shortly before a neighbor called 911. By “things,” he meant the pocket knife he was armed with. He was charged with burglary and spreading the Christmas spirit. No word on how the tree looked. If only every burglary ended so well. [NY Daily News]
Talk about old-fashioned parenting. Freemon Everett Seay and Julie Seay, from Washington State, were arrested for going Medieval on their 16-year-old daughter. When they found out she had gone to a party without their permission, she was beaten with a tree branch and forced to dress in armor and fight her stepfather with a wooden sword, duel-style, while her mother watched. Freemon and Julie may be Renaissance enthusiasts (like they’re literally part of a group that does Renaissance LARPing), but authorities do not endorse this antediluvian style of discipline. In modern times, we call this child abuse. Good thing they don’t actually exist in Medieval times or else they’d be getting the guillotine. [MSNBC]
A 40-year-old woman in Moscow must be extremely happy with her decision to get silicon breast implants five years ago. And not just because her tatas look great in a tank top. Apparently, her implants saved her life. When she and her husband got in a fight earlier this week, he flew into a rage, picked up a knife and stabbed her in the left breast, apparently going for her heart. But because of her implants, the knife didn’t reach her vital organs. Her surgeon confirmed that if she hadn’t had a boob job, she would have died in the stabbing. Egads. [Gawker]
Bizarrely, this isn’t the first woman who owes her life to her implants. More cases after the jump.
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