I can kind of see a vague resemblance between Alison Whelan (pictured above) and Captain Jack Sparrow. Something in the eyes. This 51-year-old plead guilty to aggravated theft this week, a confession which will land her in the slammer for four months. Her crime? Oh, claiming to be Captain Jack Sparrow and hijacking a ferry boat near a harbor in Devon, England last September.
The evening of the incident, Whelan called the paramedics, claiming she was having a seizure. When they arrived on the scene, they found Whelan and her friend aboard a 45-foot passenger ferry. When paramedics tried to board the boat, the pair became agitated. Untying the ferry from its dock and setting asail, Whelan shouted, “I’m a pirate! I’m Jack Sparrow!” (At least the paramedics were not made to walk the plank.) Keep reading »
An unnamed, 26-year-old Russian woman has been charged with murdering a man with her bra. Allegedly drunk, the woman and her boyfriend went next door to ask her 65-year-old neighbor for cash to to buy more booze. When the man refused, the woman beat him and then took her bra off and strangled him with it.
Yes, this is an awful crime. This innocent man did not deserve to die at the hands of this terrible woman and her brassiere. But let’s glean what good we can from it, shall we? Women, should you find yourself in a life-threatening situation know that you are wearing a self-defense weapon under your T-shirt. [Mirror UK]
Quick recap here. Sydney Spies is the Colorado high school student whose senior photo was deemed too sexy for her yearbook. Then, she and her mother Miki went on “The Today Show” to defend her right to express herself “artistically.” The whole kerfuffle helped land her a role in the upcoming SyFy channel movie “American Horror House.” OK, I believe that brings us up to speed on Sydney.
The 18-year-old resurfaced on Monday in a Colorado jail. Sydney and her 45-year-old mother, Denise “Miki” Spies, were arrested on suspicion of contributing to the delinquency of a minor, obstructing a police officer and resisting arrest. Meaning, they threw a big ass house party complete with kegs, booze, those red plastic cups, loud music and “numerous” underage kids. When questioned about the party, Miki, an unemployed “lifestylist” (she says she “STYLES the lives people want but don’t have time for,” whatever the hell that means), “broke into a full sprint.” Sydney attempted to block a police officer from entering the house and nearly kicked him in the groin. Eventually, the pair were detained, booked and later released on $15,000 bail. Keep reading »
Dear Chad William Forber,
I’m sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’ve tried to accept your Crisco fetish. But there is only so much this woman can take. When you get arrested Criscoing in public, that’s when I knew it was over. We had a deal about Criscoing in public! Keep reading »
Rhonda Washington and her husband agree on one thing: She stabbed him during a fight.
However, they can’t agree on whether it was because she was mad that he was high on PCP (her story) or that she didn’t like a post on his Facebook page (his allegation).
Regardless of who’s right, Washington, 33, of Bryan, Texas, was arrested Thursday morning on a felony charge after police said she stabbed her husband with a knife,The Eagle reported. Read more …
When does a hug become a crime?
One alleged serial hugger nicknamed “Jack the Gripper” is accused of pretending to know women and tricking them into giving him a hug, according to ABC News.
Now Missouri prosecutors are trying to determine if the accusations made by 36 women against the 44-year-old man amount to a criminal offense.
“He’d say, ‘Hi, remember me? I lived down the street in the corner house. How ya been?’” Des Peres, Mo., Detective Marshall Broughton said. “Obviously [the women] didn’t remember him, but he did it so quickly and convincingly that they felt embarrassed that they didn’t know him.” Read more …
A Phoenix mother has been arrested after authorities say she put beer in her 2-year-old son’s sippy cup.
Phoenix police were called to a pizza restaurant Tuesday night after witnesses say they saw 36-year-old Valerie Marie Topete pour beer from a pitcher into her son’s cup and then the child drank some of it.
Phoenix police say Topete admitted pouring the beer in the cup because the child kept reaching for the beer pitcher. Read more …
Dear Jason Slater,
May I start off by saying that one of the most attractive qualities a potential boyfriend can have is a sense of playfulness. And you, my friend, have that. I see absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that you are 28 years old and live in a pillow fort in your mom’s closet. Pillow forts are the most fun. And while I haven’t built one since I was nine, maybe 10, I am totally open to the idea of getting back into that. I think the authorities were wrong to arrest you for calling 9-1-1, saying you were the president of the United States and demand to speak to Tim Tebow. You don’t really think you’re the president or want to speak to Tim Tebow. I get what you were trying to do, Jason. You were making a prank call — one of my favorite things to do too! Well, it was when I was in middle school. Remind me to tell you about the time I crank called QVC and actually got on the air. It was such a rush! Anyhow, even though it’s not the best idea to prank call 9-1-1, I like your style. I can tell you are a true kid at heart. Wanna get together and build pillow forts and make prank calls? I think that would be radical. Check yes, no or maybe.
Peace Out Dude,
[943 The Point]
While there’s no shortage of creative ways criminals try to steal loot from stores, shoving prawns up your skirt apparently isn’t the best strategy.
But Krystal Douglas, 26, and her accomplice, 68-year-old Charles Simboyan, clearly thought otherwise before they were caught shoplifting from a Costco on Monday, State Island Live reports.
According to the report, security guards approached the woman in the parking lot after noticing her awkward walk.
But what first tipped them off was the $5,000 worth of missing polo shirts, which they traced to the duo thanks to security footage, according to Staten Island Live.
Their arrest brought an end to a two week shoplifting spree at the Staten Island store, police told the New York Post. Read more …
She was lubed up, then locked up.
A Florida woman was fine with bringing olive oil, and even PAM cooking spray, into the bedroom. But when her boyfriend brought up his former fling named Pam, she wasn’t having it.
When Barbara Hall, 60, asked her 45-year-old boyfriend to go to the kitchen for some “sexual lubricant,” he obliged, according to police reports obtained by TC Palm.
Then things got slippery.
“Barbara asked if he had also brought the PAM cooking spray,” the report states. “Barbara believed [the victim] misunderstood what she had said, and commented on a girl named Pam. … [He] admitted to having sex with Pam recently on her boat.” Read more …