Posts tagged "crimes"

“That’s Not Drugs, That’s My Nipple,” Says Florida Woman

Thank you to Tiana Nicole Calandro of Delray Beach, Florida (yay!), for the arrest excuse of the day. When she was pulled over for speeding, police saw something protruding from…

Ami Angelowicz | May 31, 2013 - 11:40 am

Today In Florida: Woman Cuts Her Boyfriend For Cutting The Cheese

It’s happened to all of us at one point or another. You’re sitting on the couch cozying up for a “Real Housewives” marathon and your boyfriend farts in your face.

Ami Angelowicz | May 9, 2013 - 3:40 pm

Today In Facebook Crimes: Woman Harasses Herself, Blames Her Ex And His New Girlfriend

I don’t know if this falls under the umbrella of “catfishing” or just plain old bat shit cray revenge, but a Michigan woman is facing felony charges for creating a…

Ami Angelowicz | May 7, 2013 - 10:40 am

Florida’s Feet Are Safe Once Again: Serial Foot Molester Has Been Apprehended

Florida police have finally caught long-time serial foot molester Reginald Cruz. The 23-year-old confessed to approaching hundreds of “dark-skin females” ranging in age from 10 to 32 in their cars,…

Ami Angelowicz | April 26, 2013 - 3:40 pm

Bike Thief Returns Stolen Bike With Apology Note And Domino’s Coupon

After experiencing a secondhand anxiety attack for the grad student who had their laptop (and 5-year thesis) stolen yesterday, this story is giving me hope. A Reddit user’s bike was…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | April 25, 2013 - 2:20 pm

Today In Terrible Teachers: Esther Irene Stokes Denies Molesting A Student On The Grounds That She’s Racist

Houston teacher Esther Irene Stokes has been charged with molesting a first grade girl, but denies the charges claiming that she would never touch a black child.


Ami Angelowicz | April 17, 2013 - 3:40 pm

If You Commit A Crime, Distract The Victim With Your Boobs

The boob tip of the day comes to us straight from a woman in San Francisco. When an argument over a parking spot in the Haight district escalated, the woman…

Ami Angelowicz | April 13, 2013 - 3:00 pm

Former Tennessee Vice-Mayor Arrested For Drive-By Masturbation

I often find myself marveling at people’s innovative (and illegal) public masturbation sessions. Like the guy who emptied a vacuum cleaner in a neighbor’s home and then pleasured himself on

Ami Angelowicz | April 9, 2013 - 1:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Stole 42,000 Pounds Of Cheese

Dear Veniamin Balika,

Let me preface this love letter by saying that I understand that stealing is wrong and don’t condone it. But I can’t help but be…

Ami Angelowicz | March 29, 2013 - 1:20 pm

You’ve Hit Rock Bottom When A Semen-Filled Squirt Gun Is Your Weapon Of Choice

Twenty-one-year old Eric Michael Miller of Bellingham, WA has been sentenced to 18 months in prison for burglarizing a home and shooting one of its habitant with a semen-filled squirt…

Ami Angelowicz | March 23, 2013 - 3:00 pm

We’re Breaking Up: Man Banned From All Libraries On The Face Of The Earth

Dear Tyree Carter,

You’ve really done it this time. When you started spending a lot of time at the library, I was excited. I thought you were showing…

Ami Angelowicz | March 18, 2013 - 1:20 pm

Judge Enters Not Guilty Plea For James Holmes

After James Holmes’ attorneys said he was not ready to enter a plea this morning, the judge did it for him—not guilty on 166 counts, including the murder of 12…

Newser | March 12, 2013 - 1:10 pm

Do Not Hire This Clothes-Stealing Realtor

Peeps be so weird. World’s creepiest Realtor, Stephen Brumme, was caught on video rummaging through his clients’ drawers and stealing their clothes. The Arlington couple who own the home installed…

Ami Angelowicz | March 8, 2013 - 8:20 am

14 Bad Teachers Who Make Carly McKinney Look Like A Saint

Last week, I called Carly McKinney, the Colorado high school teacher who was fired for tweeting pot smoking endorsements and half-naked pictures of herself, “the world’s most idiotic teacher.” I stand…

Ami Angelowicz | February 7, 2013 - 9:00 am

Online Dater Sues Because Her Date Tried To Kill Her

I think Mary Kay Beckman wins the award for the worst online date of all time. We complain about our online dates with weirdos and shitbirds (there have been a…

Ami Angelowicz | January 25, 2013 - 12:20 pm

Man Tattoos An Underage Girl’s Vagina, Faces Rape Charges

Topping the list of things that are wildly inappropriate for a grown man to give a girl for her 15th birthday: a tattoo of his name on her vagina. Thirty-year-old…

Ami Angelowicz | January 17, 2013 - 2:40 pm

Another Fake Doctor Accused Of Injecting Hazardous Stuff Into Butts

Liliana Coello, from Queens, NY, is another fake doctor accused of administering hazardous butt injections. Coello, 39, allegedly charged her victim a discounted rate for a series of procedures that…

Ami Angelowicz | December 24, 2012 - 2:00 pm

Shooting At Elementary School In Connecticut, Multiple Injuries

There has been a shooting at the Sandy Hook ELEMENTARY SCHOOL in Newtown, Connecticut, because that’s a great place for guns. More from the Hartford Courant:
State police are responding to a…

HyperVocal | December 14, 2012 - 10:50 am

7 First Dates So Terrible They Made The News

I once had a first date where the guy told me, in this exact order, that he was “under federal investigation,” “writing a book for young people about how to…

Ami Angelowicz | November 28, 2012 - 11:00 am

Mantatee Molester Arrested

Molest a manatee and you may find yourself behind bars. Gloria Garcia Guiterrez, the woman who was caught riding a manatee in Florida a couple of months back, was taken…

Ami Angelowicz | November 26, 2012 - 11:20 am
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