Tag Archives: crimes

It Should Be Illegal …

With all the talk about legalizing gay marriage and decriminalizing marijuana, we started thinking about the super-important stuff that we wish the po-po would come in and regulate. After the jump, 30 unacknowledged crimes that should be illegal. Keep reading »

A Convicted Sex Offender Tells His Side Of The Story In Vanity Fair

The December issue of Vanity Fair contains a pretty shocking article called “A Crime Of Shadows.” The piece is about a convicted sex offender named “J” who was coaxed by Pennsylvania detective Michele Deery into meeting for sex in a parking lot. While this is not a crime, Deery had posed in a chat room as “Heather,” a mother with two kids and she made it very clear to J that she wanted her young children—who she said were ages 8 and 11—to be involved. Deery and J had quite a lot of nasty back-and-forth before their meeting, where a bunch of cops, not a mother and her two kids, showed up and slapped J with a slew of charges, landing him time in prison. But what about his side of the story? That’s what this piece focuses on. Keep reading »

Car Crashes Into Couple’s Bedroom While They Sleep

What is the worst possible way to be woken up from your slumber at 4 a.m.? By a car crashing into your bed! No, this is not a cockamamie plot from a Hollywood action film; this is a real-life nightmare. Last week, University of Nevada students Kristin Palmer and Trent Wood were sleeping soundly when they were awoken by a car crashing through their bedroom window. At first they thought it was an earthquake, but soon discovered it was a car when they were engulfed in motor fluid and metal. Fearing an explosion or permanent paralyzation, they waited anxiously at first, and then they tried to stay calm while emergency workers freed them with chainsaws. Miraculously, they were able to wiggle out from under the car and did not sustain any serious injuries. How? They say they owe it to the saggy-ness of their bed—it prevented their bodies from being crushed.

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Woman Exchanges Two Children For $175 And A Cockatoo. A Fair Trade?

Paul and Brandy Romero, a couple from Louisiana, got themselves in a bit of a pickle when they bought two children from Donna Greenwell in exchange for a cockatoo and $175. Though Donna wasn’t the children’s mother, the biological parents knew they were living with her and she claims she was just trying to find a suitable home for the unwanted kids. I guess Paul and Brandy fit the bill, since they were unable to have children but happened to be selling an exotic bird and somehow the subject of kids came up during the bird-buying transaction? Both parties were charged with two felony counts of sale of minors, which apparently only gets you a five-year prison sentence. The Romeros had their sentences suspended for testifying against Donna, who awaits her trial in November. I wish every conversation on Earth were recorded, so we could hear what really went down. Something like “Nice bird!” “Oh thanks, want some kids?” “Oh totally! That would be awesome—we’re barren.” “Super, I’ll give you two for 175 and the cockatoo.” “Word.” [AOL News] Keep reading »

Elizabeth Smart Takes The Stand To Tell About Her Kidnapping Ordeal

Elizabeth Smart was found more than six years ago, but her kidnapper, Brian Mitchell, has still not gone to trial. His lawyers claim that he’s a complete looney, and it’s been an uphill battle to prove that he’s fit to stand trial. Makes you oh so proud of our legal system, right? Yesterday, at Mitchell’s official competency hearing, Elizabeth took the stand for the first time to tell what exactly happened to her in the nine months she was missing. The details are horrifying: After Mitchell took her at knife-point from her house, he made her hike three miles into the mountains to a campsite he’d set up. There, he performed a “marriage ceremony” and raped her. She was 14 at the time. He raped her every day for the next nine months. She said, “Anytime I showed resistance or hesitance, he would turn to me and say, ‘The Lord has commanded you to do this. You have to experience the lowest form of humanity to experience the highest.’” Mitchell forced her to drink alcohol, to take drugs, and to watch porn. At one point, Mitchell chained her to a tree. Elizabeth says that Mitchell planned to kidnap a second girl to “marry,” though luckily the plot didn’t work out. Keep reading »

Chris Brown Starts Community Labor

I know what you’re thinking—there’s a typo in the headline and that it should be “Chris Brown Starts Community Service.” But you’re wrong—Brown’s judge specifically sentenced him to hard “labor,” and his supervising police chief has grand plans for him to remove graffiti, pick up trash, wash cars, and maintain grounds. Chris whacking weeds has already drawn lots of media and fans who want to watch (thanks for the boring videos, guys?), so he had to personally pay for extra guards to protect him. Hopefully after six months worth of hard labor, Chris will think twice before laying a hand on a lady. Also, someone make him put a shirt on. [LA Times] Keep reading »

Female Twins In An All-Girl Gang Acquitted Because No One Could Tell Who Did What

Australians Courtney and Amelia Prentice—19-year-old twins who look like bad-ass versions of Lauren Conrad—used to be part of an all-girl gang that spent a lot of time getting drunk and roaming the streets looking for fights. Last year, the group encountered two chicks on the beach and beat the crap out of them, knocking them to the ground, punching them, and yelling “Stab them! Stab them!” repeatedly before taking all their money. When the police rolled up at the twins’ house to arrest them, one of the girls punched an officer, so the whole arrest had to go down at gunpoint. Still, this week in court, the girls were sentenced to 18 months of probation instead of jail time. Why couldn’t the judge stick them with a worse punishment? Because the twins looks so darn much alike, no one could tell “who did what” during the fight. Ditto for the punching of the police officer. Keep reading »

Robber Returns To Scene Of The Crime To Ask Victim Out On Date

I’ve heard of pulling pigtails before, but Stephfon Bennett of Columbus, Ohio, had a whole new idea on how to get a girl. Diana Martinez was sitting in her car outside her apartment building with a friend, when three guys surrounded them, one holding a gun to her head through the window. They demanded all her money before she opened the door, knocking one of them over and getting away. She called the police and after filing her report, went inside her apartment. An hour later, she opened her front door. And Stephfon, whom she identified as one of the robbers, was standing there. Her cousin frantically called the police, scared that Stephfon would do something violent. Instead, he shyly asked Diana if she had a boyfriend and would like to go on a date. Too bad the police quickly arrived and arrested him—from his mug shot he actually looks kind of cute. Note to all the dudes out there: armed robbery is hardly the way to a girl’s heart. Who said chivalry was dead? [WBNS 10 TV] Keep reading »

Guy Skips Out On Bill, Then Steals His Date’s Car. WTF?

I was sure I had the trophy for “Worst First Date” in the bag, after I went out with a guy who, within the first five minutes of meeting, told me, “You’ve got great cans.” I felt like karma had worked its magic when, two minutes later, a pigeon pooped on him. But a woman in Detroit totally has me beat. She met a dude at a casino (something should have told her this wasn’t a good idea) and agreed to go out with him a few days later. She picked him up, and the two went for a (romantic?) dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. When the bill came, he said, “Oh, I think I left my wallet in your car.” She gave him her keys to go retrieve it. Only, he never came back. He not only skipped out on the bill—he stole her 2000 Chevy Impala. This dude goes on trial on Thursday, and faces five years for unlawfully taking the car. We think they should tack on an extra year for giving dudes a bad name. [Yahoo News] Keep reading »

Jaycee Lee Dugard: Her Kidnapper Calls A Reporter And Her Stepdad Appears On “Today”


Holy creepy. Last night, Philip Garrido, the man who allegedly kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard, kept her in a compound in his backyard, raped her, and fathered her two children, called a reporter from jail. Listen to the recording above. He says, “In the end you’re going to find the most powerful heart-warming story.” Yeah, somehow I just don’t think that’s gonna be the case. Happy Friday! More info on this horrific case, after the jump… Keep reading »

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