Ha! You thought I was going to make a joke about stepping on a banana peel, didn’t you? But no, instead, I’ll just say that these platform heels are rather appealing. Made by Scarlet Fever Footwear, a bespoke shoe shop in London, these babies definitely look slippery.
Yes, Christina Milian is wearing mom jeans and a leather harness and what appears to be half of a shirt, but I would gladly overlook all of that if it weren’t for those monstrous stiletto booties she’s teetering around on. As if the 6-inch (maybe 7 inches, actually–those things are hiiiiigh) heels weren’t anxiety-inducing enough, they’re also covered in spikes, as if to guarantee that the inevitable tumble will draw blood. Christina, I love you, but your shoes are giving me a panic attack. [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
These toothy oxfords, made with a pair of British dress shoes and over 1,000 dentures, are just an art project at this point, but let’s hope they don’t become a trend. I have a hard enough time remembering to floss the teeth in my mouth–I’m not sure I could handle the extra responsibility of flossing my shoes. [Fantich & Young]
Python print shoes are pretty cool. And studded shoes are totally badass. And neon shoelaces are a cool flourish. And big embroidered text across the toes of your shoes is alright, I guess. But as these Melody Ehsani x Reebok sneakers illustrate, all these things together in one shoe is, well, a bit much. Anyone out there dying for a pair? If so, these crazy kicks come out on September 30th. [Nice Kicks]
I was about to make a joke about how these boots look like something the designers created with little scraps of fabric and leather they found on the floor of the factory, and then I read the description and apparently that’s exactly how these boots were made. So I guess I’ll choose a different snarky comment: these boots like they’re in the process of molting. Zing! [Luxury Jones Boots, $438, Free People]
“Creative” and “eccentric” are adjectives that pretty much go hand-in-hand, so it’s hardly a surprise when clothing designers get a bit quirky with their creations. It’s almost never a bad thing — in a profession devoted to the manufacturing of wearable works of art, an odd bent here and there is not only appreciated but encouraged. Some designers take their whims to dresses, but for others, it’s shoes. Some of the world’s most renowned visionaries are responsible for kicks that you’d hesitate to put on, lest they bite your foot off. Many are incredible and inspired, while others are just weird. One thing is for certain: these designer deviations are not cheap. Looking extra avant garde comes at a price.