The results are in — after asking you guys to share with us the thing you’d most like to check off your to-do list, we’ve got a winner! Turns out sex with a near stranger is something that we’re all kinda into — check out this piece on using Craigslist for more than just finding an apartment, and be sure to see “The To Do List” starring Aubrey Plaza, in theaters today!
When I was 23, I moved to Seattle from New York City, for no particular reason except that I felt compelled to. When I got there, I was coming down from a pretty irreverent sex life in the Big Apple. I’d just had my first foursome and I was at what you could call a sexual peak. So basically, I was horny all the time.
I moved into a condominium which was like living on Pluto or some planet where I was the only inhabitant. My new condo had an elevator, a gym downstairs, two bathrooms, and a dishwasher. I’d never lived in a nice place before – especially one with a dishwasher — and I truly didn’t know what to do with myself. Keep reading »
Seeking a soulmate for your child doesn’t just happen in the movies, y’all! Like the scene in “Because I Said So,” where the mother posts an ad online secretly seeking a male partner for her daughter, a Philadelphian mom has taken notes and brought the helicopter mom to the next level. Looking for a “Sugar Baby for [her] Son,” this mom asks for a 19-year-old or younger to swipe her son’s V-Card before he heads to Harvard. Keep reading »
If you’re a graphic designer, or know a graphic designer, you’ve probably heard them complain about how often they’re asked to work for free. Designers are often “invited” to do work on spec, with the hopes that their designs will be used by a company. Companies do this, promising that “it’ll be a great piece for your portfolio.” But what it really boils down to is people working for free, and companies reaping all the rewards. And this is especially prevalent on Craigslist.
This same thing happens in a lot of other creative industries: Writing, modeling, you name it. For those just starting out, it may make sense to work for free to build up their portfolios. But more and more companies are relying heavily on free labor to do the work, leaving skilled creatives out in the cold. That may be why one disgruntled graphic designer posted the following message to Craigslist: Keep reading »
It was only a matter of time before cronuts, the delicious pastry baby of a croissant and a doughnut, made its way to the Craigslist “Casual Encounters” section. Since chef Dominque Ansel birthed the cronut, they’ve been are so hard to get your mouth on that the people of NYC have taken extreme measures to taste one. Predictably, some have posted Craigslist ads offering to pay up to $40 — that’s eight times the retail price! — for just one cronut.
And once you’ve offered to pay a ridiculous sum of money for a pastry, you’re just a hop, skip and a jump away from trading a cronut for a blowjob. “I want a dirty little slut who is willing to blow me for a genuine Dominique Ansel Bakery cronut,” says the Craigslist ad with the headline “Seeking Cronut Slut.” He’s 34 and has a fresh supply of cronuts for the right woman. But where is he getting his cronut supply? I’m tempted to reply just to see if I can get him to reveal his sources. Must. Try. Cronut. [Huffington Post]
Even in the throes of her video-making, bong-throwing, wig-wearing, Twitter insulting breakdown, somebody still wants to marry Amanda Bynes. Melissa the Great (aka The Love Vault) of Tilicum, Washington, posted an impassioned Craigslist ad proposing her hand in “gay marriage” to Amanda:
“I have seen you since I was a young folk in high school 9th Grade, 10th Grade, you took me away with your show. You are so deep and you allowed me to feel things about myself, like how I can talk to myself and answer myself. Its a road less traveled dear Amanda but you pulled it off and allowed me to relax to be who I was — a costume loving, creative goofball with a camera just like you!!
Amanda I would take your hand in gay marriage, but lets not be so fast with our approach. Nothing breaks my heart worse than the shattering glass of the bong from way up high… and you, to me, are way up high! Pieces of the bong scattered like pieces of my heart, And I want you to help me pick them up!! … I want to move you here to my house Amanda Bynes. I got half an acre we can buy dogs, horses, whatever. I want to take you every where like a young girl takes a raggedy ann…You can fly over, I got a dad, a good dad and we can share him if you do not have a father figure.”
Keep reading »
A woman is selling genuinely positive pregnancy tests via Craiglist, I guess because she’s pregnant and doesn’t mind peeing on lots of sticks. In the Craiglist post she writes:
Yes, you saw that right! I am selling positive pregnancy tests! Ever since I became pregnant, I have been asked numerous times for a positive test, so I decided to start charging for it! I will take the test the same day you want to pick it up! I dont care what you use it for, not my business! ;)
I am always near my phone, so just send an e-mail!
All that for just $25! Now, let’s just think about why you might want someone else’s used preggo stick. (All of the reasons are vaguely related to “The Maury Povitch Show,” for sure)
Keep reading »
Looking for a new apartment can be difficult anywhere, but in NYC it’s a bloodsport, and tales of shitty apartments are legendary.
Enter “The Worst Room,” a Tumblr chronicling, all-too-accurately, the shitty state of New York City apartment shopping. Tumblr creator Ryan says he made the site to “share the Craigslist postings I sift through on a daily basis trying to find decent, affordable housing in New York City.” And boy, are these crappy and overpriced — these apartments all-too-closely resemble crime scenes. And yes, I can say with experience, these are completely accurate depictions of how shitty and expensive city living can be. (There are also pleasant and affordable pads, too.)
So let’s take a gander at a few more terrible rooms Ryan’s found, shall we?
Keep reading »
Who has the time or the inclination to online date? Why bother with it, when you can just outsource it to an online dating surrogate, someone who will do all the “connecting with another living human being” junk for you. Some real peach of a guy created this Craigslist ad, in search of a woman to do all the dating heavy lifting. What’s he looking for? Funny you ask! “Ideal candidate for this job is similar to dating candidates sought: Pretty, thin, educated female in her 20s or 30s (with great taste and strong writing ability.)”
Sounds totally reasonable — as the plot of a shitty Justin Long movie.
The full ad is after the jump. [Betabeat]
Keep reading »
I am in the midst of an apartment search right now. It is annoying, frustrating, and anxiety-producing, but it is just Something That Must Happen. Somewhat more exasperating than just looking for an apartment is the fact that I am also seeking a roommate situation, which has led me to where else but that great cesspool of all things terrible and soul-crushing, Craigslist. Just how soul-crushing could it possibly be?, you inquire, doubting my integrity and ability to separate Truly Bad Things from Simply Irritating Ones because I am a young and very sensitive woman inclined to hyperbole and melodrama. Here, I present to you an actual post I was led to by my innocent hunt for a suitable (female) housemate. I would now like to wash my hands, and then maybe sew up my vagina. Inquire within! [Craigslist]