I’m taking a cue from Jodie Foster’s Golden Globes speech and outing myself: I’m a bikini waxer. I’ve been waxing regularly since 2001. But that doesn’t mean I’ve gotten used to it. I’m not going to pretend like it’s no biggie. After more than a decade, I still think it hurts like a motherfucker. I take Advil before I go and use numbing spray, but it’s still incredibly painful. And for the record, I will never stop praying for full bush to come back in style. The ’70s were the best! But there is some really, really good news about crotch waxing that makes all the pain worth it.
According to some new research, all of our effort (men and women both!) to remain hairless down there has put crabs on the endangered species list. That’s right! Pubic lice is on the verge of extinction. Keep reading »
“I was lonely. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. So, what did I do? I did it. Guess I learned the hard way that crabs do not discriminate but cross over all socioeconomic strata. He must have had quite the active life. What a way to put the kibosh on a relationship.”
—We suspected that Florence Henderson, aka Carol Brady, led quite the swinging life in the ’60s and ’70s when we found out about her shenanigans with Barry Williams, aka Greg Brady. But in her new memoir, Life Is Not A Stage, Florence reveals that she once had a one-night stand with New York mayor John Lindsay, even though she was married at the time. And, uh, brought home a little souvenir. Eek! [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
April is STD Awareness Month, and we asked you to share your STD-related stories so we could learn from
your each other’s mistakes. If you have a tale involving sores, Valtrex, or a judgy gynecologist, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will keep your identity anonymous.
My freshman year of college was probably the worst time of my life because I was out of my element, didn’t get along with my roommate, and was extremely homesick. I went home just about every weekend. To make matters worse, I experienced my first STD while away at school. Keep reading »
You can get anything from the Internet, even an STD! RevengeCrabs.com is a site dedicated to selling spurned lovers genital lice, otherwise known as crabs. If you thought your breakup fight had bite, it’s got nothing on what these lil’ buggers can do once they start snapping at a crotch. The eggs are so cheap and easy to purchase and use, this “settling the score” is sadistic like nothing else we’ve ever seen! And the mad scientists behind this lab have already expanded their line of lice to include shampoo resistant super crabs, bedbugs, and are even working on developing chlamydia and the clap for consumer use. But what could drive someone to go to this kind of extreme, let alone develop a business plan? These CEO frat bros claim they all got crabs back in college by the same woman and now they want revenge on the world. Even scarier, they promise this kind of payback is totally legal. Right…. Oh yeah, and just to add that extra creep factor, they offer school children tours of their facilities. We’re itchy just thinking about these buggin’ business dirt bags. [Trend Hunter] Keep reading »
I’ve already told you I’ve had HPV. I’ve managed to steer clear of any other STIs, but I know many people who have had herpes, crabs, gonorrhea, or chlamydia. What about you? Take our poll — don’t worry, all results are of course anonymous.
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Oh my god, CRABS. Aren’t they beautiful?
1. Pubic lice aka crabs, do not have feet. They have CLAWS, hence the whole crab thing. Without feet they can’t actually walk across any surface, but they do sort of swing from hair to hair. Like a tiny, tiny Tarzan, if you will.
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