The preliminary hearing for the Chris Brown and Rihanna drama will take place today in a Los Angeles courtroom, to determine whether there’s enough evidence for the case to go to trial. Contrary to what all you “Law & Order” fans think, there are not usually any big, jaw-dropping surprises in court. Everyone involved usually has a pretty good idea of what’s going to happen. So, to save you from all the suspense, here’s what to expect. 

Justin Timberlake could have Janet Jackson naked by the end of his song. In a surprising landmark judicial decision, the US Circuit Court of Appeals stopped the FCC from fining CBS over half a mil for the infamous 2004 halftime split second strip show…er, wardrobe malfunction. The Court ruled in favor of JT, Janet, and the station for a couple reasons.  At the time, the FCC laws weren’t explicit enough to be enforced for the accident, so it became a case of puritanical opinion versus freedom of speech. Also, since it was a live show, there was no way for any CBS employee to prevent Janet’s jug from airing, therefore, there was no network negligence. Nevertheless, Nipplegate was the shot heard ‘round the world and the FCC immediately freaked out and created tighter restrictions and higher indecency. The boobie bonanza is over! [Guide Live]

When I was in elementary school, saying you were going to sue someone was the cool thing to do. If your frenemy did something to annoy you, you would say, for example, “Steal my juice box, and I’ll sue you!” Suffice it to say no suing went on back then. Oh, how the times have changed. A 12 year old in Canada just took her dad to court, suing him after he grounded her for disobeying his orders to stay off the internet. He had banned her from going on a school trip after she used a friend’s computer to chat on websites he had blocked at home and posted pictures of herself online that Dad considered inappropriate. With the help of a public defender, she went to court and the judge ruled that the father’s punishment was too severe. Getting grounded is severe punishment? [AHN]

Three residents of the Isle of Lesbos (no that’s not a euphemism, they really live there) are suing the Greek Gay and Lesbian Union, Olke, over the use of the word “Lesbian.”  Although the plaintiffs claim they’re cool with the lifestyle, they want to stop the confusion and reclaim the name solely for people from the region. They’re loud, they’re proud, and they’re used to calling themselves Lesbians. But the term actually comes from one of the most famous Lesbians, in both meanings of the word, Sappho, a writer in Ancient Greece who wrote love poems to other women. Despite the ridiculousness of the charges of “psychological and moral rape” of their label, the case, supported by a member of a local pagan group and two other inhabitants, will be heard in a court in Athens sometime in June.  [The Telegraph]

Kids grow up so fast these days.  By 3rd grade, I had definitely played pretend bride, but a girl in Yemen was forced to do it for reals. At the bold age of eight, her parents married her off to a man over four times her age. It’s all fun and games until someone gets raped and beaten. Abandoned, alone, abused, what is a girl to do? Be her own superhero. Nojoud Mohammed Ali (no relation to the fighter) is a champion!  After escaping her husband’s home, she managed to find her way to a courthouse and asked for justice.  Thankfully, in court last week, she secured her freedom and is now possibly the world’s youngest divorcee, but definitely the world’s bravest baby girl. [ABC News]