So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
Dear Single Friends,
We haven’t seen a lot of you lately. And when we have, there have been strained exchanges and tense subtext. We can see you stifling an eye roll when we bring up our S.O.’s name. So we stopped bringing up his name because we didn’t want to make you feel weird. That only made us feel weird.
Single friends, we’re not dead, we’re just coupled. Everything has changed, but at the same time, nothing has changed. That sounds really esoteric, but it’s not. All the little things have changed — like, we now spend Sunday mornings snuggling instead of getting a pedicure and we’re not going to be around to do orphan Thanksgiving this year. Sorry. And no, we can’t be your single wingwoman on Saturday nights. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to hang out on Saturday night. We do. Because despite our relationship status, everything else is the same. Our friendships, especially. Keep reading »
It’s Halloween and everyone is gearing up with their spookiest stories. Maybe you’ve never experienced a bonafide haunting, but there might be a ghost in your midst and it could be wreaking more havoc than you’d imagine. We’re talking about the deep, dark issues that haunt your relationship — the kind that pop up and scare the crap out of you and your partner on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday evening. From unresolved crap with mom and dad to the emotional affair that’s been eating away at you, no relationship is safe. Happy couples know that the only way to deal with these phantoms, is not to hide in fear, but rather, shine a light on them. Unfortunately, there are no proton packs that will turn your issues into green slime — if only it were that easy! — but here are a few tips for scaring your relationship ghosts out of the dark corners where they lurk. Keep reading »
Couples and singles often view each other with a mix of confusion, suspicion, and, sometimes, straight-up hostility. We all know, deep down, that someone’s relationship status doesn’t define them or instantly turn them into a cliche, but that sure doesn’t stop most of us from making some ridiculous generalizations — even if we’ve personally been on both sides of the coin. Are your married friends sublimely happy all the time just because they’re married? No way! Is your single friend really free to dog sit for you anytime because she has no life? Nope. We wanted to debunk some of these ridiculous misconceptions as a reminder that we’re all on the same team. Here are some of the most common misguided assumptions single people make about couples (and vice versa). Read on to see what assumptions you might be making… Keep reading »
I remember a long while back I was dating this guy who, shall we say, had a lot of problems. He was at least 50 pounds overweight (and it bothered him, not me), didn’t make enough money to pay his rent (or afford a real bed), complained endlessly about how I was the only person in the world who didn’t think he was funny (I’m sorry, I don’t get off on corny, knock-knock jokes) and seemed to have some weird issues with his mother. Don’t ask. I didn’t. He was like Eeyore 24/7 and even though I liked him, I didn’t like him that much.
When I was in the thick of it with Eeyore, I went to a friend seeking counsel about what I could possibly do to help this guy with all of his problems. What she said to me was revolutionary: “It’s not your problem.” She was right. It wasn’t. This bit of truth helped me realize that I was like a mule carrying this guy’s crap up a steep mountain. Was really I free to unload helping him with his resume, lending him $10 bucks so he could buy a six-pack, comforting him while he bemoaned his “floppy love handles” and listening to his stupid jokes? Yes, I was. Keep reading »
Happy National Singles Week! Many celebrities make more than one trip down the aisle. But others forgo marriage altogether. They have made singlehood an art form. Who made the list? Read on to find out. Read more at Your Tango…
Sometimes the worst thing about having a fight with the person you’re dating is not that you’re fighting, or even what you’re fighting about; it’s about not understanding each other’s fighting style. Because whenever we fight, we go into our lizard brain default mode and before we know it we’re on autopilot going off on how he’s going to overcook the rice again and now he’s doing that annoying sympathy seeking thing. Fine! I’ll never cook rice again! You’ll be the only one ever allowed to cook rice since you’re the expert at it. How’s that? And … we’re off!
Geez, how did you end up here when all you really wanted to tell him was that your grandma taught you a special rice cooking trick that he might like to try? No matter how naturally compatible you are when you’re getting along, chances are, especially in the early days of your love, you’ll have to work at being compatible in the fighting department. That’s the tricky part — identifying your S.O.’s fighting style and learning to hear what he’s really saying about the rice. Below, some common fighting styles and some tips for dealing with them. Keep reading »
Harold and Ruth Knapke were childhood friends who started a romantic correspondence while Harold, known as “Doc,” served in the army during World War II. The wartime flirtation turned into a real-life relationship when Doc returned (as Ruth put it, “I let him chase me until I caught him!”), and the couple were soon married. During their 65-year marriage, they raised 6 children together, tended to their Ohio farm, and remained hopelessly devoted to each other. Earlier this month, days before their 66-year anniversary, Doc died in the nursing home room they shared. Eleven hours later, so did Ruth. Doc and Ruth had both been ailing, but the couple’s children believe Doc went first “as a final act of love.” “We believe he wanted to accompany her out of this life and into the next one, and he did,” their daughter explained. “It is really just a love story,” said another daughter. “They were so committed and loyal and dedicated, they weren’t going to go anywhere without the other one.” [Dayton Daily News]
Even when you’re crazy in love with someone, it can often be hard to know if he or she is “right” for you. How do you know you won’t feel differently in a year? Ten years? A lifetime? Deciding if you can commit to someone is a deeply personal determination, and everyone has different criteria. As in any verdict, you have to start by assessing the evidence. With that in mind, YourTango has come up with 15 signs that you’re dating a soul mate. You don’t have to check off all of these points to be sure about someone—but if you can say yes to several, you’ve found someone very special. Read more at Your Tango…
Everyone loves music, but if you happen to be one of those couples who just can’t get enough of certain artists, genres and experiences, then take a look at some of these date night ideas. They’re perfect for pairs that want to dance, sing and play the night away — together. Read more at Your Tango…
Don’t mind me, I’m just taking a moment to admire and appreciate my favorite couple in all of Hollywood, life, and the world. Ron Swanson and grade-A bitch Tammy 2 (or, you know, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally) are everything.