You know that moment, where you’re gripping some of your side fat in the bath, and you just ate all of the leftover spaghetti at once, with pesto and tomato sauce and grated cheese and, weirdly, liverwurst, and you’re thinking, Tomorrow I will go to the gym. And then I’ll go every day after that, for the rest of my life. And I will lose weight. It’ll be easier than I expect it to. And then my hair will grow out and it’ll be thicker than last time. And then I’ll be prettier. And then I’ll wear sleeveless dresses all the time and I’ll be happy?
That moment is lying to you. Keep reading »
Science, man. It’s a mystery. It seems that lately, science — rather than focusing on curing diseases or solving impending environmental disasters — has taken it upon itself to address an age-old problem: people with brown eyes. Yes, yes, some of you may in fact suffer from this affliction, but worry no more. A scientific solution is upon us!
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“My feeling is live and let live. But some of those procedures that make you look younger — I don’t know that they really made anybody look younger. I think most of the time they made you look like you’ve had something done to your face. Even with the laser stuff, the skin becomes so shiny. It’s like nothing sticks to it. It’s just shiny, shiny skin, and it doesn’t have a normal patina, so you’re like, ‘What’s the matter with them?’ Look, it’s hard to age. Let people do what they want to do, but I do think that a new normal sometimes starts to exist where the cosmetic surgery itself starts to look normal, and we lose track of what a real face is like.”
I can sleep easy at night knowing some plastic surgeon’s scalpel will never fiddle with the great beauty that is Julianne Moore. You tell ‘em, Julianne! [Health] Keep reading »
Did Bristol Palin get plastic surgery with her babysitting abstinence-preaching money? It looks like someone’s got a new face! In these new pics, Bristol Palin’s face looks slimmer and more heart-shaped while her chin and cheekbones are more defined, giving her an admittedly more “generic Disney star” look. Very “High School Musical” instead of “Teen Mom: Wasilla,” no? If anyone’s been going under the knife up in Wasilla, I’m sure Levi Johnston will have it blasted on a bullhorn just as soon as he catches wind of it. Do you agree it looks like Bristol Palin got plastic surgery? [Gawker] Keep reading »
Heidi Montag is really trying to elicit sympathy for the scars she says 10 plastic surgeries caused. She has a scar below her chin from a chin reduction, a scar in her hairline, scars on her breast, one below her butt cheek, two bald spots, and lumps from liposuction on her legs, butt, and lower back. Heidi says she regrets having all this elective surgery in an interview with Life & Style. [PopEater] Keep reading »
I am a hairy person. Think of the hairiest person you know, then think hairier. Think “Harry and the Hendersons” hairy. Anytime I am within a tongue depressor’s distance of an aesthetician, they find something new to wax. (This is how I learned the hard way that upper-lip waxing is not something you should agree to do lightly.) I’m super laid-back in the vanity department, so I am pretty used to waxers offering — nay, begging — to rip hot wax off my eyebrows, my upper lip, my arms, my legs and my lady parts. What I am not used to, however, is the suggestion that I fly to Colombia to get liposuction. Keep reading »