Gather round children and I shall share with you the secrets of the world’s laziest cook. That’s me! I come from a short line of lazy chefs. Namely, my mom, whose favorite prepared meal is Fritos and onion dip and my dad who makes a mean cereal and milk. Needless to say, I am self-taught in the kitchen. My cooking limitations became more troublesome after a series of breakups with boyfriends whom I persuaded to cook for me left all alone to fend for myself for every meal. I had no option but to learn how to become a kick ass lazy chef. I usually end up dining out or getting take out — ideal for the eater willing to exert minimal effort. On the rare occasion that I feel moved to cook (I do possess a preternatural feel for building flavor) or I am forced to prepare a meal (like if I just got sex or I’m trying to!), I have a few go-to meals that I can easily prepare using my one pan, three bowls, set of dull steak knives, and the other pathetic contents of my kitchen. Allow yourself to be dazzled by my never-before-seen collection of lazy people recipes. Bon appetit, lazy peeps!
Tag Archives: cooking
Last week, in honor of our mission to “Get Bitchin’ In The Kitchen,” I asked you to send me your favorite recipes for a forthcoming slideshow. Well, I got so many recipes that one slideshow just ain’t gonna suffice. Instead, I’m going to post the recipes over the course of the week — and I’m still accepting more, so send ‘em (to email@example.com) if you got ‘em! First up, three yummy pasta recipes from readers Sarah, Allison, and Megan!
I didn’t learn how to cook growing up. It’s not that my mom and dad didn’t know how to cook themselves; they’re both quite good cooks, actually. Dad makes a mean spaghetti sauce and I’ve planned entire weekends around Mom’s French onion soup, endive salad, and eggplant parm. But both of them are, and always have been, so absurdly territorial in the kitchen that I never much felt welcome. There’s many times I’ve tried to help out and perhaps pick something up, and gotten shooed away.
So I stopped trying. I cultivated indifference. I sat back while they cooked real meals for me well into adulthood. Whatever meals I cooked for myself were not real meals — in fact, I don’t know if you could say I “cooked” them. All throughout college and after college, I ate the kind of “instant meals” that American grocery stores are known for: macaroni and cheese, instant rice, ramen noodles, pasta sauce out of a jar. Maybe if I was getting fancy, I’d make a salad or scrambled eggs. Keep reading »
Sometimes watching a good food movie is just as satisfying as the food itself. Living vicariously through the golden ticket winners in “Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory” has been my favorite dessert substitute since I was a chubby eight-year-old with a restricted sugar intake. “They get to eat all the candy they want!!” I would squeal as the lucky children ate their way through a warehouse of candy. I just couldn’t believe their good fortune. Side note: When is someone going to invent lick-able wall paper? I want it now! Click through to see more food films that satisfy our hunger.
Remember Bonkers? Clearly Canadian? Planter’s Cheez Puffs? As much as you might love them, you can’t get them anymore. The food gods have declared these products, and the eight others on this list snack food non grata. Try as you might, you won’t be able to find these tasty (and, okay, not so tasty) treats anywhere. We’ve compiled some of our most-loved, but we want to hear what snack foods you miss the most. Tell us your gone-but-not-forgotten favorites in the comments.
Men and food: the relationship is deep and intertwined. Ever since the days when a man clubbed a pterodactyl on the head and dragged it back to the cave for her to pop in the deep-fryer, women have known that food is very important to them. Possibly, dare I say, even more important than blowjobs?
Yet a man’s relationship with food causes us Frisky ladies to ask many questions. How can they not understand why we need to eat chocolate cupcakes every day during our period? Why do they think Nacho Cheese Combos count as food? And what should we whip up in the kitchen if we want to get laid?
I wrangled up a few dude friends — including a couple guys I dated — and picked their brains for answers. And, in the process, I learned that I’m making mashed potatoes all wrong, apparently.
For those of you who enjoy getting your cook on, you know that kitchen gadgets and sex toys are hard to tell apart. In honor of Get Bitchin’ In The Kitchen week, we’ve prepared a fun little quiz for you. Click through and see if you can guess if each item is a sex toy or a kitchen utensil.
Last night, I went to my local crappy grocery store in search of something to cook for dinner. Bypassing the chicken (it looked gross) and beef, I stood in front of the pork section and stared. I like to cook pork, but I usually do a full pork loin and eat it over the course of a few days — but pork loin takes time to marinate if you want it to be really tasty and I needed to eat something now. So I grabbed a pack of three pork chops and thought, Game on, piggy. Keep reading »
Hooray! It’s time to Get Bitchin’ In The Kitchen, which means I’ll be sharing a new Random Single Gal Recipe every day for the next two weeks. The only thing that makes these recipes perfect for single gals is that you should feel free to make it for yourself and only yourself, if you so choose. After all, as a single gal myself, that’s how I cook. Today, I am sharing rmy absolute favorite chicken recipe, as well as a recipe for a simple and fresh green bean salad.
Lady chefs and home goddesses alike, take note: your kitchen presence isn’t destined to be bland in white cotton. Style is putting a new spin on the antiquated apron, so you can bring something fresh to the table without risking the destruction of a cherished top. I’m not exactly what you would call “domestic,” but after researching these cute apron possibilities you might just see me reaching for a spatula!