Tag Archives: consent

The Hacked Sony E-Mails Are A Distraction From The Larger Issues, And It’s Wrong To Use E-Mails Stolen From Anyone, Ever

I don’t take George Clooney that seriously, most of the time, but his interview with Deadline spoke to a lot of things I’ve been reflecting on about my job lately. In it, Clooney spoke about a petition of support he tried to circulate after Sony was attacked by what the FBI has now concluded were, in fact, North Korean hackers. The petition read:

“On November 24 of this year, Sony Pictures was notified that it was the victim of a cyber attack, the effects of which is the most chilling and devastating of any cyber attack in the history of our country. Personal information including Social Security numbers, email addresses, home addresses, phone numbers and the full texts of emails of tens of thousands of Sony employees was leaked online in an effort to scare and terrorize these workers. The hackers have made both demands and threats. The demand that Sony halt the release of its upcoming comedy The Interview, a satirical film about North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. Their threats vary from personal—you better behave wisely—to threatening physical harm—not only you but your family is in danger. North Korea has not claimed credit for the attack but has praised the act, calling it a righteous deed and promising merciless measures if the film is released. Meanwhile the hackers insist in their statement that what they’ve done so far is only a small part of our further plan. This is not just an attack on Sony. It involves every studio, every network, every business and every individual in this country. That is why we fully support Sony’s decision not to submit to these hackers’ demands. We know that to give in to these criminals now will open the door for any group that would threaten freedom of expression, privacy and personal liberty. We hope these hackers are brought to justice but until they are, we will not stand in fear. We will stand together.”

Keep reading »

The Soapbox: Let’s Get Real When Discussing Complicated Sexual Experiences

The Soapbox: We Can't Limit Our Vocabulary When Discussing Complicated Sexual Experiences

There’s been a lot of talk lately in the media about sexual violence. Late last month, former CBC Broadcaster Jian Ghomeshi was fired amid allegations of sexual assault. A few weeks ago, Shia LaBeouf came forward with claims that he was raped during an art exhibition. And by now everyone’s heard of the sex abuse allegations first brought against Bill Cosby decades ago, which seem to just keep coming.

Then a little over a week ago, Rolling Stone released an editor’s note that undermined their own investigative account of a brutal gang rape that allegedly took place at a fraternity house at the University of Virginia. It was a move that The Frisky’s Beejoli Shah astutely noted as “just another example of shifting the focus away from the real issue at hand: how we talk about rape, and how hard it is for survivors to come forward.”

As a former sex worker turned sex writer I think it’s good that people are talking about sexual health. It’s unfortunate, however, that we don’t know how to talk about complicated sexual experiences without focusing on two words: consent, and rape. In certain circumstances, I wonder if these aren’t the wrong words. Certainly, they shouldn’t be the only ones. Keep reading »

Mommie Dearest: On Lena Dunham & Teaching Children About Boundaries And Consent

Mommie Dearest: On Lena Dunham & Teaching Children About Boundaries And Consent

This post isn’t about Lena Dunham… really. So many others, including The Frisky’s own Amelia, have written about Dunham, her book, and the passages about her sister that have led to claims of molestation. But, I’m writing this because of the conversation that’s currently being had about Lena Dunham, so we can’t not talk about her.

The basics: Lena Dunham wrote a memoir and included bits about her relationship with her younger sister, Grace. Like the time Lena was seven and peered in one-year-old Grace’s vagina. Or the other time when Grace was older and Lena would give her sister candy in exchange for kisses. And then there was the story where Lena encountered masturbating in bed at 17, alongside her sleeping sister. Those bits got a few sites screaming “child molestation!” in Lena’s direction and the entire Internet has since blown up on both sides of it. But is it so crystal clear or black and white? When it comes to kids, sex, and sexuality can’t it be a whole bunch of fuzzy grey? Keep reading »

New Pew Study Shows That Women Are More Likely To Be Sexually Harassed Online

todays lady news
  • A Pew study looks at the differences in online harassment for men and women, and what do ya know, women are more often the target. [Slate]
  • Feminist blogger Lindy West imagines a social network that is specifically feminist and anti-racist. [Daily Dot]
  • Read about racism in the newsroom. [New Republic]
  • A Joan Didion documentary is crowd-funding on Kickstarter! [Kickstarter] Keep reading »

Mindy Kaling Defends Buttsex Episode Of “Mindy Project”: “There Was No Sexual Peril”

In case you missed it, last week’s episode of “The Mindy Project” was all about butt sex. Mindy’s onscreen boyfriend Danny (Chris Messina) wanted to try anal for the first time, attempting the act and claiming “I slipped.” The rest of the episode was dedicated to Mindy trying to determine if his “slip” was intentional, and how to deal with it. While speaking about her show at The New Yorker Festival, Mindy was asked a question about consent by one self proclaimed “hard-core” fan: “Were you at all surprised by any of the negative reactions that you got from some of your biggest supporters, and what was your response to that?” Keep reading »

Why California’s Active Consent Law Is Not An Outrage

California Governor Jerry Brown signed the state’s Active Consent bill yesterday, making it law in California that in order to receive state funding, universities must have policies stating that students must obtain verbal or nonverbal consent before having sex (a lack of objection or resistance does not constitute consent), provide victims’ advocates, teach incoming freshmen about consent during orientation, and not punish victims for underage drinking when they come forward.

I don’t know why there’s a chunk of people who are invested in claiming this is an outrage — OK, I have some ideas, and they mainly have to do with fairly predictable pushback to social change. The bill has had its critics, as has the idea of affirmative or active consent in general. Here’s why this bill (now law!) is by no means an outrage: Keep reading »

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