Last week, I wrote an “Open Letter to Mayor Bloomberg,” informing him he had no right to tell me how much Coca-Cola I am allowed to consume. After many comments about me sounding like “a high school drama queen” and telling me to “calm down,” I felt very discouraged, and even doubtful about my writing in general.
While I did get a few positive reviews, I soon realized that many commenters did not understand the tongue-in-cheek tone I tried to embody, and I decided to carefully read through each comment in effort to learn from what everyone had to say, even the nastier toned ones. Even if you don’t write on the internet and don’t regularly have strangers critiquing your words, we all face criticism of some sort on a daily basis — here’s how I learned to get the most out of it. Keep reading »
“You must think he’s better looking than me,” Brian said, motioning to our waiter.
Brian started most conversations this way. I shifted my gaze and looked intently at my menu, pretending to study it, just to avoid continuing this conversation — a conversation I was no longer interested in having.
Brian was a guy I’d met leaving a party on a cold January night. He was cute and we exchanged numbers. We hung out a few days later, and thankfully he was just as appealing. Our conversations were entertaining. He got my offbeat sense of humor, and I admired his fierce loyalty to his family.
At the beginning of our fourth date, the first 20 minutes of which were spent sitting in his car, he began inundating me with questions. Keep reading »
I read Kate Fridkis’ recent essay about small boobs with a mix of fascination and envy. As someone who’s had double Ds since junior high, the small boob experience is totally foreign to me, although I’ve wished for smaller boobs on many occasions. Large breasts are idolized in pop culture, but the experience of actually walking around with two watermelons attached to your chest? Well, sometimes it’s awesome, and sometimes it’s decidedly not awesome. Here’s why… Keep reading »
What would you do if you wound up single on what was to be one of the most special days of your life—your wedding day? My friend Desiree did something remarkable and revolutionary: instead of hiding away, she marched boldly into a proud new future, and in the process became an inspiration to me and, hopefully, some of you as well.
On a recent Sunday, when I would have been attending her wedding to a man, I stood on Bow Bridge in Central Park and witnessed Desiree get married—to herself. A circle of her friends surrounded her while her cousin officiated, reciting vows she had written for herself, which included the lines, “I will make my happiness a priority and forgive myself when I’m not perfect. I will trust myself and stand within the power of my own strength. I will love myself forever more, through good and bad, thick and thin, and for exactly who I am today. I promise I will never, ever, ever, settle for less than what my heart and soul desire.”
Keep reading »
Five years ago I had an “ideal” body.
I don’t mean to say that my body was free of imperfections, but rather that I had a body that most women are taught to believe is close to perfect: I was 5” 5’, weighed barely 115 pounds, and wore a size 2. I had a tiny waist, medium-sized breasts, a taut stomach, round bottom, and cellulite that was practically nonexistent. I was extremely slender, yet still somehow carried a feminine hourglass figure. I could never have been a contestant on “America’s Next Top Model,” but for a perfectly normal girl I had a perfectly enviable body.
Flash forward five years. Though I don’t own a scale, I’m probably 20 pounds heavier thanks to a slower metabolism, college drinking and a dire love of cheese. I now wear a size 6, my waist isn’t quite so minuscule, my stomach jiggles, I have cellulite swimming on my thighs, and I have ample junk in my apple-bottom trunk. My breasts have gotten ever-so-slightly bigger, but for every tiny bit that they’ve grown, my ass and thighs grew 10 times that … leaving me much more of a pear than an hourglass. Keep reading »
Every winter, I pack on about 15 pounds. I live in Minneapolis, which means that my city may be blanketed in snow from early-November through mid-May, and all that dark, oppressive, endlessly cold weather makes vigorous exercise and light, healthful foods seem about as appealing as major dental work.
But despite the fact that my weight fluctuates year after year, I don’t diet. Despite the fact that I’ve got cellulite and a poochy belly and fairly big hips for my frame, I don’t diet. Despite the fact that I spent my entire adolescence and young adult life actively hating my body and attempting to hide inside my clothing, I don’t diet. Because for one thing, few diets work permanently, with lost weight often regained within a year. And for another, I don’t believe that there is one acceptably beautiful body shape or figure. And finally, I’ve found a far better way to help myself look and feel good than attempting to diet my body into submission: I dress to my figure. Keep reading »
For years after my ex and I broke up, I used to like to play this game where I’d compare myself to him. This was not a fun game. He had just written a bestselling novel, was living with his girlfriend, and bought a house. I felt like he had really “made it” in every way that mattered – career, relationship, and home. But after all this time I was still struggling and still single. Failing, it felt like. A failure. Keep reading »
Hello there. You. Yes, you! I have something I would like to talk to you about.
It’s come up a couple of times recently and it’s gotten so irritating that I finally have to say something about it. I’m pretty sure you’re not even aware of what you’re doing or why it bothers me. So here it goes.
I would like you to ask me out on a freaking date. Keep reading »
“These are the things I’m addicted to: bronzer, boys, and alcohol.”
That’s a quote from Snooki of “Jersey Shore” fame, but it could just as easily be something I said. Last night’s episode actually, gulp, struck a cord with me. In Snooki, I saw myself. A shorter, drunker, less well-read version of myself, but still. Snooki, like me, is searching for love and sometimes drinks to excess to mask the insecurities she has about not finding it. Keep reading »
Look, college kids don’t want your sex or your junk food — they just want some love. A new paper from researchers at Ohio State University found that college students prefer an ego boost to sex. Sex? Really? When given the choice between a self-esteem boosting activity (like getting a compliment) or “receiving a paycheck, seeing a best friend and drinking alcohol, in addition to eating a favorite food, [and] engaging in a favorite sexual activity,” most chose self-esteem. Part of why self-esteem may be so desired: drugs, alcohol and sex are readily available on college campuses, but self-esteem is one of those intangibles that is a bit harder for kids to grasp.
It’s interesting research, especially given how today’s college generation is touted as being more self-absorbed than previous generations. What do you think? Would you pick a compliment over sex? [NY Times] Keep reading »