Tag Archives: condoms

The Inevitable Happened: Anthony Weiner Condoms

Rep. Anthony Weiner‘s staff has the same concern as men afraid of clap: protecting their Weiners, er, wieners. The latter group can protect themselves with these distasteful but nevertheless amusing $4.95 Weiner condoms. Ten points to the perv who thought to buy the domain name for “weiner condoms.” [Weiner Condoms via Jezebel] Keep reading »

Will.i.am Won’t Date A Woman Who Keeps Condoms In Her House

[I would know a woman and I were not compatible] if she had condoms in her house, that would just f**kin’ throw me off. That’s just tacky.

– Will.i.am on his dating dealbreakers in Elle. Excuse me? And again, excuse me! How is it tacky to have condoms in your house? It means you are a responsible woman who protects herself. How could that possibly be a turn off? Wouldn’t that be reassuring? Ohhhh, wait … I get it. Women who keep condoms in their houses are sluts. And Will.i.am is not looking for a slut. He’s looking for a virgin who uses baby wipes. That’s another one of his dealbreakers by the way — if she doesn’t have baby wipes in her bathroom. Let’s get angry about his statement in the comments. It will make me feel better. [Celebitchy] Keep reading »

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20 Famous Folks You Can Have Sex With Tonight (Thanks To These Celebrity-Branded Condoms)

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Is “have sex with a celebrity” on your bucket list? Here’s an easy — albeit it cheating — way to achieve that goal: bone a commoner with a celebrity-branded condom! Strangely, there are oh-so-many to choose from. The latest to join endorse wrapping it up with a jimmy hat? The band KISS! Get down safely using the protection of Gene Simmons’ unfurling tongue. Sexy? [The Mary Sue]

If aging rock stars are more of a turn-off than a turn-on for you, don’t fret. As I mentioned, there are many,many celebs who’ve had their famous mugs put on condom packaging. Keep clicking to check out what other celebs you can have safe sex with, thanks to these celebrity-branded rubbers.

Get Yer Ke$ha Condoms

“If you come to a live show, it’s a sensory assault. You will leave covered in sweat, beer, glitter, and, just maybe, you’ll get a special edition Ke$ha condom. If it breaks, you have to name your daughter or son after me.”

Ke$ha tells the BBC that at upcoming concerts, 10,000 specialty Ke$ha condoms will be fired out of cannon at the audience. The condoms are made by Lifestyles and have the word “cannibal” printed on the wrapper. I think we know who to blame if ‘Ke$ha’ shoots to the top of the most popular baby name list in 2011. Oh, and if Aquafresh starts making a whiskey flavored toothpaste in Ke$ha’s honor, I am outta here. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

With Royal Wedding Condoms, British Taxpayers Won’t Be The Only Ones Getting Screwed!

Royal wedding memorabilia has reached a new level of tastelessness: Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction is selling Prince William and Kate Middleton-themed condoms! Instructing randy Brits to “lie back and think of England” because “like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion,” the condoms are sold in royal purple packages with a picture of the happy couple on the front. But some folks are not amused. “This is completely tasteless and rather hurtful,” Ingrid Deward, editor of Majesty magazine, told Orange News. “Prince William has a great sense of humor but this is a step too far.” Alas, Crown Jewels warns customers their condoms are only “heirloom products” and do not actually protect you against pregnancy or STDs. Maybe you could hang them on the wall next to your royal wedding heirloom plate that says “It should have been me!” [Orange] Keep reading »

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