Of course J&D Foods, the company responsible for baconlube and bacon shaving cream, have made bacon condoms. Not only do they smell and taste like pork, when you put them on, your penis looks like a strip of bacon. So basically, every inch of your business will be transformed into a greasy, smoked meat stick. If that last sentence turned you on whatsoever, you can buy a three-pack of bacon condoms for $9.99. But really? Do people like bacon that much? Help me understand please. [LA Times]
Only in Japan would ice cream that you eat out of a condom exist. You just snip the “Egg Ice Cream” tip and the sweet treat shoots out like a geyser. You can watch an innuendo laden tutorial of how to eat condom ice cream courtesy of college students Sharla and Mira. Whatever you do, don’t try this in public. Or at home, unless you don’t mind ice cream spuge all over your keyboard. Let me just say that this is the only time in the history of ever that ice cream has seemed unappetizing to me. [YouTube]
Researchers at the University of Washington have developed the technology to create the all-purpose condom of the future. This new kind of female condom, made of “electrospinning” micro-fibers, will protect against pregnancy, release anti-HIV medicine (or other STI preventatives), and then, get this … just dissolve over a period of days, or even minutes. Here’s how the researchers describe the “electrospinning” technology:
“Electrospinning uses an electric field to catapult a charged fluid jet through air to create very fine, nanometer-scale fibers. The fibers can be manipulated to control the material’s solubility, strength and even geometry. Because of this versatility, fibers may be better at delivering medicine than existing technologies such as gels, tablets, or pills.”
Holy amazing! I’m far from a scientist, but I think this means they load the fibers with spermicide, anti-retrovirals so that they release within you and then just breakdown in your body. In the scientific abstract that you can read here, the researchers working on this project say that they are hopeful that similar technology can “serve as an innovative platform for drug technology for drug delivery to the lower female reproductive tract.” Really exciting stuff. [io9]
It happened in Florida. A toddler sucked on a used condom on a playground and may have gonorrhea, or even HIV, because of it. I’m not even going to make a Florida joke right now because this story is so thoroughly disturbing.
Teisha Sanders has filed a lawsuit against the Jacksonville Urban League, which runs her three-year-old daughter’s Head Start daycare program. Sanders claims that her daughter found a used condom on the daycare’s playground and sucked on it.
“I lift up my head and I saw her put something in her mouth and I was like, ‘get that out of your mouth!’ And someone said see what she had in her mouth and that’s when I found out she had a condom in her mouth,” explained Sanders. Keep reading »
I am a woman 33 years of age who practices safe sex. But it wasn’t always that way. As a woman of 19, 20 and 21, I was in no uncertain terms an idiot where safe sex was concerned. Sometimes I forced a guy to wear a condom, sometimes I didn’t.
But that all changed when I hit 22.For it was at this stage that I that I met a man in a bar, went home with him, had sex with him. And not just any man. This man was drummed up in a dive bar. He was covered in tattoos, and I’m quite sure his continued trips to the bathroom were cocaine-related. When we got back to his place I quickly discovered that he owned a pet iguana, a leathery little thing named Juan who he allowed to roam free around his East Village bedroom. I had condom-less sex with this gentleman, and spent the whole of the next day convinced his myriad STIs were coursing through my system.
Now: I know you can’t judge a book by its cover. I know that just because a man is covered in tattoos and owns a pet iguana and has a whiff of the cocaine addict about him, that doesn’t mean that he’s got chlamydia. BUT … Keep reading »
This weekend, the worst thing ever happened. And by the worst thing ever, I mean a used condom landed on top of my cell phone.
O’Boyfriend and I were, uhhhh, using a condom. And then we were done using the condom. And then because I didn’t want it or its contents spilling on my bedsheets, I suggested he throw it in the wastepaper basket. So LeBron James over here tossed it in the direction of the trash … and it landed on top of my iPhone. Keep reading »
I always laughed when, in middle school, my friends worried about getting tampons stuck inside of them. I was the first to brush off any fear that anything could actually get stuck inside your vagina. I mean, how could you not know if something is up in there? However, I have been converted – a vagina can be a cavernous hiding spot for all sorts of paraphernalia. Somehow, unbeknownst to me, I once got a condom lost inside my vagina for days. Yes, days. Keep reading »
Target market: Men who come early. This Turkish Durex condom ad is especially for the one-and-a-half pump chumps of the world. That was said with total compassion, by the way. Everybody gets a little overexcited sometimes. I wonder what the “delaying effect” is … A numbing lubricant? Or maybe the condoms are so thick that the man can’t feel anything. [Buzzfeed]