“Ninety percent of the time when I go on dates, I’m by myself thinking, I could be reading my book instead,” Zosia Mamet, who plays the naive one on “Girls” (and the lesbian-ish one on “Mad Men”), said last week on “Conan.” Oh, honey. We know. We have been there. Oh, have we been there. The next step is that you go on a date and find yourself missing your cat. [Team Coco]
Conan O’Brien debuted several new dog breeds on last night’s show, including my personal favorite, the Porcupup — a doggie mixed with a porcupine. Watch out for my friend Todd, carrying the Long-Bearded Chihuahua. I don’t know how you can keep a straight face with one of those in your arms. [Buzzfeed]
The best part about the Girl Scouts’ dramatic unmasking by a Republican lawmaker in Indiana as a “tactical arm of Planned Parenthood” is that the Scouts can now be honest about all their delicious cookie offerings. [Team Coco]
Jenny Slate is one of our favorite comediennes and we’re huge fans of her Marcel the Shell character. This past week, she was on “Conan” and discussed the origin of the magical Marcel voice — which is almost as creepy as it is cute — and the amazing viral videos that have turned Marcel into a star. Marcel is also a book, titled Marcel the Shell With Shoes On: Things About Me, and there are other characters featured, with other voices inspired by Jenny’s grandmas. Watch as she demonstrates. [Team Coco]
“They put me with an ex-Mossad [Israeli Secret Service Agent]] … He put a GPS on my car and jumped me out of a hair salon. He gave me a blue gun, and so any time we saw a blue gun … if he jumped us out of any place, we’d have to pull the blue gun, and if we didn’t pull it before the other guy did then we lost. And I lost. He wanted to kidnap me, but Steven Soderbergh said that was a little excessive.”
– Women’s MMA champ Gina Carano, on how director Steven Soderbergh trained her for her role in his new film “Haywire,” in which she plays a double-crossed agent. Steven Soderbergh, you crazy for this one. She also told Conan O’Brien that cage fighting was like having sex. “If you think about it, it’s a very real interaction between to human beings. It’s an energy that nobody else is going to share,” she said. Though hopefully sex involves less punching. [Team Coco]
Leave it to Mindy Kaling to make meeting former President Bill Clinton on “The Today Show” sound adorable. And also leave it to Mindy Kaling to suggest she thought she could be Bill’s type because she’s “a little chunky.” That’s one way to look at it. [Team Coco]
Watch Conan O’Brien surprise a staffer with a Jon Hamm sneak attack as a Secret Santa present. All I could think about when I was watching this was, Oh my god, imagine if I worked at Conan … and he was my Secret Santa … I would have been surprised with Ryan Gosling! And then I was sort of sad. Sigh. [Team Coco]
Last night, Conan O’Brien, who has been in New York City all week taping his show, officiated the first same-sex marriage on late night television. In front of a studio audience at the Beacon Theater, he wed the show’s costume designer Scott Cronick and his partner David Gorshein; Bravo’s Andy Cohen walked Cronick down the aisle. “Conan” is usually filmed in California, where gay marriage is not legal, hence the decision to wed Cronick and Gorshein in New York, which legalized same-sex marriage under the Marriage Equality Act in July of this year. I didn’t expect to be teary — this is “Conan” after all — but damn if I didn’t need a tissue. [Team Coco]
You’d think Anne Hathaway would be happy with hosting the Oscars and getting nominated once herself. But no, that bitch is hungry for more! Watch her secret “Jersey Shore” audition tape here, as well as the ones by Paul Rudd and Dennis Haysbert. And please, wear a bikini in the hot tub. [Team Coco]
