Every few years some enterprising publisher knocks off the world’s most famous “how to change yourself to get a man to love you” book, The Rules (which itself knocks off Fascinating Womanhood). We know what condescending “rules” these books teach: men are simple, men are visual creatures, don’t nag them or they turn into little boys, men like to “chase.” The #1 rule is generally a version of be “Put away your penis!”, as Patti Stanger might say.
The 2011 incarnation is The Man Whisperer: A Gentle, Results-Oriented Approach To Communication, a book about “a new method of communication” called (duh) Man Whispering. Penned by “dating experts” Donna Sozio and Samantha Brett, I want to say it’s like The Rules on steroids, but really it’s like The Rules after a few too many Cosmos: Whoever wrote this must have been drunk. Did I say Cosmos? Scratch that. Four Lokos.
So, I bravely fished The Man Whisperer out of the The Frisky’s “books to donate” pile and got reading. Here’s what I learned: Keep reading »
Do you have a standard email sign-off you use like “Thanks,” “Cheers,” or “Best”? Do you change your sign-offs for business emails? I tend to stick with the ol’ XOXO or my first initial (or both) in my personal emails with close friends and use “Thanks” or very occasionally “Cheers” in my business emails. I almost always use “Love” as a sign-off when emailing with my mom, because that’s the sign-off she uses and I like to let her know it’s reciprocated (we aren’t big on saying the “L” word out loud in my family, so it’s nice to sneak it in in an email). And when I email with Dear Wendy letter writers, I use “All the best” as a sign-off because I really do wish them the best. The New York Times published an article recently about email sign-offs — the anxiety they can cause for people and the messages they often send. For example, signing off with “XOXO” might give the wrong message to a co-worker. Thank God I read the Times or I may never have realized this. What other messages might you be sending in your email sign-off?
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It strikes me as interesting that a short but sweet essay on the benefits of having a sister, called “Why Sisterly Chats Make People Happier,” has been one of the most popular articles on The New York Times website for over a week. The essay is in response to a recent Brigham Young University study which claims that men who have sisters are happier than those who don’t. The essay’s author, linguist Deborah Tannen, expands the discussion to theorize that this is because women, and thus sisters, are more talkative, so they are better at communicating … Keep reading »
It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “First-Timer” who wrote to me way back in January when her first serious relationship started floundering after three years and communication with her boyfriend took a nosedive. “I know we both have busy schedules and recently, fewer opportunities to see each other, but I’m beginning to wonder if I’m being selfish in thinking that he could do more in keeping us connected in these times when we’re apart,” she wrote. Keep reading »
I’m not even going to pretend that I understand the first thing about men. They remain a mystery to me and I have no choice but to love them for that. But every now and then they say stuff that truly baffles us. After the jump, Frisky staffers share the strangest things dudes have said to them. What were they thinking? If you have any insight, please offer your interpretations because we don’t have a clue. Or feel free to chime in with your own offerings.
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Getting what you want out of your sex life can be extraordinarily difficult for the simple reason that there’s another human being involved (usually). Not many of us are gifted communicators, much less communicators of sexual wants and desires, who can be inoffensive and still get what we want; however, there are a few basic rules of expressing yourself sexually that you could all do with learning. Read more … Keep reading »
Let’s be honest: every relationship has a moment—OK, a lot of moments—where one person just wants the other person to shut up. Whether it’s in the middle of a fight or just during a stressful moment, the sound of the other person’s voice is just bothering you.
But saying “shut up,” as we all learned in grade school, is just rude. Relationships thrive on kindness and telling your partner to “shut up” is about as disrespectful as you can get. So, how to you get your boo to cease and desist talking/nagging/complaining while still showing some respect? Keep reading »
Has your life gone haywire in the last week? Communications amiss? People from the past randomly showing up? Feel like you might be losing your mind, as no one you know seems to make any sense to you any more? Fret not, it’s not you: It’s the universe! Yes, blame the cosmos, as Mercury, the planet of communication, halts and appears to go backwards, causing all sorts of chaos on mankind.
Frightfully, this bizarre phenomenon happens three times a year and, fortunately, this will be the last time in ’09. It officially began at 2:39 pm UT (Universal Time) on Saturday, Dec. 26 and lasts until Jan. 15, though the effects can be felt up until Feb. 4. What does this mean? In general, it means a period of pandemonium for all things regarding communication. That’s right, forget trying to make any major decisions — and definitely don’t sign any contracts (unless the deal comes from someone in the past or it is renewing), back up your software, expect problems with travel and don’t rely on any of the information you get at this time. Keep reading »
Whether you’re starting a new relationship or already married, there are some things that don’t change, like the need to feel sexy, appreciated and needed. And it’s not just women who want these things — men do too! Below are seven things you can say to a man, at any stage of your love life, that will leave him glowing. Keep reading »
Wouldn’t it be amazing if you knew how the person you are talking to is processing your conversation?
NLP eye accessing cues can provide an enormous amount of insight into someone’s preferred method of processing information. NLP (Neuro-Lingustic Programming) was developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970′s and is modeled on the gestalt therapies by Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson. Though NLP is a controversial form of psychological therapy, it incorporates some interesting techniques that can assist in more effective methods of communication. Many of the techniques encourage becoming aware of various postures, behaviors, and physical cues that clue one into a person’s internal mental process. These are a few NLP techniques to better understand what exactly is going on inside the mind of that person you are talking to or observing. Continue reading… Keep reading »