Tag Archives: commitment

Girl Talk: I Always Ask The Big Questions

Can you see yourself with him forever? I asked myself just, oh, the other day.Yes. Yes I can. I had asked this question of myself a few months ago too, but about someone else. The answer was the same. And about six months before that. Same question, same answer. Did I mention I’m currently single?

This week, I read Dater X’s latest column with great interest. The idea that maybe we should be asking ourselves bigger questions — “Can I see myself marrying/spending my life with this person?” — about the people we date is not a foreign concept to me. I ask myself that question almost right away with nearly every single person I date; and, with a few exceptions, my subconscious usually answers “yes.” At least at first. Keep reading »

The 9 Types Of Pre-Exclusive Relationships

One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be “If they’re not your significant other, than what the hell are they?” Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don’t have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here’s a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Can Men Smell It When A Woman Is Suddenly Unavailable?

So, you know, I have a boyfriend now. It’s pretty awesome. I’m psyched. I’m happy. I must be radiating blissfully coupled up vibes into the stratosphere because in the last two days, three dudes with whom I have had serious romantic feelings for, hooked up with and/or dated have come out of the woodwork after a lengthy absence and have tried to bark up my tree. It’s like Cupid’s Evil Cousin whispered in their ears, “Amelia is happy, fulfilled, and no longer interested in dating or DTF — don’t you suddenly want to give her a shout?” Keep reading »

Why Smart Women Fail At Relationships

When I first met my husband Noah ten years ago, if you had met me, you would have thought to yourself, “Now here is a smart woman. She’s getting her M.B.A, great job, confident. Here is a woman with tons of self esteem.” And you would have been right. That was all true. Which is why what I am about to tell you is even more shocking.

By our third date, Noah was so taken aback by my big reactions towards his small acts of kindness, that he felt compelled to take me by the hands and say to me, “Christine, I don’t know what is going to happen between the two of us, but regardless, you have to raise your standards for men. You can’t like a man because he is nice to you. He is SUPPOSED to be nice to you!” Keep reading »

Top 10 Surprising Ways To Get A Guy To Commit

At first, dating expert Rori Raye’s ideas about how to get a man to commit seemed counter-intuitive: Don’t be his girlfriend? Don’t try to win him over? But then we realized this: Rori wants us to get a man to commit by being our most authentic selves, which, in turn, allows men to be their most authentic selves. And that makes a lot of sense.

These tips are only the beginning. If you want more of Rori’s wisdom check out her blog and newsletter, “Have The Relationship You Want,” where she goes into much more detail. Keep reading »

What Does It Mean For A Relationship To “Work”?

My Tuesday evening ritual consists of the following: an hour and a half of yoga and meditation, followed by a hot bubble bath, in which I either drink a glass of wine or eat a Haagen-Daz Coffee Crunch ice cream bar, while wearing a mud mask and lisening to Dan Savage‘s Savage Love podcast. I highly recommend this entire evening routine. It makes the following day, Hump Day, that much easier. Keep reading »

10 Things You Lose When You Commit

Commitment seems like a great idea. You make your relationship more official and share your life with someone who’s not going to leave by the time morning arrives. But with any big idea, there are pros and cons attached to it. With commitment comes benefits, yes, but there’re also risks. It’ll do you good to think of what you stand to lose before you take the leap.

Here’s our Top 10 things that are likely to get tossed on the fire when you commit. Read more… Keep reading »

Is Monogamy On Its Way Out For Young Couples?

I’ve questioned monogamy for quite a while now, but a new study shows that young people are seriously confused by it. Researchers studied more than 400 married and unmarried couples ages 18 to 25 and found that 40 percent of them disagreed about whether or not they were exclusive with their partners — even if they had supposedly agreed. Of the 60 percent of couples who agreed they were on the same page about their exclusivity, 30 percent admitted to cheating. That means that only about 30 percent of young couples are actually practicing monogamy. Married couples were more likely to be exclusive, while couples with children were less likely. The stats speak for themselves. Time to reevaluate our idea of monogamy? I think so. [Live Science] Keep reading »

Lamar Odom Demystifies Male Commitment Phobia

“Men, most of the time our goal is to have what we want when it comes to women … Most men like more than one woman. A lot of them would not want to admit that because that might not be cool, right? Most people don’t want to get married. Being married, that’s a responsibility. I always used to tell that to women. I don’t want a girlfriend because that means I’ve got a responsibility. I have a responsibility to call you. I have a responsibility not to be with another woman. I have a responsibility to be there on time when you need me. With her I was like, If I do what I normally do, I’m going to lose her. And if I lose her, I think it’s going to hurt a lot. Right then and there I knew. We were together every day.”

Lamar Odom in Playboy on how he knew Khloe Kardashian was the lady he wanted to commit to. This makes more sense to me than most explanations men have given in the past about why commitment is so difficult for them. I think perhaps men look at responsibility in a more black and white way than women do. Part of being a woman, for me, is being accustomed to juggling my responsibilities and knowing that they change and evolve as I do. I don’t see having another person in my life as a responsibility, I see it as a gift. And I don’t need to be threatened with losing someone to realize it. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Abandoned Me. Should I Move On?

I’m 31 and had been in a very loving, fun, and supportive relationship with my guy for almost two years and living together for a little over a year. He started talking about marriage and getting engaged about a year into our relationship, and I was so excited at the prospect of being his partner for life. But months passed by, and it became clear that he was homesick for his family. Even though they’re only a two-hour plane ride away, he had been depressed for the last six months about being away from home, and told me that if we married, it would mean he was choosing to never live in the same town as his family again. I told him I’d be happy as long as we were together, but he kept saying “I don’t think you’ll be happy there.” About a week ago when I came home from work, I found that he had moved out of the apartment we shared and had driven back to his home town to be with his family, and merely left a note! What kind of person does that sort of thing? To make matters worse, he called me once he arrived at his hometown and said (while sobbing uncontrollably) he wasn’t ready to break up and wanted a month to think about things. Part of me loves him so much that I want to give him the time he asked for. The rational side of me says, “This jerk abandoned you. Even if he wanted to work things out, are you really going to let him do this to you again?” I’m so torn. Should I just end it now and move on? — Shocked and Awed

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