Sure, you’ve heard of doing a “number one” or a “number two,” but did you know that babies also occasionally do a “number three”? According to this Australian ad for BabyLove diapers, “poop explosions” require a special kind of swaddling. Eww. I am going to email this to my newly pregnant friend now. [Ad Freak]

I’m not exactly proud of it, but there was a time in my life when the mere mention of the name Vanilla Ice would make my pulse quicken. That time was 1990, when I wore out my cassette of To The Extreme. A few years later, Vanilla was a musical footnote who made the perfect subject for a tearjerker episode of “Behind The Music.” I respected him a few years back when he broke out with his hardcore band and gave us an angstier version of “Ice Ice Baby.” But now, Vanilla has cropped up in this beer commercial in South Africa. This makes me very sad—I mean, he’s even reverted back to his M.C. Hammer-wannabe style, complete with sequins. Well, at least he’s not doing vanilla ice cream ads? Breyers, you’ll have to pay me for that idea. [BuzzFeed]

It took me a little while to figure out what the hell was going on in this ad for German clothing company Van Rosen, but now I get it! This guy and this girl are getting it on, but then he gets a phone call. So, while he is detained, she humps his pants, because they are just that sexy, and then later on, after she’s left, he gets to smell them. Hot? [Copyranter]

Earlier this week, I was watching “Gossip Girl,” and during a commercial break, an ad for Target came on. I’m not really sure what the Bullseye was promoting though, because all I could focus on were the words being sung in the background. “One day I woke up, and there was more to love…” I quickly jotted down a few lines from the lyrics, then turned to my computer and Googled the phrases. A couple minutes later, after scrolling through a page or two of search results, I found what I was looking for: “More to Luv” by Minnutes.

I’ve got a soft spot for this lingerie commercial for New Zealand-based brand HOTmilk (I know, unfortunate name). The sexy line of underthings is targeted at pregnant women and is about “empowering women, to remind them that they are beautiful confident and SEXY,” even when their stomachs are stretched to epic proportions and their nipples are leaking. While I agree with Broadsheet that we should be celebrating the beauty of the pregnant female form through other means than expensive lingerie, I think it’s refreshing to see a sexy commercial where a woman’s swollen belly is on full display and a hot sexy man is losing his s**t over it. [Broadsheet]

It’s hard to believe it’s been over 20 years since I suffered through awkward sex-ed videos of swimming, talking sperm and dancing ovaries in junior high. Feeling a little nostalgic, I did a search for “vintage sex ed” on YouTube this morning and found this gem from the ‘70s. Poor Ricky! Not only does his mom walk in on him at the most inopportune time, she proceeds to ruin any chance he might have to “feel good” in the future. Then again, as her voice plays back at the end, it’s hard not to wonder if maybe she didn’t just give him more fodder for the job…

Just in time for hump day, we found this sexy vid for an afternoon delight: track star Nick Symmonds getting naked for Nike. OK, so I totally have a thing for men in their little running shorts, but these marketing experts have proven that even less than that is more. Belle and Sebastian are right: Stars of track and field are beautiful people. [WOW]

“Thank God us wifeys are around to take care of our doofy husbands, or else they’d kill the entire family over a bowl of popcorn!” We love you, Sarah Haskins!

Okay, so this is never the way I feel when I have my period, regardless of what menstrual product I’m using. But I gotta give Tampax credit for this super cute commercial.

Have you seen that commercial with Brooke Shields hawking that new prescription eyelash cream? Poor Brooke! First she waited until she was 22 to have sex because she felt fat or too tall or whatever, then she had the postpartum depression, and now we learn how she’s endured unthinkable life-long trauma because of “inadequate” eyelashes. Thank God for Latisse, the world’s first FDA-approved prescription treatment for such an ailment!

In April, Brad Pitt taped a commercial with a sumo wrestler, and now it’s out. Brad plays the assistant to a sumo wrestler in this Spike Jonze-directed ad for Japanese SoftBank, a telecommunications company. We think the commercial is probably trying to say, “We’ll support you no matter what, even if we have to do the seemingly impossible, like carry a 300+ pound man when his flip-flop breaks.”

Yesterday, as I was flipping through People, I came across an advertisement that scared me to death. What was it marketing? Feminine hygiene products, of course. Because, I mean, what could be scarier than a period?! The Always Infinity ad features a dangerous tornado-like whirlpool swirling ominously into a gigantic maxi pad. A pad that, apparently, has the power to absorb ten times its weight— “so your heavy days won’t spin you out of control.” (If you care to see the full, 3-D, moving visual, check it out here.)

Now that we’re all going bare-legged, it’s extra funny to see football great Joe Namath in a pair of pantyhose. This commercial is a classic. But, seriously, Joe, you got a great lookin’ set of gams. Enjoy the leg show—and your Memorial Day—ladies!

We had long wondered what kind of girl the personification of a Mac computer would go for—and now we know. A new commercial pits Mac (Justin Long) against PC (John Hodgman) as they try to win a woman’s attention. Since it’s a Mac commercial, Mac wins. Who is this mystery lady? Says she: “I’m a Megan.”

Nicole Kidman stars as a princess en route to an Indian palace in the above “mini-movie” commercial for Schweppes, which also features Bollywood actor Arjun Rampal as her love interest and Rubina Ali in a supporting role. Produced by Ridley Scott and directed by Shekhar Kapur, who directed “Elizabeth” and “Elizabeth: The Golden Age,” this extended ad is one example of a new advertising trend being used in the age of TiVo and DVR. Other companies have produced short movies with hired big-name talent and directors to promote a brand, but it’s generally a technique used to evoke a luxury lifestyle. Schweppes seems a little low-end to go this advertising route, which has been used by Prada, Dior, and Chanel. Click through for more film-like advertisements. Do these extended, big-budget commercials make you want to purchase the product? Or are they just another quick form of entertainment? Let us know in the comments.

Anne Hathaway is the celebrity star of Lancôme’s new commercial for Magnifique perfume, but the location is the real star. The ad was filmed at The Box, New York City’s infamous cabaret. A man whispers to Anne, who goes onstage and performs a sensual scarf dance. Compared to what really goes on at The Box, Anne’s tease is tame.

Fast food commercials continue to get raunchier and raunchier. Arby’s “me likey” commercial was kind of funny because it alluded to sex but didn’t actually involve any. The sex-talking Quizno’s oven was kind of creepy because it brought sex and fast food closer together. Now, White Castle’s Pulled Pork Sandwich grosses us out. Barbecue sauce all over a plushy costume? Someone’s going to have to explain what happened to the dry cleaner.

Representative Jim Moran has a problem with erectile dysfunction. We’re not sure whether he suffers from ED, but he doesn’t like those TV ads for Viagra and Cialis. Last month, this Virginia democrat introduced a bill that would prohibit any ED ads from airing on broadcast radio and TV between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m. because they’re “indecent.” Moran says he has had a number of people tell him they’re tired of having to explain to their young kids what erectile dysfunction is whenever one of the commercials comes on TV. One CNN.com reader commented that the ads don’t just make for uncomfortable conversations with children: “It is not only for the children and young people, but it is also embarrassing for mixed company adults. Not only is it embarrassing, those love scenes of planned sex have made me sick of sex.” Keep reading to watch a sampling of ED ads, then tell us whether they make you squirm. [CNN]

Not only is Audrey Tautou playing Coco Chanel in the new biopic “Coco Avant Chanel,” but she’s also the face of the Chanel No. 5 perfume. The luxury brand has released a short film commercial starring Audrey and directed by the man behind “Amélie,” Jean-Pierre Jeunet. The film has a similar feeling to “Amélie,” with its saturated colors and subtle quirkiness, but it’s a little cheesy. Plus, isn’t it some kind of conflict of interest to have Audrey representing the brand and playing the fashion house’s matriarch in a film around the same time?

Chanel certainly does like to do movie tie-ins with its No. 5 ads. Before Audrey, Nicole Kidman was the face of the classic perfume. Her commercial for the infamous perfume bore a striking resemblance to the famous woman/poor man story line in “Moulin Rouge” and was directed by that film’s Baz Luhrmann. But the film had been out for a few years by the time the commercial aired, so it seemed like less of a conflict than Audrey’s. At least Audrey’s new Chanel No. 5 ad isn’t directed by the same person who did “Coco Avant Chanel.” Then, we’d really have issues.

Brad Pitt picks up some extra dough filming a commercial for Japanese Softbank with a sumo wrestler. Hey, everyone’s gotta make a buck. [NYC, 4/30/09]