For the most part, I’m super excited when one of my friends gets engaged. Good for them, finding the person of their dreams and shit. But what if your friend gets engaged to someone terrible? How are you supposed to respond to that? Because telling her how you really feel — “Do you really want to make the biggest mistake of your life?!” — is out of the question, and staring at her outstretched, blinged-out hand in horror would be, you know, rude, comedienne Sasheer Zamata has some suggestions for how to respond, without lying, when your pal tells you she’s marrying some douchebag. Step 7, “Gestures and Sounds,” will probably be my go-to. [The Hairpin]
Scientists at the University of Edinburgh designed the first ever computer capable of producing jokes on command. Only problem: their PC wasn’t so PC. Following the lead of successful, male comedians, the software was programed to make a statement followed by an unexpected comment. The computer’s algorithm finds unlikely word pairings and makes a connection between them in the form of a one-liner. David Matthews (a computer scientist who helped develop the virtual joke maker, not the guy with the same name who fronts the band) said when they tested the jokes on volunteers — wonderful witticisms such as: “I like my men like I like my court … superior” and “I like my women like I like my gas … natural” — they laughed, but not as much as if a real comedian were delivering the sexist joke. Obviously. Keep reading »
I support a woman’s right to safe, legal abortion because centuries of history shows us that women are going to get abortions whether they’re safe and legal or not. And when they’re not safe and legal, these women will often die terribly or be damaged irreparably. In my fantasy utopia, there would be no abortion. There’d be contraception readily available and there’d be education geared toward preventing unwanted pregnancies. Adoption would be easier. We don’t live in a utopia, however. We live in a country where scoundrels are certain and nuance is vilified. … I don’t know how to look at those who’d restrict or deny access to abortion, contraception and abortion and not see misogyny. Not sexism; that’s a gender neutral word. Misogyny is the hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women. It’s an ugly word and it represents an ugly thing. And Good God, is it lazy. And disingenuous. And it is the warm and welcoming home to the idea that a pregnant woman who doesn’t want to take her pregnancy to term should not have access to a safe and legal abortion.
– Comic Rob Delaney is someone I always see my friends retweeting for his 140-character long jokes. Turns out, he’s also passionate about a women’s right to choose as well. In his essay on the UK’s Guardian, Delaney explains how he has two children with his wife and although he personally believes abortion is a scary thing, he can’t imagine forcing women to go through nine months of pregnancy and childbirth. Not only that, but he names the mistrust of women making their own self-determining decisions as what it is: misogyny. Well said, sir. I do appreciate it when men can speak about feminist issues and maybe reach people that wouldn’t otherwise be exposed to the ideas. [Guardian UK] [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
James Franco has announced that James Franco will be the subject of the next Comedy Central Roast. A roast, if you’re not familiar, is basically where a bunch of comedy friends, frenemies and acquaintances get together to make completely vulgar and tasteless jokes about each other. Comedy! Franco announced his impending ridicule via Instagram (as you do), so it must be real? We have no idea who’s gonna show up — we imagine roast regulars like Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey Ross will be there — but to help the powers that be at CC figure out who else to bring along, we’ve compiled this helpful list: Keep reading »
We all know that Melissa McCarthy is on a roll — between “Bridesmaids,” “Identity Theft,” and now the $40 million dollar opening of her buddy-cop movie “The Heat,” this lady is on fire.
What you may not know is this: McCarthy is also outperforming her male comedian colleagues and co-stars by millions.
According to comparisons between McCarthy’s recent movies and those of her male counterparts at comparable points in their careers, McCarthy is millions of dollars and one Oscar nomination ahead of male comedians like Will Farrell, Steve Carrell, Jason Bateman, Jonah Hill, and Seth Rogen.
Tell me why women “aren’t funny” again? Really. I’d like to know. Read more on The Mary Sue…