The other day I saw clickbait on the Internet called something like “10 Things You Find In Every Graduation Speech.” I didn’t click, but the headline stuck in my mind. Graduation is supposed to be a celebration of your hard work, a launch into the adult working world. A graduation speaker is someone chosen to offer wisdom and insight into this momentous rite of passage. Have graduation speeches really gotten so formulaic that they can slapped together with GIFs on BuzzFeed? (I guess they must? I only graduated nine years ago and I don’t even remember who my speaker was or what she said.)
I’ve been thinking about this lately because today, our editorial assistant Claire is graduating from college. Yesterday afternoon, we broke out the pink booze and mini eclairs to toast to no more finals and 10-page papers. As The Frisky staff sat around — all of us between five to 15 years out of college — we all had advice for Claire about being launched into the grownup world. Some of it was practical. Some of it was financial. All of it was honest and most assuredly more useful than whatever’s being said about “character” and “grit” and “passion” at graduations across the land this week. Those things are important, too, but they’re so vague you can make a GIFicle about them.
It made me wish I was the sort of “important person” who could be asked to give a commencement address. Seeing as I’m not an famous actor or a famous editor or really anyone important in particular, I don’t really see that happening. So for Claire, and for everyone else who may or may not have deeper thoughts on life than Charlie Day from “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,” here’s what I would say if someone asked me to give a commencement speech. Keep reading »
Comedy Central’s game show @Midnight features a segment called Hashtag Wars and this week’s topic was #WorseCollegeClasses. To honor finals week and remind students that it could be worse, each game show contestant had to come up with college classes students wouldn’t want to take like “Advanced Meth or Fart History.” Twitter followers got to play along in real time and the results were some cringeworthy college classes along with users critiquing the bad grammar of the hashtag. In the context of the show “worse” does make sense but out of context it does look like it should be “worst college classes.” Check out the best Twitter responses and video on College Candy…
According to Time and a survey by consulting company Accenture, this year’s college graduates are about to be faced with a big reality check regarding their professional future. I find this totally confusing, because I don’t know a single young person who isn’t terrified about their career prospects, even though Time claims grads are “pretty optimistic.” My experience is purely anecdotal, but most college seniors I know seem to have an overinflated perception of how bad the job market is, rather than some idea that employers will be lining up to hire them. Nobody is surprised that there are few job offers to be had, and in fact, this perceived poor outlook sometimes gets so out of hand that it becomes a hindrance that prevents them from even believing they’re worthy of applying to jobs in their field. Keep reading »
This one is for everyone who freaked about the colleges they got into, if they were privileged enough to get into college at all: a Gallup-Purdue University poll found that the experiences you had in college rather than the type of school you went to, are the major factor in determining the happiness in your post-grad quality of life. I’m guessing this could come as a major comfort to those high school juniors and seniors who are vying for spots at Princeton, Harvard and Yale. Keep reading »