I’m 28, my boyfriend is about to be 27, and we’ll be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in a few months. We’ve been living together for about three years now and about a year ago I started bringing up buying a house, marriage and kids. I am not in a huge hurry to start a family, but I want to make sure my man wants to move in the same direction I do. I can never get a real answer from him about this. He always shrugs at me and says, “I’m not ready and I don’t know what I want yet, but I know I love you and want to be with you.” Soon after I broached these topics, my boyfriend got VERY mopey and down about his life. It has been very hard on the relationship, but I have been understanding because he finally started to go to counseling. I thought things would start getting better, but he dropped a bomb the night before last. He says he wants to get his own place so he can “find himself.” BUT, he says he does not want to break up with me and expects that things won’t change.

I moved out east for grad school, and I happened upon a great guy — he saw me through the rough transition of living here, helped while I was a foster parent for a year, and is overall the best guy I’ve ever dated. Here’s the issue: he’ll be moving to a nearby city for a new job soon, and I’ll be graduating in a few months and I don’t know whether to move with him or head back out west. Here, I have him, but a place I do NOT like. Also, we’re both on the shy side, so building a social network will take some time. Out west, I have friends, family, much better career options, and cities that I LOVE. I may never meet another guy like him, and I love him so much.  But I also can see myself angrily saying that “I gave up everything for you,” and that would eat away at our relationship. He feels much the same about staying here as I do about returning home. This is the most mature, loving relationship I’ve ever had the privilege to be in; I want to maintain it.  But I think staying here might destroy it. — Homeward Bound

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I eventually want a long-term, committed relationship and kids. But I’ve recently come to the realization that I also don’t think I ever want to share my living space with another adult. For the first time in my life, I live alone and I love it. These two desires—to have kids with someone and to live alone—do not really go hand in hand. Crap.

In today’s New York Post there’s an interesting “trend” piece about unmarried couples who are drawing up formal and informal “cohabitation agreements” before moving in together. (Bonus! Our own Mind Of Man, John DeVore, and his girlfriend are featured.) The agreements cover everything from who handles which chores, which person pays certain bills, and who gets what in the event of a breakup. Basically, more and more couples—according to the Post—are drawing up these pre-nuptial-esque agreements, especially those who move in together earlier than they would normally, thanks to the tanking economy. So, I wondered, what does the average dude think about this trend? Would he sign one? (For that matter, would you?) I went to the handsome gents on my IM to find out ...

I’m 20 years old and am a college sophomore in New York. I met my boyfriend, a fellow classmate, during orientation and we’ve been together for a year and four months and things are going really great. The time to pick housing for next year is coming up soon and I’m having trouble deciding things. I go to Columbia, where the administration had just implemented a “gender neutral” housing policy starting next year, as you guys wrote about in one of your previous posts, and I’m trying to decide if I want to live with my boyfriend next year. If we do decide to be roommates, we could get a really nice double with our own kitchen and bathroom, which would put an end to the communal kitchen/bathroom ordeal I’ve had to deal with for the last two years. It’ll be like having our own apartment in New York. But I know that being roommates can bring a lot of other things into the relationship that we never had to deal with before, and I don’t know if we’re ready for that. Also, I’m not sure if I will ever get any work done if I’m living with my boyfriend. But then again, I feel like it would be the perfect arrangement for us, and I’m not really concerned about us breaking up and having to deal with the awkwardness that would ensue. What do you think? — Undecided Roommate

Carrie Underwood is enjoying her hunky hockey boyfriend Mike Fisher, but announced on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” that she has no intention of sharing a love nest. “No, call me old-fashioned. He’s there. I’m here. We’re both doing our thing and it’s good,” she said. “The next guy I move in with will be my hubby. Whoever that is. I’m not saying it’s going to be him.” [People]

I’m totally with Carrie on this one. I’m not going to bother cohabiting with a guy unless I’m positive that we’re getting married. It’s hard enough breaking up with roommates and moving out—I can’t even imagine dealing with the emotional entanglement that comes with love. Here are some other celebs who won’t give up their bachelor/ette pads, either.

There are only two reasons why I’d move in and live with another girlfriend. We’re married and determined to fill a sweatshop with our nimble-fingered love critters. Or she cracks me in the head with a shovel, sews my mouth shut, replaces my eyeballs with marbles, and sits my stuffed body in the corner. Whatever you do, don’t move in with your boyfriend. What? It’s too late? Sweet Zeus, Odin, and Quetzalcoatl, winged serpent god of the Aztecs! I hope your cohabitation doesn’t end the way two (two!) of mine did – with helicopters launching off the roof amidst tornadoes of debris and smoke, a single individual hanging off the skids, flipping the bird to the person whose name is on the lease.

Whether you’re getting married or have decided to live in (gasp!) sin, the decision to cohabitate is one of the most nerve-wracking, potentially fight-provoking, all-around-scariest things you will do as a couple. Here are some pitfalls to avoid:

1. The Money-Saver Move-In: The recession is kicking everyone’s ass, but if the major reasoning behind your decision to shack up is to save money, don’t. Living together, while fun, is also hard work and you’re going to need a big fat love connection when things get rough.

For many women, moving in with a serious boyfriend is not merely a stepping stone in the evolution of a relationship, it’s a practical way to both give the mundane realities of marriage a test-run and deal with the exorbitant expenses of modern living. When it comes to co-habiting with a significant other, we’ve come a long way since that old chestnut about not buying the cow when you could get the milk for free.

Or have we? Some research shows that living together before marriage actually increases the already stacked odds that the union will end in divorce. It might seem old-fashioned, but there are plenty of progressive, independent women opting to hold off on living with their dudes until after “I do.” Of course, there are no hard and fast rules for ensuring a marriage succeeds. I talked to two women with opposing views about whether co-habitating with a partner was good or bad for the long-term health of a relationship.

Whether you’re getting hitched or embracing the modern tradition of premarital cohabitation, moving in with your significant other is a big deal. From fighting for the covers every night to waking up with the person you love each morning, this new chapter in your life—especially the first 30 days—may be rife with happy moments and potential conflicts. While there’s no foolproof plan to avoiding relationship complications after you move in together, following these tips will help make the transition that much easier.

You truly don’t know your man until you perform the ultimate test of compatibility. No, it does not involve signing up on eHarmony.com to see if you’re meant to be. To know if your love will last until the end of your days, you must do the inevitable: Move in together.

When my boyfriend of a year and I considered signing a lease together at the beginning of this year, the prospect of living together was a dream come true. I, like many other women, naively thought shacking up was the natural first step to happily-ever-after. Through my rose-colored glasses, I envisioned our bond strengthening and our relationship evolving. Best of all, we’d be together all the time.

Our brother from another mother, the venerable dude site AskMen.com, has some words of wisdom for their readers on the perks and perils of shacking up with your one-and-only. We thought the advice was so universal, we thought we’d share it with the broads who read The Frisky. Enjoy!

Asking your girlfriend to move in with you seems like a good idea. It’s the fantasy of waking up to freshly brewed coffee, hot waffles and clean, matching socks that has you contemplating the big question: “To shack up or not to shack up?”

You might figure shacking up kills two birds with one stone:

1. It’s a brilliant way of proving you are serious about making a commitment without having to fork out a Donald Trump-sized fortune for a diamond ring.
2. You can literally save bundles sharing the rent, food and utilities. Plus you will have sex on tap and a personal chef.

Of course you know you’re going to have to be a bit more considerate and share your prized possessions, but are you really ready for the realities of shacking up with your girlfriend? We present you with the seven realities of shacking up with your girlfriend to help you make this decision, after the jump…

It’s almost August 1…which means a couple things. One, I need to return that skirt I just bought or I’ll be broke at rent time. And two, leases are coming to an end, which means more and more couples will take the plunge and move in with each other.

As someone who just took the plunge and moved in with her boyfriend for the first time, I can tell you it’s everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s fun, convenient, cost-effective, and the next logical step in our relationship. But how are you supposed to know when it’s the right time?

For many couples that’ve been going steady for a while, the first big relationship hurdle occurs when they go on vacation together. Chuck Thompson, author of the fantastically hilarious book Smile When You’re Lying, says that there are five very important breakthroughs that occur when taking a vacay together. “Traveling together is really practice for living together or even being married,” he says. “It’s the first time you’re going to be in each others constant company for, let’s say, a week straight. That is much different than seeing someone three times a week or even seeing them everyday for a few hours. It’s a real test of compatibility.” The five travel-induced hurdles that will make or break your relationship, after the jump.