I’m confused about whether or not I should move in with my boyfriend of about a year. We are both in our twenties. For the past year, I’ve been living with roommates. During that time, he would frequently invite me over to his place, a house with a big yard, and then invite me to stay the night. He would do this almost every night and feel very happy about it, even proudly joking he had successfully “stolen” me from my roommates once again. He always talked about me moving in. Even when I tried to find other roommates, he would always insist I just move in with him.
But when my roommates moved out a month before the lease expired, his story changed. Now that it’s just me, he never “steals” me, and if I go to his place he is sure to bring me back to my place so we can sleep separately. Now he says he’d prefer for us both to have our own separate places. I can’t afford to live on my own in this city without roommates, plus I very much prefer to live with other people. Living alone feels unnatural, uncomfortable and unsafe to me.
My lease expires soon, and I wasn’t searching for other roommates very seriously as I was spending most of my time with him, and up until a few weeks ago, he was insisting I live with him. Why did he only want me when I was living with other people? What is going on in his head? I feel trapped. – S.
It boils down to this: there’s a difference between what people say, and what people do. Keep reading »
For nearly two weeks, I’ve had a Dude living in my small studio apartment. It’s a short-term-ish houseguest situation that will likely last another month or so, which means the Dude (sorry, no details on who he is, but feel free to assume it’s Ryan Gosling for visual purposes) has been given the freedom to make himself at home more so than your average weekend visitor, but less so than a full on roommate. I haven’t lived with anyone, let alone a man, since my ex and I broke up five years ago, so I’m used to having my place just so. I was genuinely amused by how quickly — like, within a few hours of him temporarily moving in — I started to notice little signs that my feng shui-ed girly sanctuary was being soaked in testosterone. So I decide to document the changes as a sort of anthropological study. Here are 10 signs that a dude is starting to take over your apartment, presented in photographs taken around my abode…
Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested. First up…
“I’m thinking of moving in with my boyfriend. But the past two times I’ve lived with someone, we fought too much and it fell apart. Any advice for how not to let that happen again?”
Yes. Get a cat.
Keep reading »
On this week’s episode, in addition to a shameless ploy to get free shoes from Rachel Comey and Madewell, we discuss an alleged plot to blackball Ann Romney in the fashion industry and how annoying it is when your local Starbucks can’t get your drink right, no matter how many times you order it. Then we give Julie a whole bunch of advice for moving in with her boyfriend. Hint: ask for forgiveness instead of permission when it comes to decorating…
Moving in with your girlfriend is a huge deal. In life-change terms, it’s a bigger transition than getting married. Though you don’t get the recognition from your family and friends that comes with tying the knot, you’re going through a huge day-to-day shift when you move in with a woman.
We’re all for cohabitation before marriage, and there are plenty of reasons why shacking up with your girlfriend is a great idea. You create a home together. You develop an ad hoc cuisine that is native to only the two of you. (You’ll know something special has happened when you walk into the kitchen and she’s making that cottage-cheese-and-pickles mix you’ve been dipping Triscuits into since you were seven — and she’s making it for herself.) Read more…
Kim Kardashian has pretty much become a household name. We’ve witnessed her relationships build, and we, of course, have witnessed them completely fall apart. We’ve read about her divorce, her embarrassment, her shame, but it looks like things may be falling into place for this reality TV star. According to sources, it seems her and Kanye West have decided to take their relationship to the next level: cohabitation!
Since most of us watch every little moment of Kim’s life unfold, we’re, of course, rooting for forever in this relationship. But that means compromise. So what is the proper way to consolidate two completely separate lives and people into one house without TOO much drama? Well, I researched 9 tips that will, hopefully, make this huge change a little bit easier, just in case you were thinking of taking the plunge yourself. Read more… Photo: Fame/Flynet
You meet a great guy. You start dating. At first you’re seeing each other once or twice a week and after a month it’s up to three or four. You start having sleepovers and pretty soon there’s “the toothbrush discussion.” Then one day you wake up and can’t remember the last time you actually slept at your own place; it’s just an expensive unkempt storage unit and you have the dust bunnies and dead plants to prove it.
Considering that you spend almost all of your time at your boyfriend’s place, moving in together is just easier. And there are some pretty logical advantages. Keep reading »
When a relationship shifts into the living-together phase, it can be difficult to maintain the exciting spark that exists in the beginning. There’s a tendency to treat each other as roommates instead of romantic partners, but a few simple tweaks to your everyday routine can help to amp up the chemistry and strengthen your bond. Worried that you might get a little toocomfortable with each other? Follow these five tips to keep the flirty, sexy vibes alive:
1. Meet after work. There’s something to be said for seeing each other across a crowded restaurant — rather than, say, getting ready together in the bathroom. Read more…
So, you and your boyfriend are considering moving in together? Congratulations! This is an exciting time in any relationship — a big step with a lot of fun moments along the way. (Shopping for new art and eating Chinese food on the living room floor? Yes please!) My boyfriend and I have lived together for about three years, and in that time we’ve learned a lot about each other and our relationship. We’ve dealt with my messy habits, different levels of social needs, and limited closet space. We’ve also had countless jam sessions, “Arrested Development” marathons, and a “Titanic” reenactment party that no one will ever forget.
While we’re certainly not perfect, we have figured out — through trial and error — how to make the cohabitation thing work. The big secret? Don’t leave your hair in the shower drain. The second most important thing? Talk about things before they become major problems. It’s easy to think that just because you love each other, living together will come naturally, but in reality, sharing a space with someone always requires some planning and negotiation. Here are five things to talk about before, during, and after you move in together… Keep reading »
Over at The Nest, they’re collecting their users’ most ridiculous fights. And what I noticed (aside from a serious trend of couple’s food issues): So many of these are caused by everyday home occurences. Not that I can’t relate. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to fighting over the TV volume, folding the laundry, locking the door — oh, sadly, I could go on. Instead, I gathered my favorite house-caused tiffs from the post and comments — plus some new ones from our Facebook friends:
“We fought about how many times a toilet should be flushed in a day. This was a serious, ridiculous, give-the-silent-treatment kind of argument.” –LOISSA
“We got into a fight while assembling the furniture in our new house. If we made it through that, we’ll make it through anything!” –AUBREYDUB
Read more… Keep reading »