Tag Archives: cohabiting

5 Things To Talk About Before You Move In Together

Winona Dimeo-EdigerJanuary 31, 2012 //

John DeVore doesn't believe in living together. Read More »

After The Move-In...

...couples should stop doing these 20 things! Read More »

Misguided Move-Ins

These celebs moved in together perhaps inadvisedly. 10 Photos »

So, you and your boyfriend are considering moving in together? Congratulations! This is an exciting time in any relationship — a big step with a lot of fun moments along the way. (Shopping for new art and eating Chinese food on the living room floor? Yes please!) My boyfriend and I have lived together for about three years, and in that time we’ve learned a lot about each other and our relationship. We’ve dealt with my messy habits, different levels of social needs, and limited closet space. We’ve also had countless jam sessions, “Arrested Development” marathons, and a “Titanic” reenactment party that no one will ever forget.

While we’re certainly not perfect, we have figured out — through trial and error — how to make the cohabitation thing work. The big secret? Don’t leave your hair in the shower drain. The second most important thing? Talk about things before they become major problems. It’s easy to think that just because you love each other, living together will come naturally, but in reality, sharing a space with someone always requires some planning and negotiation. Here are five things to talk about before, during, and after you move in together… Keep reading »

The Most Ridiculous Home-Related Fights

Stylelist HomeJuly 24, 2011 //

Over at The Nest, they’re collecting their users’ most ridiculous fights. And what I noticed (aside from a serious trend of couple’s food issues): So many of these are caused by everyday home occurences. Not that I can’t relate. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to fighting over the TV volume, folding the laundry, locking the door — oh, sadly, I could go on. Instead, I gathered my favorite house-caused tiffs from the post and comments — plus some new ones from our Facebook friends:

“We fought about how many times a toilet should be flushed in a day. This was a serious, ridiculous, give-the-silent-treatment kind of argument.” –LOISSA

“We got into a fight while assembling the furniture in our new house. If we made it through that, we’ll make it through anything!” –AUBREYDUB

Dear Wendy: “Should My Boyfriend And I Move To A Third World Country Together?”

Wendy AtterberryJuly 20, 2011 //

I’m 21 and have been offered the opportunity to work in a rural area of a third world country. I will be doing something not very glamorous — necessary work for the project, but not the most exciting thing ever. I am very ambivalent as to whether I should accept it — I don’t speak the language, have no particular ties to this country, and am unsure if I would enjoy this opportunity. However, it would be a different experience and very unique. I would appreciate your level-headed thinking on this matter. In addition, I have a boyfriend of over two years. We have a great relationship and love each other deeply. He has offered to move to this country with me. He has few things tying him to our current location and has also expressed that he would be willing to follow me to other areas of the continental U.S., etc. My question is: is this a good idea? My heart says yes. It would ease my mind greatly if we didn’t have to worry about the long-distance relationship factor. I’ve mentioned potential obstacles, but he brushes it off as, basically, it doesn’t matter; he wants to be with me. What do you think? If I take this opportunity, I would want him to come, but I’m worried about what might happen. What if he hates it? What if he can’t find a job? I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to see him all that often. Please help! — First World Dilemma

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Sleeping On The Couch

Stylelist HomeApril 17, 2011 //

I yawn, rest my head on my pillow, roll on my side and close my eyes. “Knee,” I say to my husband. He flutters his eyes open and grunts an “I’m sleeping” noise. “Your knee, my love, is jabbing into my back. Can you move it?” As he readjusts his position, he rests his arm on my feet — Oy, this is even more uncomfortable. I tap my feet against his bicep to get his attention. “Your arm,” I tell him. “It’s resting on my feet.”

“Where else can I put it?” he asks. Keep reading »

He Said/She Said: Merging Lives

Rainbow KirbyApril 12, 2011 //

On a recent cold, damp morning, I woke up feeling anxious. My new job had been taking its toll, and when I found J. lying on the couch in the living room and not next to me, I became even more agitated. I ran out the door, shooting a snotty glance in his direction. Walking to the subway, I felt lost. Something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on it. J. called me repeatedly when I got to work, but I didn’t pick up. My mother finally IM’d me. “Answer your phone NOW.” And then I knew — my Mere, my grandmother, was gone. Keep reading »

I Love My Boyfriend. His Stuff? Not So Much.

Stylelist HomeApril 3, 2011 //

I should have been satisfied when my boyfriend agreed to get rid of his forest-green pleather couch — with matching love seat! — before we started living together. But I wasn’t. I’d finally gotten my apartment just the way I wanted it. It was a carefully curated nest of thrifted furniture and vintage Pyrex. Every room was perfect. For me.

But I loved my boyfriend, so I knew that if we were going to be living together, I’d have to at least pretend to love his stuff (save for those hideous couches). I just wasn’t prepared for how much of it he’d have.

The night before he moved in, he drove some things over: seven African masks of varying sizes, at least 30 nearly-empty condiments for the fridge and concert posters. So many concert posters. The posters weren’t framed, but the Coors Light mirror he brought was. Read more… Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Should I Leave My Boyfriend Behind?”

Wendy AtterberryMarch 30, 2011 //

Dump My BF Before College?

Dear Wendy helps a reader who is on the fence. Read More »

I am a 21-year-old college student, graduating this spring. I was recently accepted to an Ivy League institution to pursue my graduate degree, and I have never been more excited! However, I have a boyfriend of over six years, who really wants to follow me to graduate school. At first, this seemed like a great idea. I am very happy that he supports me and we have a very strong relationship. However, he does not have a lot of ambition. While I will be going for a graduate degree, he failed out of college and has not really shown any interest in going back. He is currently a cook, and would be able to get a job pretty easily if we move. He has also talked about other labor jobs or bartending. Another concern is that he has never lived anywhere but with his parents. I have been on my own for four years. I am worried that he’ll find it difficult to live away from home. On the other hand, I think it would be a great opportunity for him to move to a city where there are many more opportunities for him. Considering all of this, I am also concerned about myself. I want to be able to take advantage of this opportunity to attend an Ivy League institution to the fullest. I do love him, and I don’t want to lose him, but I am really unsure if he should come along with me, or if I should essentially leave him behind. I don’t want to have any regrets. What do you think I should do? — Off to an Ivy

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He Said/She Said: When She Moves In With Him

Rainbow KirbyMarch 18, 2011 //

I had just started calling J. my boyfriend when he asked me to move in – rather, told me I was moving in. He had posted my apartment on Craig’s List “just to gauge the response” and within an hour received six. At work when he delivered the news, I kind of freaked. I like my independence. I like my space. And when it comes to fight or flight syndrome, I’m like the Road Runner – Beep, Beep, Zroooooommm, I’m gone! Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Did I Fail To Keep The Romance Alive?

Jessica WakemanFebruary 3, 2011 //

Yesterday I was idly reading the comments on one of my posts on The Frisky when a partner link caught my eye: “7 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Boyfriend.” Shouldn’t tell your boyfriend? I thought. I always told my boyfriend everything. Like, EVERYTHING. He knew about my bouts with depression. He knew about my brother’s struggles with drug addiction and alcoholism. He knew about how much I owe in student loans. He knew about my spanking fetish. He knew about my desire for dominant/submissive sex. He knew about the May-December romance I had with a 37-year-old man when I was 22. He knew when I farted and burped and had the flu. He knew what I looked like in sweatpants, in no makeup, and in sweatpants and no makeup. During the two years that we dated, he was my best friend Why wouldn’t he know these things?

Then a light went off in my head. I picked up my cell phone and dialed Amelia. “Do you think the reason our relationships didn’t work out is because our partners were our best friends first, instead of our lovers?” I asked. “Do you think we didn’t keep the romance alive?” Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Is It Too Soon To Live With My Boyfriend?”

Wendy AtterberryJanuary 7, 2011 //

Every summer, my family takes a vacation to our mountain house in upstate New York. We have a dog though who doesn’t come along so one or two of us kids stays behind to take care of him for the month that everyone’s gone. Last year, I joined my brother for the month, but he recently moved to Florida, leaving me as the only person staying behind. I’m 20, and hoping to finally move out by June (depending on my job though), plus I hate staying at our big home in the middle of nowhere all alone. Our dog is big and used to being able to run around in fields, so it seems cruel to move him into a small apartment with me. My mom suggested having someone stay with me this summer and wait till my family gets home to move out. I’m strongly considering asking my 22-year-old boyfriend of seven months to join me, but there are a few concerns. As of now, we’re only seven months into our relationship and I’m not sure I feel comfortable enough to spend a month living with him just yet, especially since we also work together. Also, things are a bit rocky in our relationship, though I’m confident by the summertime things will be much better. Do you think that it’s too soon for us to live together, even though it’s only for a couple months, or would it be good for us? If I do ask, how should I bring it up to him without making him think that I’m more serious about our relationship than I’m ready to be? — Dog Sitter

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