Dear Tori Spelling,
I try to ignore it whenever I see gossip stories about you. Why? Because you’re doin’ you and I’m doin’ me and what you do when you’re doin’ you is none of my biz. Usually this arrangement works just fine for you and me. But then yesterday, I got curious and watched a Vine video you posted on Twitter titled “This is how we sleep.”
It was a clever caption. It would engage even the most disinterested web surfer such as myself. I wish I never clicked on it. It made me feel deeply uncomfie, first and foremost, because I don’t want to see your husband naked in bed making sexy eyes at you. Ick. Weird. Then it pans to your sleeping dog and kids. Ok. Whatever. A lot of peeps sleep with their dogs and kids. I’m not judging.
The thing that made me regret watching your vid was the FUCKING CHICKEN IN YOUR BED. Tori, No. I know that you’ve been a celebrity your whole life, and you grew up with a warped sense of reality, but you must know that having a chicken in your bed is FUCKING GROSS. Keep reading »
For Coco Austin, being married to rapper-turned-actor Ice-T has been quite the ride. This year, her life took a surprising turn when she got offered the headlining spot on Las Vegas’ Peepshow! With a hit reality series on E!, Coco is constantly busy and on the move. So we got her to spill some of her secrets—everything from keeping the romance alive with Ice and possibly having children to how she keeps her super-fit body and strong confidence. Be sure to find out everything she couldn’t tell us on the premiere of “Ice Loves Coco” tonight! Read more…
Apparently, there’s a big debate going on in THE WORLD about the state of Coco’s caboose. Put your mind at ease. She insists her ass is 100 percent real. It’s just gotten bigger because she has hit the ripe old age of 32 and she’s getting bigger in all the right places. Lucky her. Her ass realness is confirmed by the official “Doctors” jiggle test (a thinly veiled excuse for everyone to stare at her ass). I can’t believe Tyra Banks didn’t think of the jiggle test first. I guess she was too busy tooching.
So that settles it. Coco’s butt is real because it’s jiggly like her breast implants and not hard like those weird, silicone butt implants and because it has its own personality. But before large booties were the big thing in Hollywood, Coco suffered with that behind of hers. People called her fat. Her own grandmother tried to smother that thing by putting a girdle on her when she was only nine years old. If only granny could see her now. [WOW]
Coco is the master of showing off cleave of all kinds — boob, butt and now vadge. In a photo shoot for Craze magazine she wore a silver body suit, which accentuated her cameltoe, or as Ice likes to refer to it, her “nice healthy, well defined coochie.” After the jump, Coco’s nice, healthy, well defined coochie. OK. I’ve officially fulfilled my creep quota for the day. [Coco on WhoSay] Keep reading »
This is how I’m spending my first Saturday of summer too: relaxing at the beach, reading a book, wearing a bikini, workin’ on my arches. Or, as I call it, “Chillin’ Coco-style.” See a couple more photos after the jump and the rest of the exclusive set at the link! [Celebuzz] Keep reading »
If you don’t watch “Ice Loves Coco” you might assume that Ice-T and his wife Coco have a shallow, reality show relationship. After all, he’s a rap star, she’s a voluptuous model; usually that combo doesn’t make for the most healthy and equal partnerships. But anyone who has watched “Ice Loves Coco” knows that these two crazy kids are actually the reality show exception: they have a genuinely solid relationship and have been married for over 11 years. As an avid fan of the show, I thought it might be helpful to compile some relationship tips I’ve learned from watching the show. Read on for seven love lessons from Coco and Ice-T that we should all take to heart… Keep reading »
What is this we have here? How could this be the same Coco I know and love, the one who usually has her breasts three quarters of the way outside of her clothing, her buttcrack eternally emphasized by thong pants? I don’t know what to believe anymore. Go on without me. [Celebitchy]
Posing with body paint is almost exactly like posing naked, just with more creativity. I don’t know how you were celebrating “Titty Tuesday” yesterday, but this is what Coco was up to. She was getting all covered in body paint and becoming a Superhero. I’m not sure what her super powers are meant to be (mesmerizing mere mortals with her boobs?), but I love the touch of the fireball shooting from her hand. Very menacing. She gets an “A” for originality. But Coco is hardly the first celebrity to make body paint art. Click through to see some more painted ladies. [Who Say]
Body painting by RoByn Thompson of www.nycbodyart.com.
You know you were curious about what would happen when Coco’s ass and aerial yoga made each other’s acquaintance. Well, here you go. I happen to know that this pose is called Monkey. I know this because I’ve done aerial yoga. But my butt never looks quite like that. Coincidentally, “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen just came on my Spotify mix. As Freddie Mercury says, “Fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go ’round.” Indeed. [Buzzfeed]