Tag Archives: cma awards

An Open Letter To My Fantasy Girlfriend, CMA Awards Co-Host Carrie Underwood

 

Dear Fantasy Girlfriend Carrie Underwood,

I want to preface this letter by letting you know that I am not a lesbian, nor do I plan on experimenting with women any time soon. With that said, I would certainly not kick you out of bed. In fact, you’re up there on the “People I’d Gladly Do If They Let Me” list with Paul Walker, Ryan Gosling and Tim McGraw.

While I was watching/sleeping through the CMA Awards last night, I was literally mesmerized by your legs. They’re perfectly toned, bronzed and otherworldly. For a moment, I thought I put my TV on mute, but it was just me—entranced by your limbs. You’ve had killer gams for a long time, but unfortunately, the trainwreck that was the 2013 CMAs, drew even more attention to the only appealing facet of the show other than Luke Bryan: your legs.

And since you exercised the shit out of those bad boys last night, perhaps you should take a seat because this might sting a bit. Here it goes … you sucked. Keep reading »

Style Superlatives: The 2013 CMA Awards Red Carpet

Did you guys watch the CMA Awards last night? I didn’t get to see the actual show, although according to Katie, I didn’t miss much. But come on, the red carpet fashion is what everyone really cares about, so let’s delve into the sartorial choices of country’s superstars, shall we? Who wins the crown for best color? Whose vintage style is on point? Who is most likely to be mistaken for a Vegas lounge singer? Who seems to be trying really hard to impress your mom? Click through to find out!

Gwyneth Paltrow Shows Us Her Twang At The CMA Awards


I’m not sure what I was expecting, exactly, but last night’s CMA Awards were kinda snoozy. Miranda Lambert and Brad Paisley won lots of awards. Taylor Swift was her usual “aww shucks” self. And the camera kept pointing to Keith Urban with Nicole Kidman at his side. But there were two performances that stood out. First, Gwyneth Paltrow put down the goop and picked up a guitar to perform “Country Strong,” the title track from her upcoming movie of the same name. And she was surprisingly good—interesting, since we all know that singing in a movie often nets a star an Oscar. We’ll think of this as a warm-up for her appearance on “Glee,” when she’ll do a mash-up of “Singin’ in the Rain” and Rihanna’s “Umbrella.” Keep reading »

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