No one on earth is quite as pleased as a man who has just pleased a woman between the sheets. We love the care and attention you’ve paid to us for our own benefit, but we also love watching you bask in self-satisfaction. But as satisfied as you might be with yourself, sometimes we’re not quite as satisfied as you’d hoped: something relatively minor, but highly distracting, was a bit “off.”

Don’t be offended, darlings, but a few nips and tucks in your bedroom style might speed things along (in a good way)—leaving us more time for another go at it!

This week I got a letter from a teeny bopper, who just can’t seem to “She Bop,” if you know what I mean. She wrote:

I’m 19, have never had a boyfriend, and am still a virgin.
 I’m not coming to you for relationship advice; the way I see it I don’t need a man right now. The thing is, as I’m sure you know, sex dominates culture. Just because I’ve never done it doesn’t mean I haven’t heard stories, and it’s made me pretty damn horny. I’m kind of curious about masturbation, but I feel like I’m just doing it wrong. Nothing seems to really get me there. Do you have advice for a beginner like me?

Well, honey, even a ho like me will tell you that there’s no rush to lose your virginity—especially if you’ haven’t orgasmed on your own first! Lettin’ some dude sock it to you before you know how to get off isn’t gonna do it for ya. No man is that good. You’ve got to take your O into your own hands!  You’ve got to solve, or rather diddle, your own ecstasy riddle. So, all that work you’ve been doing feeling around down there, even if it hasn’t finished the job, is a good start! Now here’s how you can take yourself all the way home.

Exercise does a body good—literally.  Forget feeling the burn, a new workout move called the coregasm will give you sheer pleasure while you tone your abs! That’s right, you can get off and get fit all with one easy move. Find out how, after the jump…

 

The Joy of Sex, the groundbreaking tome of the swinging ‘60s and ‘70s, changed the way America felt about fornication.  Originally written by Alex Comfort, it took on taboos like bondage and was all about harnessing the sexual revolution purely for pleasure. Now, over three decades later, it’s new and improved, this time thanks to a woman! Rewritten by the nearly 60-year-old blogger and sexpert Susan Quilliam, she’s given the illicit sex book a much needed dose of estrogen—not mention some serious clit-talk. While the original opus mentioned the oh-so sensitive spot only three times, Quilliam ups the ante to even discussing new trends like phone sex, sex with a baby bump, and strip tease. But in a world facing an AIDS crisis, she’s also shifted some other sexual attitudes. Even though she’s a spinster herself, she’s focused her advice for people in committed, loving relationships. Oh and one other bonus—this new edition has also replaced the outdated drawings of two hairy hippies getting it on with a bunch of modern hotties bumpin’ bottoms. With a twist and a woman’s touch, this book is sure to be a new classic—but you’ll have to wait until it reaches U.S. bookshelves in January 2009. [Times Online]

According to Belgian researchers, how you walk is related to how you orgasm.  They studied tapes of a controlled group of women walking on the street, where 50% percent of the group claimed they get an orgasm solely from stimulating their clitoris, while the other 50% can orgasm through intercourse without clitoral stimulation. The report is published with a lot of high-brow lingo, but basically, the “sexologists” associated a good strut, complete with sashaying hips, with the ability to orgasm with only penetration. Surprisingly enough, they were 81% accurate! Even still, these “experts” still weren’t able to pick out women who required clitoral stimulation….isn’t that the story of our lives. Something tells us this study is just a load of good guessing B.S. [Psych Central]

A rare colorless diamond—101.27 carats—will be auctioned off in Hong Kong in late May and is expected to go for at least $6 million. Be sure to alert your boyfriend so that he can bid on what is sure to become your engagement ring. [AHN]

The Raelians, a cult-like group, have set up Clitoraid, a non-profit organization that will sponsor clitoral reconstruction surgeries.They’re also in the midst of building a facility where these surgeries will be performed at what Raelians are calling “the pleasure hospital,” though construction has been delayed. Also, some have dressed in costume to support this new venture. [Wired.com]

One in three Australians between the ages of 18 and 25 have cheated on a partner at least once. Researchers think this might be because one person loved the other person more, as opposed to both loving each other equally. [AAP]