Though it may not quite warrant a work holiday and the banks remain inexplicably open, Boobquake is upon us. Today is the day when we use our chesticles to disturb the very balance of life on earth, causing an “earthquake” with our breasts. “How does this work?” you ask. Well, if the latest BS coming out of radical Iran is to be believed, then “slutty women” have been causing earthquakes with their inappropriateness for years. Boobquake Day aims to harness our collective chestiness for the purposes of testing this questionable theory. Because this is a politically motivated excuse for cleavage, you’re going to want to make sure you do it right. We’ve got a few tips for unleashing the girls, after the jump. Keep reading »
Only a few short months ago, we were talking about Hollywood boobs. Or, more accurately, the lack thereof, when we noticed that more and more, celebs were joining the itty-bitty titty committee. After the Golden Globes, however, some see the trend reversing. Writes one New York Times blogger who saw an emergence of curves on the whole:
“Maybe it’s just me, but I could have sworn that some of the ladies who showed up at the Golden Globes on Sunday had put on a little weight. It’s almost criminal to name names, because the very actresses whose body-mass indexes have been the subject of endless tabloid speculation are the very ones now sporting sexier curves. You could definitely see the difference if you concentrated solely on the upper arms … ”
“Your elbows are nature’s push-up bra,” says Go-Go Amy, a NYC burlesque performer. Just think of all the money we ladies would save if we could only walk around all day with our elbows pushed together! [via New York Times] Keep reading »
What’s the big issue these days in German politics? Sex appeal. Vera Lengsfeld, a conservative candidate running for parliament, is generating controversy over a campaign billboard she posted in her voting district. The billboard uses an unauthorized photo of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and shows both middle-aged women sporting very, very revealing tops that expose “Real Housewives”-level cleavage. Across the bottom, the billboard reads, “We have more to offer.” Merkel is shocked by the photos and so are many Germans. But the billboard does seem to have served its purpose. Lengsfeld is getting quite a bit of attention, even if has nothing to do with her politics. Do you think her girls can get a woman elected? Keep reading »
We never saw this on “Law & Order.” While a detective was interviewing this woman as a character witness for a murder suspect, he got a big surprise—she was carrying a living squirrel in her cleavage! Every time the little rodent popped out of her breasts, she shoved him back in… as if this were a completely normal thing. Now Miss, may I suggest that if you wanted a squirrel to stay in your cleavage, maybe you should not have worn such an ill-fitting, low-cut shirt? And who can trust a woman with a squirrel living between her breasts? Keep reading »
Throughout the ages women have gone to great pains to get showstopping and eye-dropping cleavage. The corset was rough, stuffed-toilet paper bras were prone to discovery and the push-up bra is just a bit too obvious. According to the peeps from My Beautiful Breasts, however, your cleavage woes are over. This kit ain’t just your average bra-filling and lifting, ladies. We are talking about painting on your boobies, or lack thereof.
We’ve scene this trick before: use makeup to create contours on our bust line the same way we use bronzer to fake sharper cheekbones or those weird airbrushing techniques that create faux six-pack abs. Except, this ain’t just a wish of bronzer we are talking about. Eye shadow and blush come off pretty easy, but the bust stain can stay on for up to five days! And, maybe I am just bitter because I can’t draw a stick figure, but painting-on your boobies sounds pretty complicated and complex. Chances are I would mess it up and have some pretty busted looking buhbies for a week.
I think I’ll just stick to toilet paper, thank you very much. [$69, My Beautiful Breasts Kit, ItCosmetics.com]