Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
First up, a woman whose roommate keeps “borrowing” her shit and a boyfriend who does not appreciate the finer things in life, like the “Real Housewives” series:
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For pretty much my whole life, I’ve been a huge slob. We’re talking gigantic piles of clothes on the floor, dirty dishes all over the house, disgusting bathroom, “What is a duster and how do you use it?” levels of slobbery. I have ADD, and I always found it nearly impossible to focus long enough to clean something up, let alone maintain any semblance of organization. A couple years ago, I decided I was tired of my apartment looking like a frat house, so I made a commitment to change my behavior. I read this book, which is amazing and highly recommended. I learned to work with my ADD instead of against it. I consciously created a bunch of new organizing systems and cleaning habits. Today, I feel like an ADD success story. I’m still no neat freak (dusting will never be my thing), but I clean my house pretty much every day, willingly, and – gasp! — I enjoy it. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way that might help you, too:
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I am one of those people who doesn’t mind messiness as long as I don’t see it. This is why many of my drawers are stuffed with receipts and knick knacks, my bathroom cabinets are horrifically disorganized, and the top of my TV has never known the sweet touch of a dust rag. This is also why I love carpet — dirt, hair, dust, and a multitude of other slovenly sins can just be crammed down into it until you get around to vacuum. Out of sight, out of mind. Gross? Maybe, but it’s the truth. Keep reading »
“Cleanliness” is such relative concept that hardly anyone thinks of herself as a dirty person. We all believe we’re neat and clean enough, because, well, it’s our B.O., sandwich crumbs, and long strands of hair we’re living with. (At least you think it’s hair!) But an honest assessment may tell a different story. If your mom/mother-in-law/Martha Stewart were popping by for a visit, would you really just swipe the top of the stove with a Clorox Disinfecting Wipe and call it a day? Thought not. That, my dirty friends, is why we have Jolie Kerr. Keep reading »
At the beginning of our relationship, my now-wife “Charlotte” came over to my place for the first time and my room was immaculate. The pens and pencils on my desk were organized in straight lines. You could have bounced a quarter off my bed. Even the photos and posters on the wall were a study in flawless geometric alignment.
Charlotte just thought I was a “neat freak” at first, which, honestly, isn’t such a bad characteristic when you start seeing someone. But as time passed, she realized that my neat and clean ways went much deeper than just about being organized. After we moved in together, Charlotte started noticing some odd behaviors. For example, if something isn’t arranged just the way I like it on the desk, my breathing becomes heavy and I have a mini panic attack until the disorganized piles became organized piles. The first time she witnessed this, she thought I was overreacting and told me to “calm down — it’s just a little bit messy.” Yet my mind couldn’t think of anything else but the books that weren’t perfectly aligned, the pile of paper that wasn’t neatly stacked, the odd objects — a pen, a lighter, and some sunglasses — that were strewn about without any care about their placement in relationship to all of the other objects. I couldn’t continue on with my day without organizing that desk. So I sat down and organized it as Charlotte looked on with consternation.
She suddenly knew that she was in a relationship with someone who has obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Keep reading »
Whether your last relationship was a brief affair or years in the making, breakups are always tough to handle. For many of us, the five stages of grief include sulking, series binging on your favorite TV shows, drowning your sorrows with multiple pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and staunch avoidance. Still surrounded by mementos of your ex and your relationship, sometimes the easiest response to your emotional state is to sit on the couch and do nothing at all. That is, until your best friend comes over to deliver a much-needed pep talk and finds you buried beneath a pile of post-relationship clutter.
With a little push, you admit that it’s time to get organized and get on with your life. To help guide the process of cleaning up after the breakup, here are five simple tips for excising your ex and all his/her stuff from your home: Keep reading »
People love to speculate as to whether or not porn for women exists. I can’t answer definitively, but if it does exist, it features a bunch of scantily-clad cadets doing chores and dancing to techno music. Um, never have I ever seen a man mop the floor by doing the worm. But I’m not mad at it. [Jezebel]
I’m an an undomestic goddess of the highest order. I believe I’ve mentioned that I hate to cook so you probably wouldn’t be that surprised to learn that I hate to clean. YET … if you walked into my apartment, you would think it was clean. How do I do make this magical illusion happen? Full disclosure: I do pay someone to deep clean my apartment one to two times a month. It’s the most worthwhile $100 I’ve ever spent. BUT ALSO, I am the master at straightening up. I don’t clean, I straighten. If you’re like me — unwilling to break out a single cleaning product when you’re having company over — then you’ll appreciate my super lazy cleaning tips. Use them well and try not to judge me. Keep reading »
Are any of you guys drunk cleaners? I’m not (I’m more of a drunk napper, myself), but a bunch of my friends are. After a few drinks, they want nothing more than to grab a mop, duster, or sponge and go on an intoxicated neat freak rampage. The next day they wake up to a hangover and a spotless home. Luckies. To celebrate Spring Cleaning Week, I thought it would be fun to come up with a list of drink pairings for drunk cleaners. What’s the best cocktail to sip while vacuuming? Which tropical beverage should you reach for while doing the dishes? Click through to find out!