Every year in the beginning of November, I start panicking about the upcoming holidays and all of the presents I need to get. I have a particularly large family with some especially difficult characters to buy for (and I can only purchase so many checkout aisle tchotchkes), so I usually find myself wandering the ravaged aisles of Target and Marshall’s on Christmas day looking for last-minute gifts. Not this year, my friends… not this year. Keep reading »
YES. I am READY FOR CHRISTMAS. I have a job that pays me more than $10 an hour, ten hours a week this year (couldn’t say that last year), my overall health is in a good place, I’m determined to enjoy the cold weather instead of trudging through it, and my boyfriend and I are moving into a larger-than-studio apartment at the beginning of December, so I’ll actually have space to decorate.
November 1st marked Day 1 of Christmas-music-only radio stations, and Christmas items are already stocked in Walgreens, so basically, it’s Christmas now. Here are the things I’m looking forward to most… Keep reading »
Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Look no further: For just $475,000, Neiman Marcus is offering the chance to design a perfume with an expert in Paris. Your fragrance will come in 14-karat gold bottles, the Dallas Morning News reports. If that doesn’t strike your fancy, perhaps one of the store’s other nine fantasy gifts, all part of this year’s exercise-in-extravagance Christmas Book, will. Read more on Newser…
Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
First up, how to dump some who uses you as a personal taxi service: Keep reading »
According to the Daily Mail, retailers in the UK are churning out their holiday decorations already, and it is an OMG Big Deal to shoppers. I have no idea whether this is a brand new trend or a yearly thing, but I’m weirdly inspired by it. Usually, I get disgusted when retailers drum up anxiety about upcoming shopping events, like when back-to-school season begins in July (let me enjoy summer in peace!), but maybe holiday shopping should be done in the summertime. Think about it how nice it could be to leisurely go about making gift purchases in sunny weather without an ever-looming time limit for finding the perfect present for that one friend who’s impossible to shop for. Wouldn’t it be awesome to be space out the big chunks of cash you spend on presents over several months instead of doling out the usual harried lump sum you end up putting on your credit card on December 23? Even better is the thought of having a big reserve pile of Christmas cards stashed away in my apartment before November even arrives. The holiday season, in my mind, is generally a big stress-filled blur, and that clouds my decision-making abilities when it comes to gift shopping. In December, the mall crowds are awful, the weather is horrific, many of us are facing the seasonal blues. That time of year, all I want is to curl up under a blanket or actually celebrate the holidays with loved ones instead of wasting time shopping for it. Because of all that seasonal baggage, I rush into buying overpriced presents just to get it over and done with. We can all do better than this! Keep reading »
UPDATE: J/K! As commenters have kindly informed us, this is actually from a Canadian humor site. Should have known. Stories like this only happen in Florida. — Amelia
Tracy Walters of Dayton, Ohio, was one of the 42 percent of women disappointed by the Christmas gift her husband gave her this year. Instead of finding a tactful way to exchange her crock pot and cheap lingerie, the 34-year-old raged out and set her husband Dave’s 2013 Chevy Silverado Crew Cab on fire.
Police arrived on the scene to find Waters throwing her husband’s clothing on the flames to fuel the fire.
“He gave me a slow-cooker and these red nylon crotchless panties with a push-up bra. The bra had tassels for fuck sake. Tassels!” she screamed.
Yikes. Tassels. Keep reading »