Should someone tell the Johnson family that they have a very merry penis on their front lawn? Nah. Might as well let Christmas keep coming until New Year’s. [Sofa Pizza]
It’s fun to receive a gift you ask for, but, in my opinion, it’s more fun to receive a gift you didn’t ask for, and be astounded by how well chosen it was. My friend Nick gifted me the soundtrack to the 1979 film “The Main Event” on vinyl. For those of you who missed this gem, it’s a “glove story” starring Barbara Streisand and Ryan O’ Neal. Yes, there is boxing involved and Babs wears those little shorts where her butt hangs out the bottom. But the important thing to note is that the soundtrack is Barbara’s foray into disco music. Yessss! And, my friends, there is a track called “I’d Clean A Fish For You.” If that’s not “glove,” than I don’t know what is. I have never met anyone I would clean a fish for. No gift could have made me giddier and I didn’t even know I wanted it. Tell us about the best gift you received this holiday season in the comments.
Wherever your Chinese restaurant may be, please know that the Chinese Restaurant Association of America (if that in fact exists) supports your consumptions of Chinese food on Christmas. [Happy Place]
There’s nothing cats hate more than being dressed up in festive costumes. Seriously? Look at the miserable kitty faces in this collection of Santa cats — the disdain is practically dripping off their furry little bodies. And that’s what makes Christmas cats so much fun.
You’re not feeling Christmas? Chances are you’re not not feeling Christmas as much as these homeowners. [Passive Aggressive Notes]
Happy Christmas Eve! I fell down an insane nail art rabbit hole and have emerged covered in tinsel, Christmas lights, and gilded snowflakes. People are serious about their nail art, especially around the holidays. Click through for 20 insanely festive Christmas-themed manicures.
Well, isn’t this sweet: some wonderful people are anonymously offering to pay for strangers’ layaway items at random Kmarts across the country. The Kmart layaway program, which helps struggling families pay for items over a length of time rather than all at once, has seen record numbers of anonymous donations come in from strangers wanting to give holiday cheer to people in their communities. Keep reading »
The current historic economic nosedive has two unintended consequences. One of them is that hobos just aren’t really cute anymore. Maybe they never were. All these years I thought they were adorable dirty clowns, carrying little bundles tied to the ends of sticks. I never realized those bundles were full of cans of beans and broken dreams. Keep reading »
Sarah Palin has a beef with the presidential Christmas card: a simple portrait of the Obamas’ dog Bo by the fireplace with the line “From our family to yours, may your holidays shine with the light of the season.” The puppy-pooh-poohing politico told Fox News it is “odd” that the Obamas’ card depicts Bo instead of “family, faith and freedom” — which is what all of us are aiming for when we take our holiday pics at GlamourShots, amirite? Palin also said (yes, she kept talking) that Americans can appreciate “American foundational values illustrated and displayed on Christmas cards and on a Christmas tree,” so why can’t the First Family? I’m pretty sure her rant is supposed to translate to “Muslim Muslim Muslim Muslim Muslim COMMUNIST.”
Girlfriend needs to take a chill pill or Santa is going to put a lump of coal in her stocking. [Los Angeles Times] Keep reading »