I have a new favorite Christmas song that I firmly believe should take the place of “Christmas Shoes” on every radio station during the holiday season. (Let’s be honest, that song is hella depressing and has no place wedged in between “Jingle Bells” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You.”) Kristen Bell joined a cappella group Straight No Chaser to create a modern day Christmas carol called “Text Me Merry Christmas,” which basically sums up every interaction I’ve had on December 25th for the last five years.
Text me Merry Christmas/ Send a selfie too/ If you do, I’ll go ‘Neath the mistletoe/ And pretend my screen is you/ Show me that you love me/ Text xo to kiss and hug me/ I’ll be right here waiting/ For my pants to start vibrating.
Check out the music video for the (fingers crossed) new holiday classic, and view the full lyrics after the jump! “Text Me Merry Christmas” will be available on iTunes tonight at midnight, so get your texting fingers ready. Keep reading »
My parents separated during my senior year of high school. That was bad enough, not because I was upset at the time about them separating, but because that first holiday season was weird — my dad was there, but only begrudgingly on my mom’s part — and once the divorce proceedings started and things got ugly, we started having to split up the holidays. My dad had moved to Madison, Wisconsin, while my mom had the house in a Chicago suburb that we’d grown up in, so it was easier for my sisters and I to do Christmas stuff with my mom. But it was a balancing act.
It got worse when I got into a relationship with my now-ex, the year I graduated from high school, because his family was intensely territorial about holidays and easily offended. So I had to see my dad, I had to see my mom and sisters, I had to see my ex’s mom and siblings, and, if possible, we’d spend time with his dad, too, but not always. Two sets of divorced parents is a pain in the ass. It’s bad when it’s two sets of parents, period, but four gets extreme. My dad has learned to work around this problem by doing family get-togethers before or after the actual holiday. Keep reading »
Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2014 holiday gift guide is out, and it’s about as ridiculous as you’d expect. E! and ETOnline both added up the total cost of all the items on it (not including those listed as “price upon request”), and E! came up with $109,384 while ET came up with $107,309.49. By Newser’s count, there are 212 items in the guide not listed as “price upon request,” making the average cost per item about $511. Read more on Newser…
Every year in the beginning of November, I start panicking about the upcoming holidays and all of the presents I need to get. I have a particularly large family with some especially difficult characters to buy for (and I can only purchase so many checkout aisle tchotchkes), so I usually find myself wandering the ravaged aisles of Target and Marshall’s on Christmas day looking for last-minute gifts. Not this year, my friends… not this year. Keep reading »
YES. I am READY FOR CHRISTMAS. I have a job that pays me more than $10 an hour, ten hours a week this year (couldn’t say that last year), my overall health is in a good place, I’m determined to enjoy the cold weather instead of trudging through it, and my boyfriend and I are moving into a larger-than-studio apartment at the beginning of December, so I’ll actually have space to decorate.
November 1st marked Day 1 of Christmas-music-only radio stations, and Christmas items are already stocked in Walgreens, so basically, it’s Christmas now. Here are the things I’m looking forward to most… Keep reading »
Looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Look no further: For just $475,000, Neiman Marcus is offering the chance to design a perfume with an expert in Paris. Your fragrance will come in 14-karat gold bottles, the Dallas Morning News reports. If that doesn’t strike your fancy, perhaps one of the store’s other nine fantasy gifts, all part of this year’s exercise-in-extravagance Christmas Book, will. Read more on Newser…