As we struggle to find that perfect gift, ever so many of us will fail. As a service to everyone you even pretend to care about, I’m offering you this list of what not to buy. Consider it an anti-gift guide. I have no idea what your family likes, but I know what they hate, because no one likes this shit. Read more on Cracked…
In addition to telling you what we really want to find under the tree, we’re also sharing what we’re gifting our loved ones with for Christmas this year. Click on through to see some of the gifts I’m buying for friends and family, and if you happen to be one of my friends or family members, consider this your CHRISTMAS SPOILER ALERT and stop reading now. Thanks.
Why We Love It: It’s the perfect stocking stuffer for your somebunny special (see what we did there?). This little kit includes a personal mini massager, a Screaming O vibrating ring, three One® condoms and three Wet® personal lubricant packs. So if you’re traveling for the holidays, you have no excuse not to get it on. [$24.99, Bunnyjuice] Keep reading »
I loooove the holidays. But that doesn’t make the lead-up any less of a bitch. The older I get, the more I find how unforgiving this season can be. When I was a little girl, I never understood why some of the grown-ups in my life seemed to dread it so much.
An English professor once told me that the biggest theme of my life is trying to resist disillusionment even though the world makes no effort to hide what an ugly, unfair place it can be. Call me melodramatic, but is there any better way to describe the typical struggle we face when it comes to getting through the holidays? On the surface, it’s a happy, cheerful time of year. We want to enjoy it, but on the other hand, it’s pretty damn treacherous. Spending time in close quarters with family members that you only see once a year is stressful. So is the pressure to pick out the perfect gifts, to be a great hostess, and to somehow make your bank account survive it all. Keep reading »
We always have high hopes for the romantic and sexual potential of the holidays. Snow is falling, fires are burning (both literally and figuratively), and we’re ready to get it on! Sadly though, like so many other aspects of the holidays, the reality of our yuletide hookups often looks much, much different than our expectations, and not in a good way. Let’s break down the divergence of fantasy and reality in painfully graphic detail, shall we? Keep reading »
It’s no secret that we love cats around here. (And you, too, Lucca!) What better way to show our love to our feline friends than to decorate our Christmas trees and tabletops with some kitty cheer?
Just, um, maybe not these ones.
[Image of cat wearing a Santa Claus hat via Shutterstock]