Why We Love It: Because sometimes you just need some really good oral sex— and this is a toy for both men and women! Ten velvety-soft silicone “tongues” move in a rapid flicker that mimic oral sex for use on your clit, nipples, anus, perineum, balls or penis. It may look a little frightening, but trust us … don’t judge a book by it’s cover. It barely makes a sound and is also splash proof, in case you want a shower buddy. [$59, Babeland] Keep reading »
It’s that magical time of year when we all gather together with our friends and family and rewatch the Christmas movies that we’ve all seen fourteen thousand times. Snuggled under a blanket, with a mug of hot cocoa in our hands, it certainly does feels like the most wonderful time of year. In an effort to add to the magic, we took it upon ourselves to recut “The Santa Clause” as a thriller. Because if you think about it, the movie’s actually full of heart stopping action. Seriously.
Man finds dead Santa Clause. Man steals his clothes right away. Man turns into Santa Clause. Man fails to convince doctors that his extreme weight gain and more extreme facial hair growth speed is of medical concern. Man kidnaps son. Man convinces his ex- wife he is Santa Clause and she still prefers boring dude with bad taste in sweaters. Man never gets his weight back under control.
Did reading that put you on the edge of your seat? Well wait until you watch “The Santa Clause: A Christmas Thriller” on Crushable …
Why We Love It: It’s the vibrator Charlotte fell in love with on “Sex and the City”! This is the elastomer version of the original Rabbit Pearl from SATC, which has a rotating shaft for your G-spot, shuffling pearls to arouse your opening and a vibrating rabbit for clit stimulation. Rabbits are a masturbation staple for the ladies! [$79.95, The Pleasure Chest] Keep reading »
How’s this for a nightmare scenario: a friend is over and suddenly thrusts a beautifully-wrapped gift in your face and you had no idea she was expecting to exchange presents. Or your family agreed to just give presents to the children this year, but your showoff-y sister just arrived with handmade DIY presents for everybody. Quick, it’s time to take a peek around the house for last-minute things you can re-gift! Keep reading »
As we struggle to find that perfect gift, ever so many of us will fail. As a service to everyone you even pretend to care about, I’m offering you this list of what not to buy. Consider it an anti-gift guide. I have no idea what your family likes, but I know what they hate, because no one likes this shit. Read more on Cracked…
In addition to telling you what we really want to find under the tree, we’re also sharing what we’re gifting our loved ones with for Christmas this year. Click on through to see some of the gifts I’m buying for friends and family, and if you happen to be one of my friends or family members, consider this your CHRISTMAS SPOILER ALERT and stop reading now. Thanks.