christmas - Page 14

Baby, It’s Consensual Outside

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is the most squirmy of Christmas songs. It’s supposed to be a cute duet between a woman and a man who wants her to stay longer, clearly written during a time period when a woman’s “reputation” for not having casual sex truly mattered. As such, the lyrics are pretty date rapey,… More »


Online Retail Therapy: Tons Of Cyber Monday Deals Await!

If the thought of going to the mall on Black Friday completely freaked you out, take heart. Today is the second biggest holiday shopping day of the year, but you can participate without even leaving the comfort of your own laptop. After the jump, tons of Cyber Monday deals. And if you’ve found one we… More »


Men Are Merry-Less in Sexist Christmas Ad

Add one more advertisement to the slew of commercials stereotyping men and women. Asda, a British supermarket, debuted a new ad for the Christmas holidays, featuring a mother running herself ragged, creating the perfect Christmas for her family. Because, you know, that’s what all women do. … More »


10 Tips For Having Sex After Huge Holiday Meals

Dan Savage suggests fucking before dinner. And yeah, that’s probably the best policy when it comes to huge holiday meals like Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. But if you can’t make that happen for whatever reason (and there are plenty of reasons, like FAMILY STRESS), you might find yourself in an emotional place where you needMore »


A Cookie Cake That Accurately Describes November’s Mood

Is it already Christmas where you live? It seems December 25 comes earlier and earlier each year. As a Jew, I kind of love it, because hello, cookies, pine tree smell and holiday carols. But as a critic of capitalism, it’s kind of the worst. Apparently this cake was made by a disgruntled bakery employee… More »


The World’s Littlest Toilet Lover Gets A New Bowl For Christmas

Little Dustin Kruses knows a good toilet when he sees one on a Kohler Design Center Tour (sponsored by Kohler). His obsession started with port-a-potties and grew into a full-fledged “love of toilets.” All the 4-year-old wanted from Santa this Christmas was a Kohler half-life duel flush. Because not only is it “great” but it… More »


The Money Shot: Christmas Is Busting Out All Over

Should someone tell the Johnson family that they have a very merry penis on their front lawn?  Nah. Might as well let Christmas keep coming until New Year’s. [Sofa Pizza] … More »


What Was The Best Holiday Gift You Received?

It’s fun to receive a gift you ask for, but, in my opinion, it’s more fun to receive a gift you didn’t ask for, and be astounded by how well chosen it was. My friend Nick gifted me  the soundtrack to the 1979 film “The Main Event” on vinyl. For those of you who missed… More »


A Positive Holiday Statement On Chinese/Jewish Relations

Wherever your Chinese restaurant may be, please know that the Chinese Restaurant Association of America (if that in fact exists) supports your consumptions of Chinese food on Christmas. [Happy Place] … More »


10 Completely Miserable Christmas Cats

There’s nothing cats hate more than being dressed up in festive costumes. Seriously? Look at the miserable kitty faces in this collection of Santa cats — the disdain is practically dripping off their furry little bodies. And that’s what makes Christmas cats so much fun.  … More »


It’s A Christmas Meh-ricle

You’re not feeling Christmas? Chances are you’re not not feeling Christmas as much as these homeowners. [Passive Aggressive Notes] … More »


20 Incredibly Festive Christmas Manicures

Happy Christmas Eve! I fell down an insane nail art rabbit hole and have emerged covered in tinsel, Christmas lights, and gilded snowflakes. People are serious about their nail art, especially around the holidays. Click through for 20 insanely festive Christmas-themed manicures. … More »


It’s Time To Cry: Anonymous Donors Are Paying For Strangers’ Layaways

Well, isn’t this sweet: some wonderful people are anonymously offering to pay for strangers’ layaway items at random Kmarts across the country. The Kmart layaway program, which helps struggling families pay for items over a length of time rather than all at once, has seen record numbers of anonymous donations come in from strangers wanting to give holiday… More »


Mind Of Man: The Gift That Will Get You Laid

The current historic economic nosedive has two unintended consequences. One of them is that hobos just aren’t really cute anymore. Maybe they never were. All these years I thought they were adorable dirty clowns, carrying little bundles tied to the ends of sticks. I never realized those bundles were full of cans of beans and… More »


Sarah Palin Pooh-Poohs The Obama Christmas Card

Sarah Palin has a beef with the presidential Christmas card: a simple portrait of the Obamas’ dog Bo by the fireplace with the line “From our family to yours, may your holidays shine with the light of the season.”  The puppy-pooh-poohing politico told Fox News it is “odd” that the Obamas’ card depicts Bo instead of… More »


Heidi Klum Goes Pantsless As Santa Claus

Courtney Stodden isn’t the only one getting into the Christmas spirit! Heidi Klum tweeted this photo of herself wearing a Santa costume — but where are her pants? It’s cold in the North Pole. Oh, and here are some other celeb Santas — some dressed more appropriately for the weather than others. … More »


3 Modernized Christmas Carols To Celebrate Awkward Family Time

Christmas carols are nice, but they’re a little out of touch with the realities of modern life, don’t you think? I mean, red-nosed reindeer, frosty snowmen, jingling bells, and little drummer boys? Whatever. I think it’s time for an update. Ready to sing about real holiday topics like awkward political discussions, chaste sleeping arrangements, and… More »


Holiday Survival Guide: 6 Tips For Dealing With The Holidays When You’ve Lost A Loved One

The holidays suck extra hard when you’re trying to cope with the loss of a family member, even if you’re not a Grinch by nature. However you define your family, once someone that was an integral part of your warm and fuzzy celebrations is missing, winter brings a feeling of doom and gloom that all… More »


6 Tips For The Token Jew At Christmas Dinner

Happy first night of Hanukkah, fellow members of Tribe! On that note, I’d like to take a few minutes to talk about Christmas. Christmas dinner specifically. Whether it was due to interfaith dating or a lack of funds to travel home for the holidays, I’ve found myself at a number of Christmas celebrations. The nice… More »


The Drunkest Night Before Christmas

Funny or Die’s drunk retelling of “The Night Before Christmas” is like no other Christmas tale you’ve heard. Drunk Allan McLeod recites the poem while Ryan Gosling, Jim Carrey and Eva Mendes attempt to act it out. It looks like someone dipped into the Christmas brandy early. [Funny or Die] … More »


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