I have a new favorite Christmas song that I firmly believe should take the place of “Christmas Shoes” on every radio station during the holiday season. (Let’s be honest, that song is hella depressing and has no place wedged in between “Jingle Bells” and “All I Want For Christmas Is You.”) Kristen Bell joined a cappella group Straight No Chaser to create a modern day Christmas carol called “Text Me Merry Christmas,” which basically sums up every interaction I’ve had on December 25th for the last five years.
Text me Merry Christmas/ Send a selfie too/ If you do, I’ll go ‘Neath the mistletoe/ And pretend my screen is you/ Show me that you love me/ Text xo to kiss and hug me/ I’ll be right here waiting/ For my pants to start vibrating.
Check out the music video for the (fingers crossed) new holiday classic, and view the full lyrics after the jump! “Text Me Merry Christmas” will be available on iTunes tonight at midnight, so get your texting fingers ready. Keep reading »
I’ve been listening to Christmas music pretty much exclusively since a few days before Thanksgiving. Yes, I am that person, and I’m not ashamed. I love all Christmas music (literally ALL OF IT), but there are 7 songs that I listen to on repeat pretty much every day, and somehow I never, ever get sick of them. Here they are, in no particular order: Keep reading »
Christmas carols are nice, but they’re a little out of touch with the realities of modern life, don’t you think? I mean, red-nosed reindeer, frosty snowmen, jingling bells, and little drummer boys? Whatever. I think it’s time for an update. Ready to sing about real holiday topics like awkward political discussions, chaste sleeping arrangements, and horrifically bad gifts? Read on for three modernized Christmas carols! Keep reading »
Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber‘s “All I Want For Christmas” duet debuted last night during the Christmas tree lighting at Rockefeller Center. The best I can say about it is “feel good Christmas music” with a questionably appropriate music video.
Now, Mariah Carey is Mariah Carey. High notes and shaking her spray-tanned booty is what she’s about. It is the way of the world. I think her short-short-short Santa outfit in her “All I Want For Christmas” music video with Justin Bieber pushes the line of good taste. But hey, this is a grown woman obsessed with rainbows, stuffed animals and butterflies that we’re talking about.
No, my discomfort with the “All I Want For Christmas” music video is the flirtation between Mariah and Justin Bieber. Keep reading »
Nirvana wasn’t grunge-style disaffected when RuPaul was around. Heck, she even got them to sing “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” together! Aw, weren’t the ’90s precious?
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From The Wetspots, the Canadian swingers/comedic singing duo who have brought you hit singles like “Do You Take It (In The Ass)” and “(Sometimes I Just Want To F**k) Somebody Else,” now comes a new holiday classic: “Just Fist Me This Christmas.” It really is a recession-friendly present, especially since most of us are already takin’ it up the butt from The Man. So, this year, why not make it XXXmas? Keep reading »