Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s divorce, excuse me, conscious uncoupling may sound full of good, peaceful vibes, but a SHOCKING new report from In Touch (grain of salt, blah blah blah) suggests otherwise. According to the gossip mag, Martin was spotted taking his and Paltrow’s two kids, Moses and Apple, to a fast food restaurant where the three of them ate french fries. If that isn’t the most wonderfully specific passive aggressive move ever, I don’t know what is. Paltrow, after all, is a complete psycho about what goes into the temple that is her body and is no doubt as fastidious about what her children eat. Not that I’m advocating for fast food — generally, that shit is gross and bad for you — but it just tickles me that Martin, finally freed from Gwyneth’s oppressive food policies, might have been like, “Hey kids, who wants to consciously couple their stomach with some deep fried starch?” I still hate Coldplay, but damn, Chris has suddenly earned my admiration. [In Touch via Jezebel] [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
Since learning about Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s decision to “consciously uncouple,” we’ve been trying to unpack the term in all its PC glory. It seems that similar to other areas of her life, Gwyneth will be superior when it comes to divorce. So, far we haven’t seen one inkling of sadness, ire or admission that either party was having an affair. Ahem.
According to an anonymous source who spilled the beans to the Daily Mail, even the couple’s decision to get divorced was beyond reproach. Allegedly, the couple agreed to split while vacationing on island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas and instead of exchanging bitter words, they exchanged gifts. The source claims that Chris gave Gwyneth a painting of a bird in flight by Mila Fürstová to “mark the new stage in their lives.” Keep reading »
It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and coparent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.
Gwyneth & Chris
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin just announced in a joint statement that they have decided to separate — “consciously uncouple” — after 10 years of marriage. While I have been known to snark on Gwyneth quite a bit — and was admittedly oh-so-tempted by the phrase “consciously uncouple,” because it is just so GOOP — I appreciate the thoughtfulness of this statement and admire their mutual dedication to their children and respect for each other. (But let’s get real — whose side are Bey and Jay taking?) [GOOP via Defamer]
As much as I do not enjoy Gwyneth Paltrow and rubbed my hands together with glee at the thought of a damning tell-all about the actress/lifestyle guru, I had hoped the secrets would reveal her to be a fraud not a philanderer. But sources are whispering that the much-anticipated Vanity Fair “epic takedown” might reveal that Gwyneth, who’s been married to Chris Martin since 2003, had an affair with Elle Macpherson’s billionaire husband, Jeff Soffer. Keep reading »
Jay Z continues to use public transport even though he’s rich enough to helicopter everywhere. After a gig in London this weekend, Hov was snapped taking the London Underground with pals Chris Martin (Mr. Gwyneth Paltrow and chief Coldplay warbler) and producer Timbaland. Check out one more pic after the jump! [Photos: INFPhoto.com] Keep reading »
Gwyneth Paltrow generally leaves a bad taste in my mouth — a taste eerily reminiscent of wilted kale — but I am capable of appreciating aspects of her personality that are actually kind of endearing. Like the solid effort she put into the embarrassing task of imitating famous rappers like Jay-Z, Kanye West and Macklemore, on “Ellen” yesterday. Her Beyonce isn’t bad either. But that Chris Martin impression needs work.
I must admit, not a day goes by where I don’t wake up feeling just a tiny bit pissed off that Gwyneth Paltrow is BFFs with Jay-Z and Beyonce. And husband Chris Martin reaps the rewards! On New Year’s Eve, Coldplay and Jay-Z co-headlined the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, ring in the new year with Jay’z “Run This Town.” In the background, you can see Gwyneth gettin’ down with her fierce white lady moves. (I’m not judging, really — I went to see Phish TWICE this weekend and have never danced so white in my life.) And on stage you can also see kids Apple and Moses dancing as well. I’m not so jealous of Gwyneth’s friendship with the Carters that I can’t admit that’s pretty cute. [NYMag.com]