A tough-ass koala that survived predators, life in the wild, and even the terrible brush fires that devastated 2,000 homes and killed hundreds of Australians, couldn’t beat chlamydia. Samantha, the four-year-old eucalyptus-loving koala, sadly passed away today from the STD. After surviving the traumatic blaze, Sam became a symbol of hope for the country that suffered so much loss when a firefighter rescued her burned body live on television.

Want a new iPod? Or a Wii? Or a Fujitsu laptop? Get tested for STDs! In a new attempt to get England’s sexually rampant youth out of the bedroom and into a clinic, Britain’s National Health Service is entering folks who get tested in raffles for expensive high-tech toys and even weekend getaways. Why? Because there’s been a serious chlamydia outbreak there lately, and the disease is now the number one STD in the country. The NHS is dipping into taxpayer’s money, practically bribing folks to get tested. [Daily Mail] 

April is STD Awareness Month, and we asked you to share your STD-related stories so we could learn from your each other’s mistakes. If you have a tale involving sores, Valtrex, or a judgy gynecologist, send an email to tips@thefrisky.com. We will keep your identity anonymous.

I picked it up from a girl one drunken, unprotected night at the New Jersey Shore (figures) over Labor Day weekend. Symptoms appeared, on schedule, the morning of the fourth day. While there wasn’t any discharge, urinating was excruciatingly painful—like no other pain I have felt before or since. It was so painful that I stupidly refrained from urinating for about 24 hours. At that point the pain from my swollen bladder began overwhelming the pain I would felt while urinating, so I starting going in little spurts. That was taking too long, so I decided to try to numb my penis by placing it in a bowl of ice water. Again, dumb idea. Not only was that separately excruciating, it did nothing to ease the pain of my inflamed urethra.

Yikes—19 million STD infections occur each year according to the Center for Disease Control’s NEW report this week. The numbers from 2007 are in and the stats are a total bummer. Gonorrhea and chlamydia, the most common STDs, recorded the largest number of known cases to date, 1.5 million according to the most recent assessment. However, the government agency thinks that’s a low estimate, and suspect that there are actually twice as many people who are carrying the infections. Agh! Unfortunately, the infections often go undiagnosed because they can be asymptomatic. While gonorrhea and chlamydia frequently come together in one big STD package, they are both cured with antibiotics. However, if someone isn’t a responsible sexy time partner and doesn’t get tested regularly, the diseases can wreak havoc and even do things jeopardize your ability to get pregnant. Since young women, age 15-34, are in the highest risk categories, it’s essential that we take care of our business!  Go visit the gyno and let them smear your pap, why dontcha?!  [CDC]

You can get anything from the Internet, even an STD! RevengeCrabs.com is a site dedicated to selling spurned lovers genital lice, otherwise known as crabs.  If you thought your breakup fight had bite, it’s got nothing on what these lil’ buggers can do once they start snapping at a crotch. The eggs are so cheap and easy to purchase and use, this “settling the score” is sadistic like nothing else we’ve ever seen! And the mad scientists behind this lab have already expanded their line of lice to include shampoo resistant super crabs, bedbugs, and are even working on developing chlamydia and the clap for consumer use. But what could drive someone to go to this kind of extreme, let alone develop a business plan?  These CEO frat bros claim they all got crabs back in college by the same woman and now they want revenge on the world. Even scarier, they promise this kind of payback is totally legal. Right…. Oh yeah, and just to add that extra creep factor, they offer school children tours of their facilities.  We’re itchy just thinking about these buggin’ business dirt bags. [Trend Hunter]

When your stiff doctor with cold hands and a lab coat asks you about your sex life, it’s hard to ‘fess up to all the craziness. After all, you don’t necessarily want every single one of your cooter’s conquests be on your permanent record.  But a new study has shown that even though it’s easily cured with antibiotics, cases of Chlamydia are on the rise and it’s all our fault.  When you fudge your numbers to your GP, you may think it’s a harmless white lie, but it actually affects how you’re treated.  Docs only screen for Chlamydia if they think the patient is possibly at risk because they’ve had multiple partners.  Now you may argue you don’t have any symptoms to speak of, but 70-to-75% of Chlamydia cases are asymptomatic. So while you think you may know, you could have no idea. [About.com]

1. Chlamydia is really common, but I don’t think anyone I know has told me they’ve had it. But they must have told someone, because Chlamydia is the most frequently reported STD in the US. In 2006, there were over a million reported cases. Eww. Teenagers and young women are more susceptible to infection because the cervix has not fully matured and gets infections more easily. Careful out there, Hannah Montana!

I’ve already told you I’ve had HPV. I’ve managed to steer clear of any other STIs, but I know many people who have had herpes, crabs, gonorrhea, or chlamydia. What about you? Take our poll—don’t worry, all results are of course anonymous.

Ding, ding, ding! The United States, the most developed country in the western world, has won the title of Chlamydia Queen, diagnosing a record 1 million cases last year. Eww. That’s the most ever for any sexually transmitted disease. Even better? Gonorrhea is on the rise as well, and an increasing number of those cases are of the super bug variety, which is resistant to most antibiotics. God, crotch rot is such an overachiever—it’s like the girl you hated in high school who got straight As, was saledictorian, dated the hottest dude in school, and won prom queen…only crotch rot isn’t nearly as pretty. [MSNBC]