I met Donny* for a drink at 6 p.m. on a Sunday. When I walked into the deserted restaurant, soaked from the downpour outside, I didn’t know he was destined to become the pettiest, stingiest and most pitiable man I’ve ever gone out with. Keep reading »
Most of us would like to think that if we saw a pregnant, elderly or handicapped person on the train or subway, we would offer up our seat in a jiffy. But a nifty social experiment done on the New York City subway by Elizabeth Carey Smith of Brooklyn, New York, during her recent pregnancy found that while she was offered a seat the majority of the time, good manners were not guaranteed. Keep reading »
It’s Women’s History Month, sisters, but you wouldn’t know it based on one women’s group’s plans. The Network of Enlightened Women, a conservative group, is hosting its annual Gentleman’s Showcase on college campuses during the month of March. The Gentleman’s Showcase seeks to honor young men who “behave like gentlemen” based on a set of criteria — both general and specific — explained on NEW’s web site. Young men have been nominated in the past by women because they carried groceries, shoveled snow, opened doors and other so-called “gentlemanly” behavior. There is no prize, per se, but the accolades of conservative women everywhere!
While I don’t know why NEW has to co-opt Women’s History Month for their Gentleman’s Showcase, nor do I agree that traditional gender roles should be enforced on anyone, I don’t inherently think the idea of positively acknowledging “nice guys” on college campuses is a terrible idea. Keep reading »
My freshman year of college, I went on a date with a guy to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan. It was the kind of place with a white tablecloth, where a busboy scraped the crumbs off the table with a comb once your plates were removed and the maitre’d pulled out women’s chairs for them. That’s where I made my big statement: the maitre’d pulled out a chair for me and I walked around to the other chair, pulled it out for myself and sat down. I wasn’t just being rude; I thought I was making a point about how I — and by extension all women — didn’t need to be treated with chivalry. Keep reading »
Whether a man is opening the door for a woman, sliding the chair away from the table so she can sit down, paying for her dinner on the first date, giving up a seat for a her, or simply allowing the woman to enter the elevator first, these are all common examples of chivalry. Whoever said chivalry was dead, clearly doesn’t live in the south where it is still alive and kicking. Every single day, I’m experiencing chivalrous acts by men—most of whom I don’t even know! This was beautiful to me—until I started reading some studies created around chivalry… Keep reading »
It never ceases to amaze me, the myriad of ways dudes manage to f**k up dates before they’ve even begun. I don’t want to walk into a first date with a bad attitude, but if he has the gall to ask me out and then say, “Pick a place, but make sure it’s cheap,” I kind of can’t help it. I’m not the kind of bitch who picks Chez Chic-Chic for a first date, but if you’re on a budget, why don’t you pick, dickwad? Anyhoo, though I make a decent living complaining about men on the internet, I do like to pay it forward by giving unsolicited advice. Here are ten ways a dude can ensure a date is going to be a slam dunk before it’s even begun. Keep reading »
That’s Jessica Simpson arriving at LAX. That’s her boyfriend, Eric Johnson, walking in front of her. Those are her three bags. My only question: Can’t he hold one of her bags? Call me old-fashioned, but I think it would have been a nice gesture if he held one of her bags. But then again, my mom always told me as a child not to bring it if I can’t carry it. [L.A., 7/14/10] Keep reading »
Teacher Cord Ivanyi, a Latin instructor at Gilbert Classical Academy, was tired of seeing boys physically push aside girls as they rushed through the classroom door. So at the beginning of this school year, Ivanyi told his students the new classroom rules about chivalry: boys would hold doors for girls; boys would ask girls if they would like to be seated; boys would offer to take girls’ backpacks before they sit down; boys would stand if a girl leaves the room; and girls would be served first if food is in the classroom.
“All boys will understand chivalry,” Ivanyi told The Arizona Republic. “It’s teaching them social grace. It’s things they should know when they do go out on dates.” All the students, boys and girls, were reportedly awkward about the mandated chivalry at first. But Ivanyi, as well as girls quoted by various media outlets, say girls seem to be enjoying the chivalry and some chivalrous behavior is even extending beyond the classroom.
Mandated chivalry may be a well-intentioned idea. And it may well have taught some kids to be conscious of the basic concept of good manners, which is to be considerate of others’ well-being. But mandating chivalry in the classroom could not be a more misguided set of rules. Keep reading »