Tag Archives: chivalry

Girl Talk: My Newfound Respect For Chivalry

Jessica WakemanJanuary 31, 2011 //

My freshman year of college, I went on a date with a guy to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan. It was the kind of place with a white tablecloth, where a busboy scraped the crumbs off the table with a comb once your plates were removed and the maitre’d pulled out women’s chairs for them. That’s where I made my big statement: the maitre’d pulled out a chair for me and I walked around to the other chair, pulled it out for myself and sat down. I wasn’t just being rude; I thought I was making a point about how I — and by extension all women — didn’t need to be treated with chivalry. Keep reading »

Is Chivalry Only For Men? I Don’t Think So, Ladies!

YourTango.comJanuary 22, 2011 //

Whether a man is opening the door for a woman, sliding the chair away from the table so she can sit down, paying for her dinner on the first date, giving up a seat for a her, or simply allowing the woman to enter the elevator first, these are all common examples of chivalry. Whoever said chivalry was dead, clearly doesn’t live in the south where it is still alive and kicking. Every single day, I’m experiencing chivalrous acts by men—most of whom I don’t even know! This was beautiful to me—until I started reading some studies created around chivalry… Keep reading »

10 Ways Guys Can Ensure A Successful Date Before It Begins

Amelia McDonell-ParryDecember 7, 2010 //

It never ceases to amaze me, the myriad of ways dudes manage to f**k up dates before they’ve even begun. I don’t want to walk into a first date with a bad attitude, but if he has the gall to ask me out and then say, “Pick a place, but make sure it’s cheap,” I kind of can’t help it. I’m not the kind of bitch who picks Chez Chic-Chic for a first date, but if you’re on a budget, why don’t you pick, dickwad? Anyhoo, though I make a decent living complaining about men on the internet, I do like to pay it forward by giving unsolicited advice. Here are ten ways a dude can ensure a date is going to be a slam dunk before it’s even begun. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Refuses To Pay For Our Dates”

Wendy AtterberryAugust 13, 2010 //

I recently started dating my best guy friend at school. We’ve had feelings for each other for months, have been together for about two months now, and are very much in love. I only have one qualm in the relationship, and I’m not even sure I have the right to have it. I’ve been raised with a more traditional view of dating, where the guy pays for dates and sort of “woos” the girl — at least in the beginning. All of the other guys I’ve dated have subscribed to this, and I feel pressure from my family and friends to be in a relationship with these roles. While I’m okay with the guy not paying for everything, I feel like at the beginning of the relationship, at least, the guy should take the girl on dates. But my boyfriend strongly disagrees with this point of view, and whenever we go out, we split everything. I’m okay with this being the norm eventually, but it sort of feels like how we used to go out to dinner and do things when we were just friends. It’s not about me not wanting to spend money; it’s more of a respect/chivalry/tradition thing that I want. Does it seem entitled or wrong that I think maybe he should be taking me out on dates? He’s explicitly expressed his point of view, but I haven’t had the guts to tell him I disagree. Should I bring it up? How could I approach it? — Traditionalist

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Can’t Eric Johnson Hold One Of Jessica Simpson’s Bags?

Annika HarrisJuly 15, 2010 //

That’s Jessica Simpson arriving at LAX. That’s her boyfriend, Eric Johnson, walking in front of her. Those are her three bags. My only question: Can’t he hold one of her bags? Call me old-fashioned, but I think it would have been a nice gesture if he held one of her bags. But then again, my mom always told me as a child not to bring it if I can’t carry it. [L.A., 7/14/10] Keep reading »

Arizona Teacher Makes Chivalry A Classroom Rule

Jessica WakemanApril 1, 2010 //
chivalry photo

Teacher Cord Ivanyi, a Latin instructor at Gilbert Classical Academy, was tired of seeing boys physically push aside girls as they rushed through the classroom door. So at the beginning of this school year, Ivanyi told his students the new classroom rules about chivalry: boys would hold doors for girls; boys would ask girls if they would like to be seated; boys would offer to take girls’ backpacks before they sit down; boys would stand if a girl leaves the room; and girls would be served first if food is in the classroom.

“All boys will understand chivalry,” Ivanyi told The Arizona Republic. “It’s teaching them social grace. It’s things they should know when they do go out on dates.” All the students, boys and girls, were reportedly awkward about the mandated chivalry at first. But Ivanyi, as well as girls quoted by various media outlets, say girls seem to be enjoying the chivalry and some chivalrous behavior is even extending beyond the classroom.

Mandated chivalry may be a well-intentioned idea. And it may well have taught some kids to be conscious of the basic concept of good manners, which is to be considerate of others’ well-being. But mandating chivalry in the classroom could not be a more misguided set of rules. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “She Hasn’t Paid For A Single Date Yet”

Wendy AtterberryFebruary 26, 2010 //

I met someone online and we’ve gone out five times. We’ve gone to two nice dinners, brunch, a movie, a night of bar hopping and our first date, which was drinks that lasted until 2 a.m. Things are going pretty well. So far, I’ve paid for everything we’ve done. She hasn’t made so much as a reach for a check. Like Seinfeld once said, “it’s nice to get a reach.” I’m a single father and I have a lot of expenses to deal with. It’s not like I can’t afford her, but I don’t want to feel taken advantage of either. She’s got a good job, so I’m pretty sure she’s not struggling. How do I let her know I don’t like paying all the time, but I’m more then happy paying most of the time? — No One’s Chump

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Mind Of Man: Real Men Buy Flowers

John DeVoreSeptember 30, 2009 //

Men should buy women flowers. They are colorful. They smell nice. And without them, flora would never get laid. To many, purchasing flowers is cliché or corny or tacky. And to others, it’s an outdated ritual in our modern era of gender equality. I’d like to address the men reading this (all five of you): buy the broads flowers. Trust me. And now to all the women reading, who outnumber us dudes 100 to 1: allow the douches in your life to buy you flowers. Trust me. Keep reading »

What Does BMW’s New “Gentleman Function” Do?

Jessica WakemanJuly 27, 2009 //

Some vehicle engineer at BMW thought they’d put a “gentleman function” in the 2009 BMW 750i. What is a “gentleman function,” you ask? On the driver’s side door, there is a switch allowing the driver to adjust the passenger’s seat—forward, backward, up, down.

It registers a “meh” on the chivalry scale. And with a name like the “gentleman function,” it’s clear what kind of genitalia BMW thinks is behind the wheel of their cars. Really, if the BMW did something chivalrous as a “gentleman function,” I’d prefer it paid for dinner. [Edmunds Inside Line] Keep reading »

What Does “Being A Gentleman” Mean These Days?

Jessica WakemanJuly 20, 2009 //
gentleman photo

A few months ago, I accidentally shoved my foot in my mouth on a listserv I participate in. I got a bunch of irritated emails and issued numerous apologies. What did I do? I addressed the women as “ladies.”

Some women hate to be called “ladies,” I came to find out. It’s an outdated word, they said, which brings to mind white gloves, tea sandwiches, and balancing a book atop one’s head for good posture. (Betty Draper on Mad Men, for example.) The directive to “be a lady” or “act like a lady” usually encourages women or girls to become more like a retro gender construct—polite, smiling, quiet, compliant, modest, presentable—and they want nothing to do with it. I just assumed that because the word was so outdated, it meant nothing—and I was wrong.

So now I’m wondering, of course, about a lady’s counterpart. If “being a lady” has a stigma attached to it, does “being a gentleman” have a stigma, too? And what does “being a gentleman” even mean these days, anyway? Keep reading »

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