Tag Archives: chivalry

Adventures In Gold Digging

Get Out Of Debt
credit cards photo
Tips for how to get out of debt now! Read More »
Money 101
tighten budget photo
How how meaningfully reduce your expenses. Read More »
Rehab Your Credit
Yes, you can fix your credit rating. Read More »

For reasons unbeknownst to me, Business Insider has published a piece about a young woman in New York City who did something unethical, tempting and all-too-easy: she used the online dating site Match.com to score around $1,200 in free dinners paid for by dates. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: What It Means To Be A Gentleman

Chivalry In School
chivalry photo
An Arizona teacher makes chivalry a classroom rule. Read More »
Define: Gentleman
gentleman photo
What does "gentleman" mean these days, anyway? Read More »
Is Chivalry Sexist?
chivalry photo
Is being a gentleman actually really sexist? Read More »

I came late to appreciating chivalry, which I have written about on The Frisky before. For most of my life, chivalry made me uncomfortable. I’ve always identified as a feminist and Third Wave feminism generally is pretty frosty towards traditional gender roles. But moreso than being a feminist, I felt the same way a lot of modern women (who may or may not identify as feminists) do in that I felt pride of my ability to take care of myself better than my mother can take care of herself. I pay my own bills, I know how to change a tire on a car, I buy my own technology, etc. etc.

However, as I grew older and had more life experiences and more serious relationships, I realized that I liked being treated chivalrously. Some of it is that I like the outward displays of both respect and affection; as a person whose job entails the reading of many nasty Internet comments about my beliefs/life choices/appearance, those little loving moments are golden.

Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: He Made Me Mail My Half Of The Bill

Is Chivalry Sexist?
chivalry photo
Is being a gentleman actually really sexist? Read More »

I met Donny* for a drink at 6 p.m. on a Sunday. When I walked into the deserted restaurant, soaked from the downpour outside, I didn’t know he was destined to become the pettiest, stingiest and most pitiable man I’ve ever gone out with. Keep reading »

Pregnant Commuter Kept Track Of How Much You Suck At Giving Up Your Seat

Most of us would like to think that if we saw a pregnant, elderly or handicapped person on the train or subway, we would offer up our seat in a jiffy. But a nifty social experiment done on the New York City subway by Elizabeth Carey Smith of Brooklyn, New York, during her recent pregnancy found that while she was offered a seat the majority of the time, good manners were not guaranteed. Keep reading »

Conservative Women To Honor “Gentlemen” On Campus This March

It’s Women’s History Month, sisters, but you wouldn’t know it based on one women’s group’s plans. The Network of Enlightened Women, a conservative group, is hosting its annual Gentleman’s Showcase on college campuses during the month of March. The Gentleman’s Showcase seeks to honor young men who “behave like gentlemen” based on a set of criteria — both general and specific — explained on NEW’s web site. Young men have been nominated in the past by women because they carried groceries, shoveled snow, opened doors and other so-called “gentlemanly” behavior. There is no prize, per se, but the accolades of conservative women everywhere!

While I don’t know why NEW has to co-opt Women’s History Month for their Gentleman’s Showcase, nor do I agree that traditional gender roles should be enforced on anyone, I don’t inherently think the idea of positively acknowledging “nice guys” on college campuses is a terrible idea. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: My Newfound Respect For Chivalry

My freshman year of college, I went on a date with a guy to a fancy restaurant in Manhattan. It was the kind of place with a white tablecloth, where a busboy scraped the crumbs off the table with a comb once your plates were removed and the maitre’d pulled out women’s chairs for them. That’s where I made my big statement: the maitre’d pulled out a chair for me and I walked around to the other chair, pulled it out for myself and sat down. I wasn’t just being rude; I thought I was making a point about how I — and by extension all women — didn’t need to be treated with chivalry. Keep reading »

Is Chivalry Only For Men? I Don’t Think So, Ladies!

Whether a man is opening the door for a woman, sliding the chair away from the table so she can sit down, paying for her dinner on the first date, giving up a seat for a her, or simply allowing the woman to enter the elevator first, these are all common examples of chivalry. Whoever said chivalry was dead, clearly doesn’t live in the south where it is still alive and kicking. Every single day, I’m experiencing chivalrous acts by men—most of whom I don’t even know! This was beautiful to me—until I started reading some studies created around chivalry… Keep reading »

10 Ways Guys Can Ensure A Successful Date Before It Begins

It never ceases to amaze me, the myriad of ways dudes manage to f**k up dates before they’ve even begun. I don’t want to walk into a first date with a bad attitude, but if he has the gall to ask me out and then say, “Pick a place, but make sure it’s cheap,” I kind of can’t help it. I’m not the kind of bitch who picks Chez Chic-Chic for a first date, but if you’re on a budget, why don’t you pick, dickwad? Anyhoo, though I make a decent living complaining about men on the internet, I do like to pay it forward by giving unsolicited advice. Here are ten ways a dude can ensure a date is going to be a slam dunk before it’s even begun. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Refuses To Pay For Our Dates”

I recently started dating my best guy friend at school. We’ve had feelings for each other for months, have been together for about two months now, and are very much in love. I only have one qualm in the relationship, and I’m not even sure I have the right to have it. I’ve been raised with a more traditional view of dating, where the guy pays for dates and sort of “woos” the girl — at least in the beginning. All of the other guys I’ve dated have subscribed to this, and I feel pressure from my family and friends to be in a relationship with these roles. While I’m okay with the guy not paying for everything, I feel like at the beginning of the relationship, at least, the guy should take the girl on dates. But my boyfriend strongly disagrees with this point of view, and whenever we go out, we split everything. I’m okay with this being the norm eventually, but it sort of feels like how we used to go out to dinner and do things when we were just friends. It’s not about me not wanting to spend money; it’s more of a respect/chivalry/tradition thing that I want. Does it seem entitled or wrong that I think maybe he should be taking me out on dates? He’s explicitly expressed his point of view, but I haven’t had the guts to tell him I disagree. Should I bring it up? How could I approach it? — Traditionalist

Keep reading »

Can’t Eric Johnson Hold One Of Jessica Simpson’s Bags?

That’s Jessica Simpson arriving at LAX. That’s her boyfriend, Eric Johnson, walking in front of her. Those are her three bags. My only question: Can’t he hold one of her bags? Call me old-fashioned, but I think it would have been a nice gesture if he held one of her bags. But then again, my mom always told me as a child not to bring it if I can’t carry it. [L.A., 7/14/10] Keep reading »