Back in college — this was the late ’90s mind you — I had a friend who had a friend who who got a massage somewhere in Chinatown that ended with the masseur giving her an orgasm. I never met this girl or talked to her directly, but I accepted this story as truth because of its happy ending (har har), although, I’m fairly certain it was an urban legend. Someone wrote an expose about women who get happy ending massages on the regular. So, I guess it happens, but more than 15 years later, I’ve gotten several massages in Chinatown and I’ve never had a hand go anywhere near my no-no parts. I once heard a man in the next massage stall grunting a little bit. But it just sounded like I’m Getting A Massage Grunting. I’ve never met anyone who’s actually had a happy ending massage or admitted to it. And I guess that even if they did, they might not want to brag about it because it’s considered an act of prostitution in every state but Nevada. Good ‘ol Nevada. But this story isn’t about Nevada where masturbatory services flow like Franzia. It’s about China, and the fact that police there had no idea that happy endings were legal. Keep reading »
See those dark, hairy gams and the suspiciously smooth feet attached to them? If a recent wave of internet stories are to be believed, those furry legs are actually a pair of stockings marketed to young women in China as an “anti-pervert” device. Some news outlets are reporting that the hairy stockings aren’t just a fashion statement — they also “send electric shocks to an attacker and GPS locator coordinates to the woman’s family and friends.” That sounds a bit far-fetched to me, but hey, stranger things have happened. [Social News Daily]
Things I wish I knew in high school: my bra was a clandestine cheating machine. I wore those AAs every single day, but somehow its stealthy secrets eluded my wide-eyed naivety.
Alas, “education chiefs” (not sure exactly what those are) in northeast China have outsmarted adolescent girls yet again. They’re nipping our deceitful ways in the bud by banning high-tech, metal-bearing intimates from being worn during their competitive high school exams. Keep reading »
The story is always the same: officials find it too hard to tell men to control themselves and not sexually harass women, so they place the responsibility and blame on women instead.
In this instance, Chinese police have asked women to refrain from wearing revealing clothing on buses or subways. According to China Daily ,“Women should not wear minimal clothing, such as miniskirts or hot pants when taking public transportation and should call police promptly if they are sexually harassed.” In case women just can’t resist wearing hot pants on the subway, police suggest that women use shopping bags, newspapers, or magazines to cover themselves up. Keep reading »
How do you beat a panda or rhinoceros at its own game? If you’re zookeepers at the Taiyuan Zoo in China’s Shanxi Province, you dress up in furry costumes and pretend to be zoo creatures. Keepers at Taiyuan participated in a drill where one staff member portrayed an escaped bear. (Think: More furry sex party, less grizzly.) And while we can’t comment on the program’s effectiveness, we can say that it definitely looked hilarious. [Digital Spy]
When I think about what might happen if I tried to put a pair of support hose on Colonel Mustard, well, it would not end well. Apparently putting pantyhose on dogs is something of a mini-trend in China. Sorry dogs of China, but these photos manage to meet at the crossroads of hilarious and weird and vaguely unsettling, which makes them perfect. A couple more after the jump!
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A lot of people are curious about what it might be like at their own funeral. Who’d show up? What would they say? Would there be fondue at the wake? Important questions that most of us will never be able to answer. Except for Chinese student Zeng Jia, who staged her own friggin’ funeral while still alive so she could “enjoy it.” Morbid much? Keep reading »
Jessica sent me a link to an article about a trend in China where people dye their dog’s fur to look like another animal, probably thinking I would find it cute. But I don’t and let me tell you why. Okay, sure, I’ll start off by acknowledging that there is obviously something cute about a dog dyed to look like a panda or a tiger. But frankly, this is low hanging cute fruit. Sort of no duh, you know? So with the cuteness, lazy and absurd as it may be, acknowledged, I am here to speak up as an advocate for dogs everywhere: LET PUPS BE PUPS. Your dog is adorable as he or she is naturally and though I am not a dog psychologist, I can only assume physically altering your pooch’s appearance so he or she looks like an entirely different breed of animal is probably pretty bad for the pet-esteem. Do you really want your dog to think, “Mommy wishes I was a Bengal tiger” or “If only I was a real panda, Daddy would love me more”? Of course you don’t. So let’s make a pact on behalf of our pets to not partake in this trend. Deal? And thanks for hearing me out. [Global Post]
Next time you’re feeling like your 500-square-foot studio is unbearably cramped, take a look at this photo of a “cubicle apartment” in Hong Kong. The Society for Community Organization took overhead photos of these miniscule living spaces to draw attention to the fact that over 100,000 people currently live in these tiny apartments, which are created by subdividing small apartments into smaller and smaller ones. See more photos here, but if you’re claustrophobic, you might want to grab a paper bag to breathe into before you click. [Via Neatorama]
Sometime around the beginning of everything ever, humanity started drafting its long-running list of dangerous, idiotic things done in the name of youth and beauty. In ancient Greece, where blond hair was valued above all, women lightened their tresses with arsenic … which later became a popular ingredient for face powder. Venetian cerise, a skin-whitening cosmetic considered the best of its time, contained white lead that would eventually cause sores, organ damage, and death. Similarly, the first kohl was made of dark lead, which Egyptians proceeded to put in and around their eyeballs. Because that’s a good place to put lead. And let’s not even start with Elizabeth Bathory, the freakin’ Blood Countess, who bathed in and drank the blood of hundreds of virgins to keep herself looking youthful. To Liz’s credit, she lived pretty long for her time period. Maybe she was onto something? Keep reading »